Therapists have described my husband as a narcissist before.
Have you gotten counselling for yourself, so you’ll have coaching and support through the considerably difficult task of living with him without feeling as if you’re going crazy?
All of us have our faults, and to some degree all of us give other people the need to re-orient to reality by the use of outside support. In a marriage, both of us are furniture that has been knocked a bit off of perpendicular. Any of us can be a walking optical illusion.
Someone with a serious emotional slant, however, can really mess with the orientation of those around him or her, because of course this person, like everyone else, feels a need to see and characterize the rest of the world in such a way as to reassure ourselves that even our obviously “off” angles are more or less close to “square.”
If you are married to someone with an issue such as narcissism, consider on-going counselling as an investment in your own sanity and safety. Maybe it only needs to be a wise friend, but you need someone to give you reassurance that yes, you are sane and that your husband does, in fact, have a permanent slant that he doesn’t acknowledge and that colors most things that he says and does. Dancing the dance that is required to navigate life with a narcissist is hard enough. Doing it without someone to coach you and encourage you is more than you should ask yourself.
I’ll echo** Et Cetera**: You also need someone to help you avoid denial of dangerous situations, because they are prone to happen and you are prone to minimize them. Not certainly going to do it, but you are definitely at a real risk of acting slowly when you need to act quickly and decisively. You need someone to help you keep on the lookout in order to keep yourself and your child safe.
