Parents not happy with me visiting boyfriend 4 hours away

[Allegra]

My advice is to simply stop telling your parents things. If they want to get worried over a grown woman driving four hours, then they don’t need to know about it. Problem solved. Find a trusted friend or sibling to tell that you are travelling, for safety, but there’s no reason for a woman your age to have to clear your travel plans with controlling people. By the way, four hours is nothing. I drove that much at 18 to go to school. My husband lived 8 hours and two states away when I met him.

 

[Allegra]

I’m not surprised, given that we live in a society where children are freely purchased, traded, and discarded. Plus I’m a teacher and see how parents treat their children when they’re young.

 

[Allegra]

Yeah, maybe the OP should move to the city where the boyfriend lives. See how the parents feel about the four hour drive when it coming to visit them instead!

 

[tafan2]

I would not move to spite the parents, but it would be a consideration in order to get out from under them and to grow in the relationship. It would also force the father to rethink his attitude. He might not like it, but understanding his traditional bent, he will have to admit that the man should not be moving to the woman, as the man’s career is more important since he is to be the bread-winner.

 

[Allegra]

I was not advocating moving cities out of spite. However, I would be tempted to point out to parents that if the relationship becomes serious, the OP could possible end up moving to that city to start life and have a family. Are these controlling parents going to think four hours is such a long drive “for a woman”, when it means her bringing their grandchildren for a visit? Probably not.

 

[Psalm30]

I guess I see this as elderly parents who are afraid to let go of their youngest child thinking they will need her as they age and become dependent. The poster has let herself be controlled and manipulated to some degree for some reason. When I suggested the parents might become more lenient after a ride-along I was really thinking that they might become more lenient with themselves rather than the poster.
There is a reason for everything and we don’t understand everything.

I understand your perspective, but the reality is that there simply isn’t any leeway with controlling people. If you offer them a single piece of bread, they’ll likely devour your entire loaf before you even realize it’s happening. Allowing them to ride along will not likely end with riding along — it will likely result in even more manipulative and controlling behavior before the OP even realizes it.

 

[Gabika50]

One would hope!!!