B
Bob_Crowley
Guest
I’ll give my opinion on another post about worldly experience first. My suggestion that you get worldly experience is not to “satisfy your desires”, but to find out what other people go through. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from experience, it’s that other people go through these things also - dysfunctional families, job persecution, harassment, persecution. A cloistered existence in a monastery removes these threats to a large extent, and so I fail to see how they can in one sense understand the stresses of people in the world, if they have entered a monastery from a very young age.Thank you for the replies… I will reply to each of them soonI need to go somewhere now… I just wanted to say, - well my parents have decided to officialy split up… my mom is looking for a new house/condo now… I don’t know I just feel kind of numb. I feel like I only have Jesus and that is all. It’s taking a lot of effort to forgive and not be angry. I’m also worried because - well my mom will be living on her own, and I’m an only child, so in my view I have an obligation to take care of her when she is older… but what if God calls me to religious life? see before i thought, maybe her and dad will be together… and then mom mentioned maybe she’ll remarry perhaps, and then she wouldn’t be alone but - she’s not Catholic and can’t get an annulment so would this be adultery? I don’t even know… her and dad had a civil wedding ceremony… they became Orthodox later but never got remarried in the church or had their marriage convalidated, I don’t know how it works for Orthodox to be honest, I read it’s something about receiving Communion together but they never did this either. Soo… I don’t know and it’s too complicated for me to figure out. Sorry I’m just telling my whole life story here lol I really don’t even know who to talk to, I trust my friends & they’re very close to me but for some reason I feel afraid telling anyone, I know I’d have to eventually though. I think I’ll tell my best friend.
In the case of your parents, if they make decisions that reduce their own allegiance to each other, and reduce their prospects of their own long term security, you are not obliged to take up the slack. To separate is your parents’ decision - they have to wear the consequences. In my own case, my father waited until Mr. Justice Murphy changed Australian divorce law to a no-fault situation - that is, assets were split fifty-fifty, even if one partner was 90% responsible for the stress. As soon as that law came in, he went for it.
Result? Two nearly retired people living in rented accommodation where previously they had a home of their own, neither with any real prospect of meaningful married relationships, and effectively very little inheritance for their family (my sister and I). it didn’t do my father much good anyway - within a few months of the house being sold and the assets distributed, he was dead, and hardly had a dollar in the bank. The same went for my mother, except that she outlived him by twenty years.
It’s their decision. You need to look after yourself, hard as that sounds. And I am not saying you shouldn’t go into a monastery - I am saying you need to get some experience of the things other people go through before you do. You know what a dysfunctional family is like - there are other stresses besides that, believe me.
I hope your parents’ sense of God, which they still seem to have, makes a belated rescue attempt and brings them to reconciliation.
So where is God in all this? Frustrated I assume. But He refuses to interfere in the exercise of our freedom. I’m afraid I don’t agree with the opinion God’s will can’t be frustrated. I am quite sure it can, and very often is. In fact, I once had a vision where someone turned up and said, about my father, "I had big plans for you, and he’s wrecked them all!’ And on the night my father died, he also stated, “I’ve wrecked everything!” And my old Protestant pastor, whom I often quote, once said to me, “I don’t think I’d like to be in your father’s shoes. I think God had big plans for you, and he’s wrecked them all. And I think he did it deliberately.” In other words, God’s plans for my life were frustrated. And I in turn damaged someone else’s life, so the same thing could be said for HIs plans about her life.
Add up this continual frustration over centuries, and then throw in millions of aborted children for whom God also had big plans, and one gets a sense of the mounting frustration that is going to lead to the judgement hinted at by Mary at Fatima and Akita for example.
In the same way, I can hardly see your parents’ bitter separation as bearing the hallmarks of His will for their lives. But He refuses to interfere by more forceful means, and so you will be left with what seems to be an unenviable result. He allows Himself to be continually frustrated by us. We pay for it in the end though.
But I still wish you, and your parents, all the best.
would it be uncharitable to say that they are living in adultery
at what they do. Men are very weak, you see. Even in the middle of the mass they can think of lustful things when faced with a girl who dressed immodestly. And most especially they offend the Lord Jesus. I am sad to see him so much offended by people nowadays. So at the end of the mass, I decided that I would come up to these ladies to tell them the truth, I say, (to the old lady) auntie (I don’t know what to call her), you and your daughter dressed very immodestly. The priest may be very handsome, but you have to have compassion for him. He is weak, and even in the middle of the mass he can fall to lustful thoughts. You shouldn’t go to mass if you want to dress that way because in that case, mass would not be a source of blessing to you but a source of punishment. And you have to pay this debt, either in purgatory or in hell.
That could leave you a life long scar. And put you in a very difficult situation. You know you should learn from mother angelica. Her parents was also divorced, and see how she handles it, it’s very inspiring. She would say that she would see her mother cry everyday, because of the divorce, and living alone, and they were troubled financially, and it was very hard on her.
:whacky::doh2::juggle:
so that you will not lose faith and hope and love of God in times of trial
