Wow, this thread has certainly gone on longer than I anticipated, but I think I may be seeing a glimmer of a consensus among the 4 people who are still actively posting.
Everyone agrees that Rome has not forbidden handholding.
Everyone agrees that Rome has not mandated handholding.
Everyone agrees that it is forbidden for anyone to mandate handholding without 2/3 vote of a Bishop’s conference and go-ahead from Rome.
Everyone agrees that it is legal for a Bishop to forbid handholding in his diocese, and that members of that diocese should obey.
Lastly, I think everyone agrees that it is legal for a Bishop to say to his diocese what Chaput said, hold hands or don’t, as you prefer, but don’t impose on your neighbor.
Fix, you’ve said that in your parish you are told to join hands. I believe we’ve established that that is a violation of the rules.
In my parish, and in all of the other nearby parishes that I have attended, hand holding is the custom and 90% or more of the people do it. After reading this forum and seeing the poll results, I wonder how many people in the pews are secretly seething every time the we’re asked to “pray with confidence to the Father in the words our Saviour gave us.”
On any given Sunday, there’s little I can do to make my neighbor feel more welcome if he’s offended that people are holding hands. Going back to my original post, though, I still maintain that the most charitable thing I can do as an individual attending a “hand-holding” parish, is start with the orans position and let the people on either side of me grab my hand or not. It still seems like the best compromise between being open to the person on my right who wants to hold hands and not imposing on the person on my left who doesn’t.
–Bill