Outrageous "parish wedding fee"

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PaixGioiaAmor said:
Get it straight. I didn’t take an 8 hour class. It was a bit more extensive - not to mention continuing ed and experience I’ve had as well. And I am certainly not a liturgical scholar; I do not teach liturgy in a seminary. But I know the basics - and I know enough to be a parish liturgist.
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You wouldn’t have a Job in My diocese…unless it was 4 Years…(a year mean 12 months of study)

Could you explain what a “bit” means? Does a bit mean 4 Years?

You used the word “I” 6 times in your paragraph
 
THurifer2 said:
You wouldn’t have a Job in My diocese…unless it was 4 Years…(a year mean 12 months of study)

Could you explain what a “bit” means? Does a bit mean 4 Years?

You used the word “I” 6 times in your paragraph
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Thats nice that your diocese has the people and the money to make sure everyone is trained for 4 years…

but I should remind you, time spent does not mean well-trained, nor accomlished, or educated. You are hooked on this 4 year thing.

She obviously has been a musician for quite some time. Musicians pay their dues early on when they are practicing the instrument as a kid. In order to be a quality musician, one has to put in extensive time and training to get that way. that PaixGioiaAmor has also been trained for liturgy, as she says, and for that diocese…that is qualified. THey have entrusted her to make decisions. Who are you to question that?

But anyway… I do the same thing…when I’m playing a wedding for a co-worker at church, some of the rules used to protect us is laxed because we don’t need such a huge boundary.
 
PaixGioiaAmor said:
Get it straight. I didn’t take an 8 hour class. It was a bit more extensive - not to mention continuing ed and experience I’ve had as well. And I am certainly not a liturgical scholar; I do not teach liturgy in a seminary. But I know the basics - and I know enough to be a parish liturgist.
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I’m really sorry for you that you felt you even had to defend yourself from that attack that was totally out of line. Some folks just don’t know when to leave well enough alone and mind their own business. :mad:

~Liza
 
I was at a wedding where the singer did the coordination. Actually there was a lot to do. And the bride was late. So the singer cued the organist and sang a bunch of songs to “entertain” the assemblage of family and friends. I guess she had done this before!] When the bride arrived [the limo driver got lost!], the singer/coordinator got each member of the wedding party lined up and “started” in the right sequence and cued the organist again. There was a danger that if the bride was too late, the priest would have to shorten the ceremony because there was another wedding right behind this one.

I have no idea how the financials were arranged. But in this case, the “coordinator” earned her money!!

Ceremonies are complex rituals. And there is a tremendous amount of “backstage” coordination that goes on.

You have no idea … even on a simple daily Mass, the amount of preparation work and “putting away” work afterwards that has to be done is amazing. And somebody has to do it. Usually volunteers. But sometimes, you have to hire experienced people to do it.

I had no idea, myself, until I got involved in some of this. I was stunned at the huge level of effort to perform these rituals. It is simply not easy. It is much much more than a priest [or deacon], the couple, and two witnesses.
 
THurifer2 said:
You wouldn’t have a Job in My diocese…unless it was 4 Years…(a year mean 12 months of study)

Could you explain what a “bit” means? Does a bit mean 4 Years?

You used the word “I” 6 times in your paragraph
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Let me get this straight: To work in a parish liturgical capacity in your diocese, one must go to school for four years. Four years means 12 calandar months. So you are saying that to work as a parish level liturgist, one must have training far beyond a bachelor’s degree, since a bachelor’s degree typically consists of four years of work with roughly four months off each year?

:rolleyes:
 
PaixGioiaAmor said:
Let me get this straight: To work in a parish liturgical capacity in your diocese, one must go to school for four years. Four years means 12 calandar months. So you are saying that to work as a parish level liturgist, one must have training far beyond a bachelor’s degree, since a bachelor’s degree typically consists of four years of work with roughly four months off each year?

:rolleyes:
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This is kind of getting out of hand, don’t you think? Let’s be charitable. And maybe try to stick to the topic at hand!
 
Ladies & Gentlemen:

A cautionary note…let us not digress into one on one argumentation. Let us stay on the topic – this keeps the thread open, the discussion flowing and the feelings friendly!
 
I think young people preparing to marry are faced with incredible pressure from family and others to go the whole nine yards with the wedding and reception. I believe this contributes to the prevalence of couples cohabitating before marriage – they have to “save up” and move in to reduce individual living costs.

It IS true that a couple can be married during a regular parish mass, but they can’t expect anything extra – no special songs, no special readings, no choices about flowers (unless worked out with the environment coordinator), no special parking areas for their guests, etc. Perhaps they can reserve a couple of pews for family members, just as Confirmands and first communicants have pews reserved.

I recall reading in some Church document that people aren’t to be charged to prepare or receive the sacraments, but I know that even children and teens are charged in preparing for the Eucharist and Confirmation in many parishes. 😦

I skimmed through the Code of Canon Law – the following sections seem relevant to what’s been discussed in this thread, but doesn’t address the huge administrative fee charged to the OP.

Can. 212 §2. The Christian faithful are free to make known to the pastors of the Church their needs, especially spiritual ones, and their desires.

Can. 212 §3. According to the knowledge, competence, and prestige which they possess, they have the right and even at times the duty to manifest to the sacred pastors their opinion on matters which pertain to the good of the Church and to make their opinion known to the rest of the Christian faithful, without prejudice to the integrity of faith and morals, with reverence toward their pastors, and attentive to common advantage and the dignity of persons.

Can. 213 The Christian faithful have the right to receive assistance from the sacred pastors out of the spiritual goods of the Church, especially the word of God and the sacraments.

Can. 848 The minister is to seek nothing for the administration of the sacraments beyond the offerings defined by competent authority, always taking care that the needy are not deprived of the assistance of the sacraments because of poverty.

vatican.va/archive/ENG1104/_INDEX.HTM
 
Out of curiousity, how much does it cost for a typical wedding nowadays … catering hall, wedding dress, limo, bridal party stuff, etc, etc. etc.

It’s still possible, I guess, to have a Deacon, the bride & groom, and two witnesses, and have the ceremony “off peak” on a week-day evening.

But I’m curious how much it costs to have a “biggie” wedding.
 
$1300 to get married in the Catholic Church, and they wonder why people are joining other religions. :mad:

Jim
 
Thats a bit steep. I’d go the the Pastor and simply say “1350 is ourageous for a wedding in this or any parish. we want to have our wedding here, but unless you can help us with the price we’re going to have to have the wedding somewhere else and have you bless it afterward. It’d be a shame for us to have to change Parishs over this, but we can’t reconcile the price with he services provided.”

you can negotiate something lower…you can ALWAYS negotiate anything in life… offer $500 cash when you show up. stay firm with the price you want to pay.

show up at the rectory and talk to him privately, catch him off guard when he’s not expecting you. make sure he understands (if he’s not receptive to your first plan) you’ll raise a ruckus with the archdiocese and the local press over the price gouging the local pastor undertakes when a parishoner is simply trying to have their love sealed by the Church.

… i’m sure he’s aware the some young writer looking to make a name for themselves would LOVE to sink their teeth in to that story.
 
Here is a great Idea…have your wedding at a regular scheduled Mass…in my area that is the way things were done several decades ago. It is starting to open up as a new trend again in My diocese as we have had two of them this past year.
 
PaixGioiaAmor said:
Let me get this straight: To work in a parish liturgical capacity in your diocese, one must go to school for four years. Four years means 12 calandar months. So you are saying that to work as a parish level liturgist, one must have training far beyond a bachelor’s degree, since a bachelor’s degree typically consists of four years of work with roughly four months off each year?

:rolleyes:
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Yes to be a liturgist (as opposed to simply working in a liturgical capacity) in My diocese one must complete the basic two your lay ministry formation program AND an additional 2 years in the Liturgy Tract of the Ministry formation Program.

With that in Mind I along with many others here think tht 1300 dollars is an outrageous fee. My parish requires No fee but recommends 100 dollars. However My parish of 450 families doesn’t have to worry about expenses involved with paying liturgists or musicians because we have a volunteer musical committee (and a darn good one too). No expenses in all this we have a wonderful reverent and Traditionally beautiful Mass. I am certain that is due to the fact that The organist volunteers as with the director of Music are professionals who teach at the local college. THey love volunteering… Perhaps the OP should look into finding another parish that is cheaper.
 
I agree, go talk with the Pastor. I don’t know that I would start with ‘this is outrageous’ (sounds confrontational); perhaps more on a ‘is there something we can do to lessen this fee or work on a payment plan?’ If finances are the issue, I would share that with him. Perhaps he will lessen the fee or allow you to contribute an additional amount each week as a payment plan.

If there is no negotiating, then it seems you have two options - marry there or somewhere else. If it’s somewhere else, let the pastor know why. If you change parishes as a result of this, let him know that also.

Of course, if the issue is that you can afford it, but it’s the principle of it being $1300, you could always consider deducting a portion of your regular weekly donation to compensate for the fee (say $10 less a week for 130 weeks). 🙂
 
What upsets me the most is that the couple took care of all the necessary costs: priest, alter boy, cantor, organist, clean up, and the building. The $1350 is an extra fee for this wedding coordinator. The couple has not objections to paying for the usual cost of a church wedding (perhaps even a little extra as a donation) but this sum is outrageous. Who pockets this money? The church, the wedding coordinator… where does it go?

It would be a lot easier to take this sum if you knew that most went to the parish, but from the post, this is not clear.

I believe the OP said they were paying about $2000 for the usual church fees (as I outlined before), this is just another fee on top of the other charges. I would not stand for it myself. I would ask where does the money go? If it is a way to make sure that people donate money to the church say that you are willing to donate an extra $*** amount on top of your usual Sunday tithing.

On a personal note, I got married 3 years ago. We got married at a very small church. We gave the priest $300 for the church, $100 for the priest and another $100 for the organist. There were no set “prices”. My DH’s sister and father sang and coordinated the music. The priest helped us with the liturgy (gave us a booklet with approved readings). My whole wedding cost about $7000 (with the church, reception, flowers, dress, etc) for 100 people.

I believe the usual price for weddings today (modest meaning no crazy stuff :p) is about $20,000-30,000. As you can tell mine was much cheaper thanks to many DIY projects.money.cnn.com/2005/05/20/pf/weddings/

My friend got married at a Texas Cathedral. They charged $750 for the entire wedding. I believe this covered everything except the music/cantor. I think this is quite reasonable. I assume that the other churches in the area charged a little less.

Furthermore, the Catholic medical organization at my medical school along with the local Catholic physician’s group will be hosting a White Mass in October. When I called to reserve the cathedral, no money was requested. I hope the physicians’ group will give the church something something, since my group consists of students and we are very poor:o.
 
I just heard Fr. Corapi on the radio say that a priest cannot refuse a sacrament to someone just because they cannot pay a stipend. Sacraments are not for sale.
 
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