Opinions on veiling - Husbands

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I think I will chime in. Last year I started to dive into the head covering “discernment.” I looked and prayed but couldn’t really come to a decision. Mostly I wasn’t sure of my own motives. I was concerned about how I would look, (like which style of head covering would look best on me), it being a distraction to me with struggling to keep it on, or those in the parish how might be disturbed by the practice.

So I decided to ask my husband what he thought. He didn’t seem to thrilled about the idea and said I could do it if I wanted… but pointed out some of my sillier concerns, like worrying what others would think, etc and said that he didn’t think I wanted to do it for the right reasons. So at this time I do not veil (I have worn a scarf when I went to a Latin Mass).

At this point it is fine and not a hardship to wait to veil. So if I could fully justify my decision to myself I would do it anyway. In my case I don’t veil because I can’t yet justify it to either myself or my husband. I don’t think I would nag 😃 but we won’t know I suppose.
 
scylla said:
There is something particularly Catholic about head-covering… You are right that it doesn’t particularly have to be a veil.

Women cover their head to as a matter of respect for the Angels, this is a Catholic belief that there are Angels present at the Sacrifice of the Mass. Yet recently many Catholics have forgotten the faith so it was seen as a liberating motion to do away with head-coverings.
Now if you believe that it is a gesture of respect to the Angels who are present there is a very Catholic reason. This is why it is done in Latin rite as well as Eastern Catholic Churches.
It is not a fashion statement or a style that went out in the 60’s unless you do not believe the Catholic faith. We have a special presence in the Mass of the divine, Jesus is made present and the Angels are there also. I agree that Saint Paul said nothing about culture, but he did state that this was how women in particular showed respect at the Sacrifice. This is what is different about our Church and why we act differently than the culture.

My wife does veil when we go to a more traditional Mass but in our parish this would cause undue disruption. There are many pro-female ordination hippy types in our parish who would seek to cause trouble for my family if we don’t lie low and not act too Catholic.
My wife does not veil when she is in our parish as it is a hostile environment for that sort of action. I do not wear a hat at Mass and I would expect any man to slap me upside the head if I was stupid enough to do so. I am a man and it is wrong for me to wear a head-covering unless it is prescribed. This is a privilege that only some people have, to show respect for the divine.

Wear your veil and be faithful, don’t worry about silly comments that might bring you down.

God Bless
Scylla
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Neither wearing the veil during mass or not wearing the veil during mass determines the level or depth of your Catholic faith. Wear your veil and be faithful or don’t wear your veil and be faithful. Don’t worry about silly comments that might bring you down.
 
I believe that the custom of veil or other forms of head dress is being turned into an issue and it’s unfortunate. I believe that the more people bring it up, the more that it becomes an issue, which it should not be.

It should be an individual choice according to custom, climate, personal spirituality and resources. We must allow people room to live their spirituality without feeling that everything that they do or do not do is an issue or a major point of discussion. When we make too much of a fuss over things that should not be a fuss, it makes some people anxious. That’s not a good thing.

Fraternally,

Br. JR, OSF 🙂
 
Thanks to all who replied on topic.

Sorry f I sound a bit harsh, but I think it really stinks that each and every thread about headcovering turns into a debate if covering is mandatory or not. This has been discussed so many times - I am SO INTERESTED in the daily handling of covering/veiling and the reactions of significant others because I expected each conservatve Catholic, like the guy who remarked, to be thrilled about a covering, but obviously, this isn’t so.

Btw. I wasn’t wearing a veil/mantilla, I was wearing a kind of snood that opened at the end so that my hair was showing from shoulders down. Kinda hard to explain. I use either wide headbands or scarves, no mantillas, because I don’t want to stand out as much, as nobody in my parish covers but one very old women from Russia.

Sorry if I confused somebody with my use of veiling, I often tend to use it in place of covering in general, my fault, I am no native speaker.
 
Cran said:
Thanks for alle replies so far, I’d be especially interested if more women could chime in
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Can a:) Methodist woman chime in?
When I was growing up, everybody wore a hat to church…the Catholics, the Methodists, and everybody else besides.🤷
Today, we are less formal, but there seems to be a move back to more traditional dress for worship. I applaud this! It is a great thing to see.

Now, to answer your question, if he were your husband, he would have a right to an opinion about your style of headcovering. Since he isn’t, I recommend this post:
Miserys_Fence said:
If he had said that to me, they would have been his last words. :mad: He’d be a greasy spot on the sidewalk.

Miz
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OK, maybe you shouldn’t take Miz** too**:eek: literally. But honestly, how did it get to be his business???
"[gasp!!]Are you my husband? No? Well, I didn’t think so. What I wear is MY business. ".🤷 (No blood spilled…)
Maybe he has some particular style of headcover that he prefers.🤷 If so, he should take his opinion up with someone who cares. (I would most likely go so far as to offer him a quarter to call someone who cares…I am a very:p grumpy lady).
 
I began wearing either a veil or a hat in church about 2 years ago and my husband has no objections. I’m not on a personal crusade to have other women join me in covering their hair in church; I just wish they - and many men - would cover their thighs. :eek:
 
I agree 100% that we should let each other practice the faith with out being negative towards one another. Those who choose to not cover their heads are not less holy and all women have the liberty to show their respect in their own way, as approved by the Church.

This is similar to the rosary, in that a Catholic does not need to pray the rosary to be faithful and those who do not should not be looked down upon. But in the same way it must be held that it is a good and beautiful practice to cover ones head in respect to the Angels who are present at the Mass. As Catholics we should support those who make that decision to show their respect for the divine in this way, but also not disparage those who have a different opinion.

We should also not make it a holier than thou act but a personal act that shows respect for God and His Holiness. Support each other to be more holy and be signs of that respect for others.

All too often we get caught up in the negative and sometimes we need to seek how to mutually support one another in their own personal decisions on how to practice the faith.

In Christ
Scylla
 
scylla said:
I agree 100% that we should let each other practice the faith with out being negative towards one another. Those who choose to not cover their heads are not less holy and all women have the liberty to show their respect in their own way, as approved by the Church.

This is similar to the rosary, in that a Catholic does not need to pray the rosary to be faithful and those who do not should not be looked down upon. But in the same way it must be held that it is a good and beautiful practice to cover ones head in respect to the Angels who are present at the Mass. As Catholics we should support those who make that decision to show their respect for the divine in this way, but also not disparage those who have a different opinion.

We should also not make it a holier than thou act but a personal act that shows respect for God and His Holiness. Support each other to be more holy and be signs of that respect for others.

All too often we get caught up in the negative and sometimes we need to seek how to mutually support one another in their own personal decisions on how to practice the faith.

In Christ
Scylla
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YEAH!!! What she said!!!
👍

~Liza
(headcovering Catholic woman) 😉
 
Cran said:
Ladies, if you want to cover but your husband doesn’t like it, how would you proceed, as it is a private devotion and not covering is not a sin?
a) Cover anyway and explain him you feel God is calling you to do it.
b) Do not cover because you think this is a matter where the head of the family can have his say.
c) Nagg 😃
d) Something different.
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I would expect you to get different answers from different women, depending on their reason for head-covering and their understanding of the practice. I’ve seen a fair range of views for this and they have different implications in terms of the role of the husband.

My impression is that is not unusual for spouses to disagree on “traditionalism” related issues. So there probably are many cases in which the husband wants his wife to cover but she does not want to and cases in which the wife wants to cover but he objects. In general, I think that the wife should be deferring to her husband, but there are enough variables that this will not always be true.
 
woah!

Just checked back into this thread and am astonished at the response to my post.

HCC, looks like what I said hit you the wrong. I don’t take it amiss. I’m touched you took the trouble to make a lengthy, point by point reply.

zab, thanks for the thoughtful defense. You do get it.

Tim and tsuwano, thanks for the positive replies.

Scylla, I’m interested in you comment that women have worn headcoverings “out of respect for the angels.” Angels are certainly present at the consecration crying “Holy. Holy. Holy, Lord God of hosts” (Isaiah 6:3 and Rev. 4:8), but I learned that the reason women dress as respectfully as they can anytime they enter a Catholic church is because Jesus is bodily present in the Blessed Sacrament even if no Mass is being celebrated.
 
JoanREDirector said:
Scylla, I’m interested in you comment that women have worn headcoverings “out of respect for the angels.” Angels are certainly present at the consecration crying “Holy. Holy. Holy, Lord God of hosts” (Isaiah 6:3 and Rev. 4:8), but I learned that the reason women dress as respectfully as they can anytime they enter a Catholic church is because Jesus is bodily present in the Blessed Sacrament even if no Mass is being celebrated.
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I’m surprised you do not recognize the reference to I Cor 11:[3] But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. [4] Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered, disgraceth his head. [5] But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered, disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven.

[6] For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. [7] The man indeed ought not to cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. [8] For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. [9] For the man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man. [10] Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, ** because of the angels.**

The commentary (drbo.org/chapter/53011.htm) adds:[10] “A power”… that is, a veil or covering, as a sign that she is under the power of her husband: and this, the apostle adds, because of the angels, who are present in the assemblies of the faithful.
 
I am constantly fascinated at how much of an issue this veiling matter is in so many parishes. 😉

At my church all the women/girls veil. No one tells them to and there’s never an issue with it. One day a woman at mass who was clearly a visitor was not wearing a veil but no one said anything. Our church is simply committed to continuing the traditional practices of Catholicism which includes the ones that have been phased out of most churches. It’s not considered a point of contention, just something that you do.
 
Onegin said:
I am constantly fascinated at how much of an issue this veiling matter is in so many parishes. 😉

At my church all the women/girls veil. No one tells them to and there’s never an issue with it. One day a woman at mass who was clearly a visitor was not wearing a veil but no one said anything. Our church is simply committed to continuing the traditional practices of Catholicism which includes the ones that have been phased out of most churches. It’s not considered a point of contention, just something that you do.
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And I have noticed who it is that is making it an issue. 😉
 
scylla said:
This is similar to the rosary, in that a Catholic does not need to pray the rosary to be faithful and those who do not should not be looked down upon.
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Bullseye with that one!
In the past, i`ve been accused of having hangups about our Lady for not saying the rosary daily.
But in the same way it must be held that it is a good and beautiful practice to cover ones head in respect to the Angels who are present at the Mass As Catholics we should support those who make that decision to show their respect for the divine in this way, but also not disparage those who have a different opinion.
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We should also not make it a holier than thou act but a personal act that shows respect for God and His Holiness. Support each other to be more holy and be signs of that respect for others.
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In Christ
Scylla
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Beautifully worded!

To my (male) eyes, the veil wearers look more feminine in a demure way.
Hope that makes sense.

You don`t eat people, do you?!
 
floresco said:
I’m surprised you do not recognize the reference to I Cor 11:[3] But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. [4] Every man praying or prophesying with his head covered, disgraceth his head. [5] But every woman praying or prophesying with her head not covered, disgraceth her head: for it is all one as if she were shaven.

[6] For if a woman be not covered, let her be shorn. But if it be a shame to a woman to be shorn or made bald, let her cover her head. [7] The man indeed ought not to cover his head, because he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of the man. [8] For the man is not of the woman, but the woman of the man. [9] For the man was not created for the woman, but the woman for the man. [10] Therefore ought the woman to have a power over her head, ** because of the angels.**

The commentary (drbo.org/chapter/53011.htm) adds:[10] “A power”… that is, a veil or covering, as a sign that she is under the power of her husband: and this, the apostle adds, because of the angels, who are present in the assemblies of the faithful.
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Ah, Floresco, I am aware of that passage but it seems to me there are two issues here. I’m talking about the reverence we all, male or female, Greek or Jew, slave or free, should have before the sacrifice of the Mass by our interior disposition reflected by respectful attire.

The issue addressed in the quote from Corinthians would be the godly order that defines the relationship between men and women. So, would you agree that veiling is a sign of; one, respectful attire of women before the sacrifice of the Mass and two, a sign of her submission to men that flows from her submission to Christ?
 
i’d usually wear caps, hats or scarves to be more discreet, but i’m very charmed by the veil because it reminds me of mary. there was once i decidedly put on a mantilla instead and most people came to me and complimented, even though most women do not veil in the church i go to.😃

if the man had an issue with you veiling, that’s his problem. carrying on to do what you feel comfortable in doing…i felt strange without at least a headband over my head if i have to enter church these days. 😛
 
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