Parents fighting all the time

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Monica4316

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Is anyone else in a similar situation? How in the world do I deal with this? Please say a prayer if you have a moment… things are really bad at home. thank you
 
Monica, I personally love your posts. And I love it that you go to confession frequently and have spiritual director, and want to be obedient to him.

🙂 It gives me consolation, seeing there is a person who loves Jesus.

About your parents who fight all the time. Is it all the time? it must be hard for you, especially when you live in your parents house, it may disturb your prayer time.

I live in my grandmother’s house to avoid my brother playing video games and shouting loudly. I cannot pray.

I would suggest you have First Friday Devotions to the sacred heart of Jesus, and have an image of the Sacred Heart of Jesus venerated in your room. Or in the house.

Jesus promised to St. Mary Margaret Alocque that he will grant peace the family of a house who venerate the sacred heart image.

You can read the 13 promises here
miraclerosarymission.org/shj.htm

You can also consecrate your family to the immaculate heart of mary and the sacred heart of Jesus, to be their slaves.

Yes, their slaves. Slaves of Jesus is better than slave of the devil/sin.

You can do personal enthronement of the Sacred Heart of Jesus in your family in this page
sacredheartdevotion.com/enthronement.htm

You may also find these pages helpful, just pray these and they will help

sacredheartdevotion.com/shprayerpage.htm

Say a little personal exorcism, it is the devil’s doing.
sacredheartdevotion.com/prayer.htm

Have holy water in your house, and bless your house with it.

May the merciful Jesus bless you.

I pray for you:gopray2:
 
Here are the act of consecration

Act of Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
I, (Name), a faithless sinner-- renew and ratify today in thy hands, O Immaculate Mother, the vows of my Baptism; I renounce forever Satan, his pomps and works; and I give myself entirely to Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Wisdom, to carry my cross after Him all the days of my life, and to be more faithful to Him than I have ever been before.

In the presence of all the heavenly court I choose thee this day, for my Mother and Mistress. I deliver and consecrate to thee, as thy slave, my body and soul, my goods, both interior and exterior, and even the value of all my good actions, past, present and future; leaving to thee the entire and full right of disposing of me, and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to thy good pleasure, for the greater glory of God, in time and in eternity. Amen.

(St. Louis-De Montfort’s Consecration)

You can fill the name with your name and your family’s

Act of consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus can be found on this page
miraclerosarymission.org/shj1.htm

Pray for your family’s conversion. That will help you tremendeously, and God will change their heart.

May the merciful Jesus bless you
 
Thanks Maria :hug1:

Yes they fight all the time. It’s been like that for many years. There are a few days when they don’t fight but that’s rare. Tonight was so bad, they were shouting and screaming, and I was just standing in the room… then I just couldn’t take it anymore and I started saying the ‘Hail Mary’ out loud, but I don’t know if that was a good idea. 😦 maybe I should have said it silently. I just left then, and dad went after me, and then - I did something really dumb… 😦 I’ve been discerning religious life for a while but I haven’t told my family because they are not Catholic and completely against the idea. But when I was talking to dad I said something like, I can’t take this anymore, I am considering going to a monastery. (my parents fighting is not the reason I’ve been discerning though). I don’t even know why I said it but it made dad more upset and now I feel bad 😦 if I ever tell them, it shouldn’t be in this way… sigh…

My mom told me I should start thinking about moving out, because I graduated from university so I guess I’m supposed to be doing that in September or October. Now my mom is considering moving from dad and getting a place somewhere in a small town. So I guess my whole family will be separated. I just wish they would find peace, not fight anymore, forgive each other, and come back to the Sacraments…

Okay I’m just really tired… I guess this is a cross… I don’t know if there are any Saints whose parents fought. I know St Rita made peace between families. I should pray to her.
 
mariafransisca3 said:
Here are the act of consecration

Act of Consecration to the Immaculate Heart of Mary
I, (Name), a faithless sinner-- renew and ratify today in thy hands, O Immaculate Mother, the vows of my Baptism; I renounce forever Satan, his pomps and works; and I give myself entirely to Jesus Christ, the Incarnate Wisdom, to carry my cross after Him all the days of my life, and to be more faithful to Him than I have ever been before.

In the presence of all the heavenly court I choose thee this day, for my Mother and Mistress. I deliver and consecrate to thee, as thy slave, my body and soul, my goods, both interior and exterior, and even the value of all my good actions, past, present and future; leaving to thee the entire and full right of disposing of me, and all that belongs to me, without exception, according to thy good pleasure, for the greater glory of God, in time and in eternity. Amen.

(St. Louis-De Montfort’s Consecration)

You can fill the name with your name and your family’s

Act of consecration to the Sacred Heart of Jesus can be found on this page
miraclerosarymission.org/shj1.htm

Pray for your family’s conversion. That will help you tremendeously, and God will change their heart.

May the merciful Jesus bless you
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I am renewing my Total Consecration on June 27th 🙂 it’s a great devotion!! when I first did it, God really helped someone in my family that same day. I think the devotion is definitely from God.
 
I feel sorry… and rather horrified, about the prospect of your family’s separation.

Jesus wants us to unite in love.

Love one another as he has loved us.

That will hurt you badly if they separate. I will pray for you and your family daily.:gopray2:

Do you pray for your family’s conversion? you should try to.

Do put an image of the sacred heart venerated in your house/room

Or just find an image of the sacred heart on google, put that as your wallpaper and venerate it

Oh really you’ve been discerning? me too.

I want to be a carmelite or carthusian nun.

The reason, is not about my family either, it is about the heart. God’s call. But I was rejected and have not had the courage or idea how to try again:o

But I surrender myself to God’s Will.

I figure if I am in a monastery there will be perpetual silence, and continual prayer 🙂

Do pray the enthronement, Jesus will bring peace back to your house.

Yes, the act of consecration to Mary was almost miraculous to me. It brings total difference to my devotion. And myself personally, in my service to Jesus, in love.:o
 
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Thank you so much 🙂

Honestly I can’t even figure out if I would ever be able to be a nun, at this point anyway I have so many student loans to pay off… I am also unsure of what God is calling me to, for all I know it could be marriage. But I’ve been discerning because I just love that life, I know it’s probably very difficult, nor am I at all worthy of it. I love the Carmelites too.

I remember reading about St Gemma and how she really felt called to be a nun and yet she was never able to actually become a nun. I guess sometimes that happens. Other times, it just takes time, like with St Rita. Keep praying 🙂 or maybe try a different order. in any case God desires for us to be close to Him and everything happens according to His plan. We don’t know His full plan yet but it would perhaps be revealed more in eternity.

I have pictures of the Sacred Heart in my room 🙂 I really like that devotion and have always wanted to do the first 9 Fridays.

God bless!
 
Have devotion to St. Anthony, he will help you and your family

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I figure you do all the right things:) Keep loving Jesus, and when you suffer, offer them for love of Jesus and conversion of sinners, and conversion of your family.

I will pray for the conversion of your family too, so that you and them may go to heaven.

If you love Jesus, ardently, your family will be blessed because of you.

Just like Abraham. or St. Faustina. For the sake of one person, many will be blessed.

Here is the enthronement of Sacred Heart of Jesus in a family in a .doc file.
download1192.mediafire.com/bajnu5vk1ebg/ua7anlnf832pji9/enthronement.doc

You can do it just once, and renew the enthronement, just like act of consecration to Mary.

May the merciful Jesus bless you.
 
Hello Monica! I am praying daily for you. My parents get into verbal scuffles all the time. Remember to let the Holy Spirit in so it won’t bother you. With Him in you, you will maintain peace always. Let the Two Hearts of Jesus and Mary guide you, in your discernment and in your family life. Pray for the holy love of the Holy Family to enter your family.

Take care dear sister!

Love,
Jonathan
 
Hail Mary conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee.

Hail Mary conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee.

Hail Mary conceived without sin.
Pray for us who have recourse to thee.
 
Monica4316 said:
Is anyone else in a similar situation? How in the world do I deal with this? Please say a prayer if you have a moment… things are really bad at home. thank you
Click to expand...
I grew up in a home where arguing was the order of the day. It was started by my father, but in the last few years it was not unusual for the shouting and screaming to start at midnight and go on till about 3am in the morning, probably about every second night on the average. Someitimes my father would move away, but unfortunately he would come back, and it would start all over again.

As he had a rifle and a shotgun downstairs, we often used to wonder if we’d wake up in the morning. I had the rifle pointed at my head by him once, amongts other peccadilloes.

However I wasn’t religious. None of us were. Had they kept close to God, they probably would have avoided a lot of the problems that occurred, but both of them wallked away from God, for various reasons. I think Mum always had a sense of God being there, but he was an outright atheist.

I suppose it might have helped if I had been a practising Christian, but by itself I doubt whether it would have made any difference, except that I might have been encouraged more by other people. But i didn’t get any encouragement, and one of his deliberate tactics was to completely destroy my confidence.

So I’ve been there, done that. It’s not a very pleasant situation.

Personally I think your mother might be right. Once you get your degree, focus initially on getting a job. Once you’ve got a job, then maybe you should move out. You’re not responsible for your parents’ attitudes to each other, and if they want to be stupid, that’s their business. I’ve often quoted that my father appeared in my room the night he died. One of the things he said durign the episode, with a look of perplexed despair on his face as he saw his life in front of him, was “I can’t believe how cruel and stupid I’ve been! What was I trying to prove??” Twenty five years of marriage, and that was all he had to show for it!

We can pray, but in the end it depends on your parents. Sorry to sound so bleak, but my personal experience is that there is nothing you can do to stop their behaviour. You have your own life to live.

As forhe contemplative life, I personally don’t think people should to into monastic life until they’ve experienced ordinary life for a few years, including holding down a job. Marriage may come, but if God really wants you in a monastery or cloister He’ll make it very clear. I’d think carefully if I were you before rushing into any major decisions. If there’s one piece of advice I’ve picked up over the years, it’s never a good idea to make a major decision in time of personal turmoil.

I wish you all the best. I know the feeling. And I’m afraid I don’t have a rote prayer to offer. I tend to be more direct, telling God exactly how I feel. It might be time you did too, if you haven’t already. But He knows anyway.
 
Bob Crowley,

I’m sorry you went through that too 😦 that sounds so much like my situation, there’s constant fighting and for a long time. It seems like both my parents start arguing, and my mom gets really angry, dad gets more defensive I guess. I don’t know. In the past even the police have been involved. I’ve never told my family situation to anyone except to my priest and people online. There’s more that I’ve only shared with my priest, I really needed guidance and needed to talk to someone, but it took me a long time to say it all to him. (he was very helpful).

I guess maybe it’s best for me to move out… it makes me sad about everyone being split up like that, it’s only me and my parents living in this country, all our relatives are overseas.

I also agree about religious life 🙂

I read your story about your dad and about how he appeared to you. You know I’m really frightened for my family sometimes. I’m not the judge so I can’t say where they’ll go. But I see how much anger and unforgiveness there is, so I get afraid, because I don’t know. Is there any hope, of them being converted and finding peace, if I pray for them… that is what I wonder. They do believe in God and have been baptized. My dad is pretty interested in spiritual things, reads the Bible, etc. They don’t receive the Sacraments or go to church though - they are Eastern Orthodox, not Catholic. I don’t know my mom’s views as much, she believes in God but she often disagrees with my views on things. So hopefully God can use all this to heal them. I’m kind of scared sometimes though. I really want them to have salvation. I’m not saying I’m any more likely. God knows their hearts, but when I see them fighting like that, it’s just very sad to see. It’s not minor disagreements or arguing, it’s way worse than that.

God bless
 
Oh My Dear Sister in Christ, I see you are going through so much. I am very sorry. I will pray for you. I remember hearing my parents argue when i was younger, it did affect me. I shied away from people. I always prayed and it did help. You have to remember praying for them is a Good thing and there is Power in Prayer. I am now married with 3 kiddies and I still witness my mom and dad bickering… I know what you are experiencing is way worse but I just want to let you know that what you are doing is OK. Stay strong in the Catholic faith and its good to hear that you are speaking with a Priest. I’m so happy… Parents should be more aware of what there kids are witnessing but when the spark flies … well there’s no stopping… I will pray for peace in your home. I really don’t like hearing when a home is broken but just keep praying my dear along with our prayers. if you don’t have already, get holy water and walk around your home and bless everything. keep your sacramentals near you and all will be well…
LET GODS WILL BE DONE. AMEN

lisa:hug1:
 
Monica, first of all, no you do not have to have enough experience before entering a monastery. That is a worldly view. St. Therese of Lisieux entered a monastery at the age of 15, with the permission of the pope, and died and reach holiness at the age of 24.

She even homeschooled, so had no experience of the world whatsoever.

I would strongly, not recommend you to have experience of the world. The world is our enemy, not our friend.

You know, there was this nun, who hurt me badly (that is why I do not have the courage anymore try to enter a monastery), who said I should have enough experience of the “world” before entering a monastery and regret it. She said to have satisfied your desires of the world first, then enter a monastery.

How foolish is that? however, at that time, I was blinded by her counsel and I complied. Thus I entered university, choose a very wordly subject (interior design), spent much money frivolously, be “fashionable”, commited many horrible sins, including adultery, go back to pornography, have worldly friends, It was “HORRIBLE”

What made it more horrible is that it happened after my conversion. So I have to convert all over again. The Diary of St. Faustina Kowalska helped me a lot in my second conversion. By it, God wanted to show his mercy for me.

And I went to confession, with full contrition, crying my eyes out.

So, no, you shouldn’t have the experience of the world before entering a monastery.

And about your fright, about where your parents/family will go. Me too. I have those frights for my whole family and relatives. There are none who love Jesus, everyone live according to their own taste and will, and very wordly. Even though they are not cruel. But they forget God, and search for money and pleasures. They have decent jobs, my mother is a dentist, my father is an engineer, my aunt works as a director in a big company, they are… rich. In their thought. But very poor spiritually. And worse, they are like the pharisees who go to church every sunday, yet commit these horrible sins. And no, they don’t go to confession, my mother and grandmother make justifications that the priest is a sinner. I think no one taught them, or they are just disinterested in God, because of their past heart wounds (their family hurt them).

And I comply to these fright by praying for the conversion of my whole family and relatives, even my servants who are affected badly by their worldly behaviour. I do mortifications and penances, unite them with the most sorrowful passion of Jesus, and offer it for their conversion.

Jesus told St. Faustina, that there is only one thing by which souls are bought, through sacrifices (suffering offered for love of Jesus) and prayers.

By these, I still have those frights, but it has been reduced, and I have peace, about what God will do to their soul. I let the grace of God to work in their souls.

St.Anthony Mary Claret said that mortifications and penances impart graces. Graces for salvation. Do not fear, trust in the mercy of Jesus.

If you pray for them, Jesus will hear you.

Ask mother mary to pray for them. And for your sake, they will be blessed.

Offer little mortifications for them, even mortification of the will. Unite them with the sorrowful passion of Jesus, and offer it for the conversion of your family.

For example, eating chocolate. “Oh, I would not eat that chocolate, I renounce it, for love of Jesus. I offer this as a sacrifice, I unite this with the most sorrowful passion of Jesus, and offer it for the conversion of my family.”

Holy obedience “I offer this holy obedience, as a sacrifice, I unite this with the most sorrowful passion of Jesus, and offer it for the conversion of my family.”

That’s how you do it.

And before every rosary and divine mercy chaplet, just say this prayer, Jesus I pray for the conversion of sinners, perserverance of the just, relief for souls in purgatory, conversion of myself, and my family.

They are miraculous

These three intentions (conversion of sinners, perserverance of the just, relief for souls in purgatory) was practiced by St. Anthony Mary Claret at each and every devotion he had, whether rosary, litany of the saints, holy mass, holy communions, divine office. I imitate him, and the result have been marvelous, for my soul and the souls of others.🙂

I pray for you and your family:gopray2: Please pray for mine too:)

Check out these pages
saintsarefamily.blogspot.com/
saints.sqpn.com/

May the merciful Jesus bless you
 
Thank you for the replies… I will reply to each of them soon 🙂 I need to go somewhere now… I just wanted to say, - well my parents have decided to officialy split up… my mom is looking for a new house/condo now… I don’t know I just feel kind of numb. I feel like I only have Jesus and that is all. It’s taking a lot of effort to forgive and not be angry. I’m also worried because - well my mom will be living on her own, and I’m an only child, so in my view I have an obligation to take care of her when she is older… but what if God calls me to religious life? see before i thought, maybe her and dad will be together… and then mom mentioned maybe she’ll remarry perhaps, and then she wouldn’t be alone but - she’s not Catholic and can’t get an annulment so would this be adultery? I don’t even know… her and dad had a civil wedding ceremony… they became Orthodox later but never got remarried in the church or had their marriage convalidated, I don’t know how it works for Orthodox to be honest, I read it’s something about receiving Communion together but they never did this either. Soo… I don’t know and it’s too complicated for me to figure out. Sorry I’m just telling my whole life story here lol I really don’t even know who to talk to, I trust my friends & they’re very close to me but for some reason I feel afraid telling anyone, I know I’d have to eventually though. I think I’ll tell my best friend.
 
Our Father who art in heaven,
hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come.
Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us,
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
Amen.
 
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