Overnight w/ bf and family

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libbeylu said:
No, she should NOT because it is NOT important at this time…a commitment does not equate an engagement…
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I believe her thought was to spend time with him in a family setting before committing to an engagement.
 
Me too!

She can spend time with him without spending the night…wonder what his parents would think? Why not invite her parents too!
 
I know what you’re probably trying to say, but 1/2% isn’t the same as 50%.

1/2% = 0.005 50% (or one half) = 0.5.
libbeylu said:
it is their home and their rules.
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Actually…if this is the states…that’s a bit of a “sticky wicket”. By accepting monetary compensation they’ve kind of given up “it’s their home and their rules”. The “tenant” gains a ton of rights when money is exchanged.

I’m still a bit taken back that OP feels the need to tell her parents where she’s going in the first place…and if so why her parents may get upset.

I remember the first time I went home with my girlfriend (now wife) in college. We’d been dating 2-3 months. I just told my parents, FYI I won’t be at Thanksgiving this year. Going home with XXXX.
 
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Yes, I’ve never fully agreed with the “my house, my rules” philosophy when applied to adult children. Minors, certainly… but adults are adults. Certainly an adult child living at home owes their parents respect, but not obedience.
Once you are dealing with adults, the relationship is different. And if the adult children are paying “rent”, it’s even more unreasonable to expect obedience.

Does the “‘my house, my rules” apply to all adults living in a home, or only adult children? For example, my mother-in-law lives with us. Can I demand her obedience? Can I yell at her if she comes home past midnight and demand to know where she went? I don’t think so. And if I can’t in this case, why could I with an adult child? Adults are adults.
 
I agree. I think it’s fine to have ”house rules” such as Don’t play loud music etc., but parents cannot decide where their adult children will go!
 
Okay!

I did make some mistakes along the way when I was in my twenties with my parents. Later on in my life the mistakes came to haunt me, and I asked God for forgiveness.
And, confessed my sins. One should always honor their parents…they are so deserving…respect them while they are still here for when they are gone…at least for me…it sometimes can be unbearable at times.

Being 27 and living with her parents is ok…however, we all have different opinions…I left home at 19 and went to live and work in a big city. And went to college at night. I gained independence and met a lot of people along the way. Got married at 25…I can only express the importance of living away from home and experiencing life alone. 😬
 
Yes my bf and I would like to spend the night with his family at the cabin BEFORE engagement because I have no idea what it’s like to have that kind of lifestyle. I grew up very pampered in a city and I pretty much do everything with my family. I need to have a glimpse of the potential life I’m going to have with this person before making a decision. We’d like to be as close to what it’s like to be married without sinning.
 
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Sleeping in separate bedrooms while his family is there, no reasonable person could believe you were fornicating. Unreasonable people made baseless allegations against Jesus, and He did not stop ministering to tax collectors and prostitutes on their account.
 
libbeylu said:
One should always honor their parents…they are so deserving…respect them while they are still here for when they are gone…at least for me…it sometimes can be unbearable at times.
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Sure, I don’t think anyone said any different.
libbeylu said:
Being 27 and living with her parents is ok
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Don’t disagree…not the decision I would personally make.
libbeylu said:
I left home at 19
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Ditto. I was actually 18. When I got home from Basic Combat Training and Advanced Individual Training I lived with my parents for about 18 months. Didn’t want to, but I didn’t have any roommate options yet and lived too close to campus to be able to live in the dorms.

As soon as my freshman year was over and I had some friends to roommate with, I moved out and never looked back.

For that short time I did live at home my freshman year of college, I never told my parents where I was going and when/if I was going to be back. Odds were on a Friday or Saturday night (if I didn’t have to work the next day), I was going to end up sleeping on campus anyway.
 
I loved my parents and would never want them to worry about me…while young and living in an apartment in the big city, my dad would always call me…just about every day. He would guide me with his words of wisdom…go to work, pay your rent, buy groceries, go to school, pay your bills…in other words, be responsible. He was really worried for me when I started working for a large company, in the downtown area, in the computer field. The job was good career move with one exception, it was a night-time position. When he would call me, I could tell by his voice that he was very concern for my safety…then, his calls stopped…a stroke took his life… :cry:
 
libbeylu said:
I loved my parents and would never want them to worry about me…while young and living in an apartment in the big city, my dad would always call me…just about every day. He would guide me with his words of wisdom…go to work, pay your rent, buy groceries, go to school, pay your bills…in other words, be responsible. He was really worried for me when I started working for a large company, in the downtown area, in the computer field. The job was good career move with one exception, it was a night-time position. When he would call me, I could tell by his voice that he was very concern for my safety…then, his calls stopped…a stroke took his life… :cry:
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Not every day but mine would call every second day and when I stayed with him I had to call on getting home. As much as it annoyed me I would love to still have him around to make me call him.
 
I too would love to hear my dad’s voice over the phone one more time…His pasing devasted me…this changed my whole life…

Parents are not perfect…they are not suppose to be…but we are to honor thy Mother and thy Father…
 
I understand. I will always honour my parents but I also have a life to live. What I’m about to do will worry them for sure but I will do the best I can to ease that by reassuring them and getting my bf’s parents to call them beforehand.
Again I have to move forward here without sinning.
 
mandy1 said:
Again I have to move forward here without sinning.
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You’re not. I was 20 and my girlfriend (wife now) was 19 when I went home with her from college to meet her family and stayed with them for 4 days. It wasn’t that huge of deal.
mandy1 said:
What I’m about to do will worry them for sure but I will do the best I can to ease that by reassuring them and getting my bf’s parents to call them beforehand.
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You’re 27…your word should be good enough, IMHO.
 
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