Over-parenting phenomenon

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Don’t be so touchy:) As someone who doesn’t fall in the 2.5 children secular realm,I deal with alot of unkind comments and accusation that a large family is neglectful and not fair for the children.I see alot of positive things about it, no harm in pointing them out.:blessyou:
 
I am not being touchy, I am pointing out that manners aren’t only found in large families. I have 2.5 children, the reason is, there is no room for them. We live in a small 3 bedroom home and drive a 93 Doge mini van. So we are not affording the extas by being allegedly “selfish” by having 2.5 children.
 
Dear Lily,
I know we all have to be mindful about what we say so feelings aren’t hurt. I’ve seen both sides be hurt by comments about the number of children they have.
That being said, don’t let worrying about space stop you from having the number of children God wants you to have. I remember during my son’s college orientation the subject of dorm room-mates came up. The Housing official told the audience that he has found that students who came from large families make the best room-mates because they were used to sharing their room with others and being mindful of the room-mates space.
I would add that these students were more likely from Catholic families and had been taught morals and manners.
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Lilyofthevalley:
I am not being touchy, I am pointing out that manners aren’t only found in large families. I have 2.5 children, the reason is, there is no room for them. We live in a small 3 bedroom home and drive a 93 Doge mini van. So we are not affording the extas by being allegedly “selfish” by having 2.5 children.
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Lilyofthevalley:
I am not being touchy, I am pointing out that manners aren’t only found in large families. I have 2.5 children, the reason is, there is no room for them. We live in a small 3 bedroom home and drive a 93 Doge mini van. So we are not affording the extas by being allegedly “selfish” by having 2.5 children.
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Sweetheart, you are reading way to much into this conversation.Society says 2.5 children is what your supposed to have to be responsible. I have three bedrooms,too. So I guess you have figured out I am not rich,in fact I am the opposite.I do not think or presume because you don’t have alot of children that they are spoiled.I certainly, didn’t mean to offend you.I also never said you were selfish,I didn’t even think it. I was writng about the secular viewpoint on children and family size. I can’t tell you how many comments have been made to me for having"too many children".But, if you felt I was directing a negative remark at you,I assure you I was not.If you were somehow offended,I apologise.God Bless
 
It’s nice to have a guy over here in the Family Life forum giving us some balance. 😉
We women can get be too sensitive while you guys just tell it like it is. That’s why God made us different I guess.
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Scott_Lafrance:
Phew! I’m glad that issue between you two is settled. I was about to call out “Catfight!” to the other forums.

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monica fan:
It’s nice to have a guy over here in the Family Life forum giving us some balance. 😉
We women can get be too sensitive while you guys just tell it like it is. That’s why God made us different I guess.
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Are you kidding, I have a wife, a 13 yo and a 10 yo daughters. Sensitive? I don’t have time to be sensitive. I asked for a bullwhip for Christmas, so I have a handy tool to settle some of our more outlandish family “discussions”. It is getting a little old having to end these tirades with “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” or “DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY BELT.”
 
I’m sure you must bring a lot of balance to your family!!😃 I bet you don’t allow all your girls to be too sensitve.
I grew up the only girl with 4 brothers. They were good at toughening me up. Then I went on to have a family, all boys. Sometimes I’ve found it harder to relate to women because of this. They don’t often understand me because I tend to tell it like it is, or use sarcasm like my brothers did. Iv’e found that it’s accepted if you are a male, but not always if you are a female.
If you get your wish and get a bullwhip, you’ll be able to change that to DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY WHIP. But be careful not to say that in public or you’ll get turned in to DHS.
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Scott_Lafrance:
Are you kidding, I have a wife, a 13 yo and a 10 yo daughters. Sensitive? I don’t have time to be sensitive. I asked for a bullwhip for Christmas, so I have a handy tool to settle some of our more outlandish family “discussions”. It is getting a little old having to end these tirades with “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” or “DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY BELT.”
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monica fan:
I’m sure you must bring a lot of balance to your family!!😃 I bet you don’t allow all your girls to be too sensitve.
I grew up the only girl with 4 brothers. They were good at toughening me up. Then I went on to have a family, all boys. Sometimes I’ve found it harder to relate to women because of this. They don’t often understand me because I tend to tell it like it is, or use sarcasm like my brothers did. Iv’e found that it’s accepted if you are a male, but not always if you are a female.
If you get your wish and get a bullwhip, you’ll be able to change that to DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY WHIP. But be careful not to say that in public or you’ll get turned in to DHS.
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DHS? You mean the courier company or Designated Hitter - Switchable?
 
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Scott_Lafrance:
Are you kidding, I have a wife, a 13 yo and a 10 yo daughters. Sensitive? I don’t have time to be sensitive. I asked for a bullwhip for Christmas, so I have a handy tool to settle some of our more outlandish family “discussions”. It is getting a little old having to end these tirades with “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” or “DON’T MAKE ME GO GET MY BELT.”
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Scott–Do you really use a belt? Please say you don’t.
 
La Chiara:
Scott–Do you really use a belt? Please say you don’t.
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You bet your fruity patooty I do. I used to use a thick yard stick. I get better leverage with the belt tough. To me, hands are for loving, so I don’t spank with my hands. Even God used his “hands” to fashion us, but a rod to discipline. I just don’t have the money to hire ARod, the Yankees are paying him too much to come to my house and handle family business.
 

Lisa, for the women who can handle more children more power to them. If I had a more stable relationship with my husband I would probably have more.
Sorry, I am over sensitive today.​

The belt thing… 😦
 
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Lilyofthevalley:
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The belt thing… 😦
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Ditto for me.

My sibs and I were on the receiving end of a belt or a wooden “board of education”. And none of us would use anything but a hand. Most of my sibs don’t spank their children at all. Just my :twocents:
 
You guys, he’s teasing us. He’s just trying to lighten us up. I bet he does that all the time to his “girls”
La Chiara:
Ditto for me.

My sibs and I were on the receiving end of a belt or a wooden “board of education”. And none of us would use anything but a hand. Most of my sibs don’t spank their children at all. Just my :twocents:
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P.S. don’t you just hate those ol’ hormones sometimes? Try to stay away from sugar, caffiene and salt when you are feeling this way.
I’m sorry about your husband, I haven’t been on this list long enough to know what’s happening there, but I will be sure to pray for your marriage. God bless you~
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Lilyofthevalley:

Lisa, for the women who can handle more children more power to them. If I had a more stable relationship with my husband I would probably have more.
Sorry, I am over sensitive today.​

The belt thing… 😦
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monica fan:
You guys, he’s teasing us. He’s just trying to lighten us up. I bet he does that all the time to his “girls”
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Scott, are you teasing us?
 
I’m just wondering, if this phenomenon is a result of people becoming less materialistic. I know having my son has changed how I view things. I am much less materialistic now than in the past. I take great joy in the blessing on my family, and love to see my son grow and succeed and laugh…

“Is that so wrong???”(he says in his best John Lovitz voice…) smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/4/4_6_218v.gif

Brian
 
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TAS2000:
I found that to be a very interesting article. I object to the line that says if you have only one or two children they become more precious than if you had 4-5. That’s just bull **** indicative of our society. The number of children doens’t make the others less precious. I guess we have one or two good ones and the others are just spares we keep around in case something bad happens?:whacky:

I did think the line about getting all A’s points to an insight into our society. Any rational person would admit that not everyone is good at everything, but we as a society push for superior performance in all areas. So if the child gets less than an A, why does that mean there is somehting wrong? That degenrates quickly into “all kids must get the same grades”, or even worse, “validation” rather than results. Thus the cup stacking begins…
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I totally agree. I have never, could never, and will never get straight A’s in Math. My dad pushed me so hard and yelled at me so much about it, and to this day I do not know my multiplication chart totally, and my life is no worse off because of it.
 
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