Pastafarianism

[strngrnrth]

Actually, few know this anymore due to the violent repression of Ramenism by the Spaghetti dynasty, but when Marco Polo brought pasta from China, it was ramen, Oriental flavor and higher in MSG than any available today. A member of the secret society of Ramenites, Thomas Alva (an anagram of Alamo Vasht, or in Egyptian, “The Cat goddess’s temple is in Texas”) Edison, invented electric wiring as a secret sign to others that he remembered Ramen to be the true original form of pasta in Asia. Meanwhile, the first pastafarians were killed in a gigantic and historically unrecorded campaign by a small band of agents of Spaghetti who, seeking to secure political favor with the Spaghetti dynasty, met in a dark shrouded council to declare everyone to be eating Spaghetti. Somehow, the next day, without knowing it, everyone had changed from one religion to another very different one. It was hundreds of years before anyone noticed the difference and sent out secret signals to try to keep alive the Ramen truth.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I conchigle to alfresco Gnocchi,
and to you, my bresaola and stringozzi,
that I have spugnoled through my own fazzoletti,
in my tortelli and in my vaniglia,
in what i have diavolillo,
and in what I have failed to digestivo,
and I ask bresaola Melanzane, olio extravergine,
all the agnolotti and salmoriglio,
and to you, my bresaola and stringozzi,
to prezzemolo for me to the Lonza, our Gnocchi.

A big AMEN and come-and-get-it to THAT!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Well, both the FSM and IPU prove what Screwtape said: Only a really clever person can make a joke about faith or any other virtue. Any fool, however, can TALK as if they were funny.

Have we just been insulted

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Actually, few know this anymore due to the violent repression of Ramenism by the Spaghetti dynasty, but when Marco Polo brought pasta from China, it was ramen, Oriental flavor and higher in MSG than any available today. A member of the secret society of Ramenites, Thomas Alva (an anagram of Alamo Vasht, or in Egyptian, “The Cat goddess’s temple is in Texas”) Edison, invented electric wiring as a secret sign to others that he remembered Ramen to be the true original form of pasta in Asia. Meanwhile, the first pastafarians were killed in a gigantic and historically unrecorded campaign by a small band of agents of Spaghetti who, seeking to secure political favor with the Spaghetti dynasty, met in a dark shrouded council to declare everyone to be eating Spaghetti. Somehow, the next day, without knowing it, everyone had changed from one religion to another very different one. It was hundreds of years before anyone noticed the difference and sent out secret signals to try to keep alive the Ramen truth.

Ah,… “Alva”, a Ramenite “crypto” reference to “Luigi Galvani”, inventor of the LASAGNA CELL.

The plot thickens, as does the tortiglioni!

Also notice that “Galvani” minus the “alva” is “Gni”, which is the a not-so-veiled reference to the Lonza GN-occh-I…!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Actually, few know this anymore due to the violent repression of Ramenism by the Spaghetti dynasty, but when Marco Polo brought pasta from China, it was ramen, Oriental flavor and higher in MSG than any available today. A member of the secret society of Ramenites, Thomas Alva (an anagram of Alamo Vasht, or in Egyptian, “The Cat goddess’s temple is in Texas”) Edison, invented electric wiring as a secret sign to others that he remembered Ramen to be the true original form of pasta in Asia. Meanwhile, the first pastafarians were killed in a gigantic and historically unrecorded campaign by a small band of agents of Spaghetti who, seeking to secure political favor with the Spaghetti dynasty, met in a dark shrouded council to declare everyone to be eating Spaghetti. Somehow, the next day, without knowing it, everyone had changed from one religion to another very different one. It was hundreds of years before anyone noticed the difference and sent out secret signals to try to keep alive the Ramen truth.

As a *Spaghetti *Pastafarian I consider what you have posted to be false, untrue, inflammatory, and a personal attack on myself and F-M. In other words, not only rudeness but BLASPHEMY. I call upon all other Spaghetti Pastafarians to take action to SILENCE YOUR VOICE. You deserve to be boiled in a big black cauldron of slimy rice noodles and be beaten over the head with chopsticks until addled!!!

 

[mschrank]

When Pastafarian monks start healing people with destroyed eyeballs (Padre Pio) or performing a solar miracle that tens of thousands saw, even atheists (Fatima) then I’ll start believing in the spaghetti monster too.

Really, this so called lack of evidence is simply a willful rejection of the evidence that is there. It’s a logical fallacy called begging the question.

When they say, “no evidence exists” what they really mean is empirical evidence that can be reproduced (so Fatima doesn’t cut it either) in a lab. The thing is, if it could be reproduced in a lab, then it’d be material. If we could produce “God” in a lab, then the scientists would jump for joy and declare God “debunked”. If they get nothing, then God doesn’t exist, if they get something, He doesn’t exist either.

Basically, the only accept what suits their beliefs, then when that filtering mechanism gets rid of all the evidence to the contrary, they declare that no such evidence exists. That’s why its begging the question- you put your outcome in the premise.

It’s a bit like when the prots say, “show me where it is in the Bible”. Uh no, we don’t adhere to that, if we did, and everything we believed we could find in the Bible, then we’d be protestants too.

 

[Eileen_T]

and here I thought a Pastafarian was a cross between an Italian and a Jamaican!

I’ll have to get out more.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Spaghetti Pastafarians are not Protestants, we are the original Pastafarians.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

and here I thought a Pastafarian was a cross between an Italian and a Jamaican!

I’ll have to get out more.

Pastafarians are not cross. We are very happy people.

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Pastafarians are not cross. We are very happy people.

Do Pasta-farians dislike Fari-pastaians?

Faripastaians posit that “Big Squiggly” (the FSM in the above pictures) had an equally powerful though slightly less al-dente “brother”, who REALLY created the universe, but lost it to “Big Squiggly” in the cosmic “taste test”.

 

[Teeliumtrozzle]

I give up…Maybe tomorrow the FSM will turn into a pancake

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Do Pasta-farians dislike Fari-pastaians?

Faripastaians posit that “Big Squiggly” (the FSM in the above pictures) had an equally powerful though slightly less al-dente “brother”, who REALLY created the universe, but lost it to “Big Squiggly” in the cosmic “taste test”.

Spaghetti Pastafarians (the originals) are not polytheists. They believe in THE FSM. I may like Fari-pastaians as persons. They are wrong, wrong, wrong, but I’ll still speak to them and try to convince them of the truth. I’ll share antipasti with them but not spaghetti. By the way, we do not refer to F-M as BS!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I give up…Maybe tomorrow the FSM will turn into a pancake

Do you say this of yourself or was it re-vealed to you?

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Quote:
Originally Posted by CalmDownWisWins
Do Pasta-farians dislike Fari-pastaians?

Faripastaians posit that “Big Squiggly” (the FSM in the above pictures) had an equally powerful though slightly less al-dente “brother”, who REALLY created the universe, but lost it to “Big Squiggly” in the cosmic “taste test”.

Spaghetti Pastafarians (the originals) are not polytheists. They believe in THE FSM. I may like Fari-pastaians as persons. They are wrong, wrong, wrong, but I’ll still speak to them and try to convince them of the truth. I’ll share antipasti with them but not spaghetti. By the way, we do not refer to F-M as BS!

So, the rather “gnocchic” (the “pasta-theic” version of the “humano-theic” gnostic) Faripastaians are a heretical dualistic quasi-polytheistic (semi-theistic?) sect of the “pasta-theic”, or so-called “Glutotheist”, world?

I doubt you’ll have any luck in “converting” them, of course, as I don’t BELIEVE that there was a St. Aurelinguini AuGUSTATORine to refute those “Mangiachaean” Faripastaians.

I can definately see why FSM, er, F-M worshippers would dislike the Great Pastiferous One being refered to as “BS”, so I’ll not be using that phrase again, to be ecumenical.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

So, the rather “gnocchic” (the “pasta-theic” version of the “humano-theic” gnostic) Faripastaians are a heretical dualistic quasi-polytheistic (semi-theistic?) sect of the “pasta-theic”, or so-called “Glutotheist”, world?

I doubt you’ll have any luck in “converting” them, of course, as I don’t BELIEVE that there was a St. Aurelinguini AuGUSTATORine to refute those “Mangiachaean” Faripastaians.

I can definately see why FSM, er, F-M worshippers would dislike the Great Pastiferous One being refered to as “BS”, so I’ll not be using that phrase again, to be ecumenical.

To be truthful, I don’t really know any Faripastians; I am awed by your understanding of their beliefs. Have you ever considered you may be the one called to be the ‘apastale to the gnocchs’?

Just between the two of us, my faith feels like salt in a shaker.
In this forum I’ve defended FSM and our traditions. But there are so many who don’t share my beliefs, even mock them. I’m beginning to feel like the OP. I’m going on a spiritual retreat tonight. I plan to go alone to my hermitage and subsist on nothing by spaghetti and meatless sauce (and Chianti) for 30 days (except for Sundays). By the end of that time, I hope to be at one with FSM (pbuh) and to be filled with his/her nourishment and spirits. May the farce be with you.

 

[blacktiger057]

I am really confused about Pastafarianism. I mean, I respect all beliefs, but how could it possibly be credible to anybody that God is a flying spagetti monster? Spagetti didn’t even exist until a few centuries ago. And everybody knows that pirates were theives and murderers.How can Pastafarians believe in these things? They make no sense what so ever. Who invented Pastafarianism? Please explain how people can believe it…

No, it literally is a joke religion. It was invented for use in an arguement against teaching intelligent design in schools. It was quite a good arguement.

But really, Pastafarianism is the most hilarious ‘religion’ ever. If you need a good laugh, go to wiki and search for the article on it. My favorite are the eight I’d really rather you didn’ts!

 

[holdencaulfield]

I am really confused about Pastafarianism. I mean, I respect all beliefs, but how could it possibly be credible to anybody that God is a flying spagetti monster? Spagetti didn’t even exist until a few centuries ago. And everybody knows that pirates were theives and murderers.How can Pastafarians believe in these things? They make no sense what so ever. Who invented Pastafarianism? Please explain how people can believe it…

It’s a joke. It’s a satire on religion created by atheists to make fun of religion. Hope this helps.

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

To be truthful, I don’t really know any Faripastians; I am awed by your understanding of their beliefs. Have you ever considered you may be the one called to be the ‘apastale to the gnocchs’?

Just between the two of us, my faith feels like salt in a shaker.
In this forum I’ve defended FSM and our traditions. But there are so many who don’t share my beliefs, even mock them. I’m beginning to feel like the OP. I’m going on a spiritual retreat tonight. I plan to go alone to my hermitage and subsist on nothing by spaghetti and meatless sauce (and Chianti) for 30 days (except for Sundays). By the end of that time, I hope to be at one with FSM (pbuh) and to be filled with his/her nourishment and spirits. May the farce be with you.

Does “PBUH” mean “Pasta Be Uber Healthy!”, or somesuch!?

And why “MEATLESS sauce”? What does the Big Squiggly, er, the FSM (pbuh! unless your glutton-intolerant!) have against MEAT!?

I know for a FACT that the Faripastaians LOVE meat, and will try to harvest your liver for lunch if they aren’t warded off by empty Chef Boyardee cans!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Does “PBUH” mean “Pasta Be Uber Healthy!”, or somesuch!?

And why “MEATLESS sauce”? What does the Big Squiggly, er, the FSM (pbuh! unless your glutton-intolerant!) have against MEAT!?

I know for a FACT that the Faripastaians LOVE meat, and will try to harvest your liver for lunch if they aren’t warded off by empty Chef Boyardee cans!

Meatless because it’s RENT for the next 30 days (not counting Sundays), a time to really focus on the pastaness of spaghetti with less distraction. And I do mean spaghetti, none of your more fanciful forms of pasta such as carrot or spinach flavored rigatoni.

I would prefer not to spend my retreat time considering heresies or liver. But fear not, my hermitage is constructed of empty Chef Boyardee spaghetti cans. (I did not waste the spaghetti but fed it to the impoverished construction workers, illegal or not [don’t ask, don’t tell].) They went on their way spiritually filled, moving slowly but contentedly.

 

[Rbt_Southwell]

Chef Boy-ar-dee is considered a heretic by Pastafarians.

Notice the toque. He does not don the knit tricolor 'fro net.

He is, how shall I put this, French. And thus suspect in all things religious.

Robert