Only God knows who lives and who dies

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Is it correct to say that Only God knows who is to die or to live?

I ask this because today my mother, who has battled Leukemia once before, was in remission, and found out earlier this year the disease has returned, was saying that she won’t be here next Christmas.

I quickly found myself staying “you shouldn’t say that, only God knows who is going live or die”. God has performed miracles for people who where facing deaths door so many times, and of course the saints intercessions has bright Miraculous recovery to people.

I hoped to at least comfort her and make her feel less like giving up, but Theologically e.t.c was I correct to say only God knows and can say who will die and until then no one should 100% assume?
 
SPONP4US said:
Is it correct to say that Only God knows who is to die or to live?

I ask this because today my mother, who has battled Leukemia once before, was in remission, and found out earlier this year the disease has returned, was saying that she won’t be here next Christmas.

I quickly found myself staying “you shouldn’t say that, only God knows who is going live or die”. God has performed miracles for people who where facing deaths door so many times, and of course the saints intercessions has bright Miraculous recovery to people.

I hoped to at least comfort her and make her feel less like giving up, but Theologically e.t.c was I correct to say only God knows and can say who will die and until then no one should 100% assume?
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My sincerest sympathies for your mother. I am sure many on this forum will pray for her as I will.

I think you are correct. God is the Alpha and Omega. Only he can see the beginning and end of all events that have or will take place. To give an analogy… it takes about an hour for the light from the sun to reach us on earth. So an event can begin on the sun, but it takes an hour for us to be witness to it here on earth. Imagine if you were so large that you existed both at the sun and earth at the same time. Pretend one eyeball at the sun, and another at the earth, and your nose in the middle 🙂 You would see the beginning and end of each event that started and terminated between the sun and the earth. You would be somewhat like the alpha and omega for that little microcosm. Now image God who is omnipresent. He is everywhere. He can see the beginning and end of every event in the universe from the eternal state. Including the beginning and end of time itself which is part of creation. In fact, if we take this one step further, we know from science that when we look at the stars, we are actually looking at the past. If an observer theoretically had a sufficiently powerful telescope to look at earth from Alpha Centuari which is 1 light year away. They would see exactly what I did a year ago. If the observer was looking at us from a star 10 light years away, they would see what I was doing 10 years ago. In fact, everything you do, your sins, your good deeds, are captured in the cosmos. All it takes is someone with the attributes of the Alpha and Omega to observe it.
 
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I am very sorry for your Mom’s situaton. She is lucky to have you to encourage her.

I just wanted to comment that accepting one’s life is most likely coming to an end is healthy when in that situation. It is one of the five stages of grief. I would not discourage her from coming to a place of acceptance. With that said, though, you are correct. None of us really knows. When my loved one was in a similar situation, I initially would tell her not to give up because nobody knows. But as her illness progressed, it became clear that she was learning to accept and embrace the concept that her death was near. Sometimes I think the dying know more than we think. So from that point on, I moved towards encouraging her to make the most of the time she had left. She died a very peaceful death, having accepted it much sooner than the rest of us left behind did.

I will keep you and your Mom in my prayers.
 
I’m so sorry. This is bad news right before Christmas :cry:.

I’m curious, how did your mom take the news—is she peaceful and willing to accept what comes her way, or is she in distress?
 
She took it well at first, last time around she had treatment and was very strong and actually the Chromotherapy was gruelling and almost killed her (rather than heal her) but it did give her a short time in remission. She used to say often that she thanked God for every day she had alive. But recently she seems to avoid much conversation about God, or willing to go to church but she says she does say prayers. I convinced her to come to midnight mass at Christmas last year and this year though.

The consultant at the hospital had said she would start treatment in what would be around April next year or possibly sooner so I think it is still a shock to her and I guess with it being Christmas it is obviously got her thinking about the future and perhaps in low sprit about it all at the moment.
 
Thank you everyone for your answers and your kind offers to say prayers 🙂

God bless
 
God alone does know. But, He grants us both the freedom and the grace to accomplish His will. And His will may not be what your mother thinks. A cancer diagnosis is often the cause of depression and perhaps even loss of faith - not saying this is the case with your mother.

Having said this, and having a bit of experience in the cancer realm, I suggest the following: If she is not being seen at a National Cancer Institute designated comprehensive cancer center, I strongly advise her to at least consult with a hematologist at such a center.

Doing so has saved my life four times now. As well, no matter the type and sub-type of leukemia she has, progress has been made in treatment since she was last treated. In some cases, great progress. And, each advance is more effective and less toxic than before.

A little anecdote: My recovery has been called miraculous by my atheist hematologist (I’m working on that!). After immediate relapse following treatment, I was given a 3 month average life span. In Febraury, 2009. It relapsed yet again. It split into two different cancers, and from age and treatment I developed a bone marrow cancer (precursor to leukemia), having all three simultaneously in 2014-2015. Stage IV twice.

If God were to quote Yogi Berra (Catholic, BTW), He would say:
“It ain’t over until it’s over!”
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I am sorry for this sad news.
Our Catholic faith is to encourage us to prepare for a holy death. We are only here for a short time and then we return home to heaven and our God and savior.

Serious illness has a way of helping us focus on preparation. Helping our family to prepare for us leaving. It’s the natural course of life.

This is a special time for your family. God loves you and tells us he has prepared a place for us. God help you as you find your way through these tough months ahead.
 
I’m so sorry for your mother. She is in my prayers.
I believe you are correct, God decides how long we have to live on earth and he knows exactly when we will have to die.
 
Your post reminded me of an article I read about a woman who had been in a support group for parents of pediatric cancer patients.

Some of the kiddos survived, and some of the kiddos, sadly, died.

The author’s child survived, and while she rejoiced in it, she also felt “survivor guilt” over the parents who lost their children. She felt awkward when she saw them at the funerals or ran into them otherwise.

She was trying to find meaning in it all.

I think the question is more “Only God knows why some people survive cancer (or any other trauma) and some don’t”.
 
When old priest Simeon met the baby Jesus Christ at the Temple he rejoiced and asked Him “please relieve Your servant” and Christ did that and Simeon passed away. Death is not always a gruesome state as we feel while alive. Only God knows the purpose of our lives and of our death, but sometimes He listens to our demands.
It is not wrong for you to ask God to heal your mother and ensure her happiness. It is love and it’s beautiful.
Don’t force your mother to Church if she does not want you. You go there and you pray for her. Redemption come together, people bound by flesh and Christ and they pray for one another. Since you can go to church and she can’t you pray for her when she can’t.
Christ also healed the paraleptic for the faith of his friends who carried him. This is the beauty of faith, people loving one another and God. He loves when we love each other truly.
Praying for your mom and you.
May God visit you and comfort your family even more so, this Christmas! Amen
 
SPONP4US said:
I hoped to at least comfort her and make her feel less like giving up,
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Deciding that one does not want extraordinary treatment or procedures is not the same as giving up. Some people do not fear death, but, look with anticipation to seeing their Lord face to face.

ETA, she may be really contemplating how useful it is to do chemo again.
 
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I think she is going to take it again, I’m quite certain of that. But she seems convinced it won’t work , is more what I meant. She has given up on the idea she may just pull through it though.
 
SPONP4US said:
I think she is going to take it again, I’m quite certain of that. But she seems convinced it won’t work , is more what I meant. She has given up on the idea she may just pull through it though.
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My grandma had cancer. There was no chemo available in the 80s, East European country. But there was radiation. She did not want to take it. My grandpa loved her so much and asked her so. So she did it. It did not work. It was as it was. For me grandma is still aged as when I was 6 or so, teaching me to saw and to cook. Due to the gruesome effects on her body she did not want me to see her before her death. I was very angry at her for this. I had no time to say goodbye. But I love her, I pray for her, I see her as she wanted me to.see her, before her illness, the perfect grandma, I still love her so much.
Her name was Felicia (that is happy is Latin). I miss her so. Words can’t tell how much I miss her. I am crying right now. I am not.advising you or anything. My mom is sick too. Not one thing, just several things and several surgeries. I see her wane away. I am worried, she struggles with God. I wish she just didn’t. But I promised her not to stick with her more than she can handle it. It’s mom! If she dies, in a way I die. But I know what she wants and this is it: she wants it to be me to bury her not otherwise.
Talk with your mom, love her. This is… as good as it gets some times.
 
Just let her know that you will support her in either way, if she decides not to do chemo that it is okay with you and you will be there for her. If she does want it, that you will support that decision.
 
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