Over the past few years we have had a variety of families show up after mass and beg for change at the exit of our church. Any time it happens, the priest puts a reminder in the bulletin asking us not to give directly to them but to send them to him for help.
He told us that there are some who are simply doing this as a job who aren’t actually hungry per se, and he would prefer to see them and handle it himself.
Meanwhile, I have a personal commitment to always give a couple of dollars to the panhandlers who are at highway exits. They are always older men, often with a sign that says homeless veteran, or sober veteran. When my mother questioned me on giving someone money once, I said that I really don’t feel concerned about what he may or may not do with the money. It’s more that he looks at me and asks…I feel that I have to answer.
So I feel a little bit uncomfortable leaving Mass and ignoring people who are looking for my help. I know I’m a little naive! I just have a hard time believing that someone would beg for money if they didnt need it. I can see why they would try coming to a big church to hope for a lot of people to help them.
What do you think?
I agree to listen to your priest. I used to give to all and everyone and had a LOT of problems as a result.
Let me give you examples of a few of the problems either I, or others, have had.
One time, a friend of mine felt so sorry for someone, gave to him. By the time he passed by on the way back, the man was drunk!
Here in Mexico, we’ve had lots of cases of husslers of all stripes. We’ve had people do things such as fake all kinds of illnesses and conditions including blindness! We had one guy fake having one leg! Then, people would later see this same guy somehow walking around. A friend of mine gave to him, later saw him walking around, and her husband scolded her something terrible.
I left Mexico, was gone about 7 years, came back and there were mostly the same people there begging as when I left.
A lady who sells snacks outside of the church said there’s a guy who has a sob story of being recently released from prison, having no money, etc. She said he’s been telling that story for about 10 years, now!
I gave many times to people who had these HUGE, deep ulcers on their skin. I had never in my life seen anything like it. I helped those people tremendously. Although, I offered numerous times to take them to the Red Cross to see a doctor… I think I offered to 4 of these people. NONE of them accepted my offer. They always had some excuse.
Anyway, later, I was reading Yahoo Mexico, and it showed pictures of people with the SAME kind of ulceration. The article said there was a new drug which had come out which had been nicknamed “The poorman’s heroine” which did that! I felt soooo foolish!
I’ve given people money for a uniform for school, once, got used for a party, instead.
Oh, some admitted they were on drugs. I offered to take them, in a cab, right then to a shelter. I guess I offered this to at least two. Neither accepted.
I’ve been told some, at least here, will put tourniquets on their legs to make them swell up, sometimes cut themselves, put a kind of purple dye to make it look all nasty, and make them look sick. They use this money, usually for alcohol or drugs.
Some people are able bodied, can work but rather beg, instead.
There was one guy I gave to. I saw him begging recently. He’s now got a cane and wears a medical mask! He gets all kinds of money, probably for drugs.
We’ve had cases where we give food to people, and they throw it on the ground! They will say they wanted money, not food (even though they might say they’re starving).
We’ve had skinny skinny people, but if you give them food, they will rarely want to eat it. They’re often addicts.
Also, there are people who do this who have property and all the rest, just find it lucrative. Some people may be legitimately sick but decide not to get well, because they can get people to feel sorry for them better the sicker they are. So, they will sometimes refuse medical treatment to continue on this way.
We had homeless people, drug addicts, alcoholics all hanging outside churches, begging, even sleeping there. One church put up a sign which said NOT to give money to these people, that if you truly want to help them, to instead, to contact the proper authorities…in this case it would be your priest.
LISTEN to him! He has lots of experience. In many cases throwing money at this will not only NOT help but can make matters much worse.
My recommendation would be if you want to give, give to an organization. They have ways to see who is genuinely needy and who is not, who is a fraud. That way you’re more assured your money will get to where it needs to and not be used for vices.
