Pastafarianism

[puzzleannie]

is this the appropriate time, since other historical issues relating to the Pastaformation have been introduced, to discuss the Atkins heresy and the attempts to eradicate all pasta? Not to be confused with schism, the introduction of alien elements such as potato (gnocchi and pierogi) or spinach (ravioli) to the pure product?

 

[Jerusha]

Pasta made with jerusalem artichoke is Atkinsian heresy. Therefore, all those made with spinach and tomato and carrot are heretical. I have just received that communication from the pastiferous one, himself. They are not just schismatic.

 

[ralphinal]

I have recently begun to learn about a newer form that claims to be of the origional FSM, but they think the other group was in error. They teach that there is no FSM but the FSM, and Luigi is his prophet. I am not sure how their theology works. It seems a chef was locked into a walk-in pantry for a week, and when he got out, the FSM, using a garlic bread intermediary, had revealed the true faith to him.

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Chef Boy-ar-dee is considered a heretic by Pastafarians.

Notice the toque. He does not don the knit tricolor 'fro net.

He is, how shall I put this, French. And thus suspect in all things religious.

Robert

FRENCH!? French pasta? That so-called “chef” was REALLY an American, and a close personal friend of the High Heresiarch (actual name unknown but widely known as “CheeMac”) who “created” Mac-&-Cheese!

CheeMac was a semi-Faripastaian, as while he believed that there WAS a brother of Big Squiggly, er, FSM, said brother was actually a SISTER, and the incestuous result of their “union” (Eeeeewwwww!) was the amorphous (get it? Amor-phous!) glop we know as “Macaroni & Cheese”(made with Velveeta)!

The horror!!

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

is this the appropriate time, since other historical issues relating to the Pastaformation have been introduced, to discuss the Atkins heresy and the attempts to eradicate all pasta? Not to be confused with schism, the introduction of alien elements such as potato (gnocchi and pierogi) or spinach (ravioli) to the pure product?

Yes. It most certainly is.

The Atkinsite’s (Atkinsian) fascinating doctrine of extraordinarily slow suicide after receiving a “cleansing baptism” in clarified butter just fascinates my backside!

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Pasta made with jerusalem artichoke is Atkinsian heresy. Therefore, all those made with spinach and tomato and carrot are heretical. I have just received that communication from the pastiferous one, himself. They are not just schismatic.

How can Big Squiggly, er, FSM be ORANGE, or GREEN!? Don’t the Holy Books, er, Holy Pie-crusts clearly state, “And the Great Pastiferous one, wholey wholesome and ulta-sifted-pure from only His omnipotable-omniglutinousness itself composed, we do bow before in thanks.”

…GREEN!? I think NOT! Such incredible sacrilege!

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

I have recently begun to learn about a newer form that claims to be of the origional FSM, but they think the other group was in error. They teach that there is no FSM but the FSM, and Luigi is his prophet. I am not sure how their theology works. It seems a chef was locked into a walk-in pantry for a week, and when he got out, the FSM, using a garlic bread intermediary, had revealed the true faith to him.

Ah! You speak of (Pasta) AL’ A PUTTANESCA, usually (for obvious reasons) shortened to:
“AL’ A”
…, perhaps?

A very strict and simple teaching of the (so-called) TRUE nature of Big Squiggly, er, the FSM.

 

[ralphinal]

Ah! You speak of (Pasta) AL’ A PUTTANESCA, usually (for obvious reasons) shortened to:
“AL’ A”
…, perhaps?

A very strict and simple teaching of the (so-called) TRUE nature of Big Squiggly, er, the FSM.

Yes, but I was taught that to print the correct name was to call the wrath of the Eternal Maranara upon your seed until the 7th generation

 

[CalmDownWisWins]

Yes, but I was taught that to print the correct name was to call the wrath of the Eternal Maranara upon your seed until the 7th generation

That IS a problem, which I had forgotten about until you mentio…ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRGGLLLGGRRLLL…!

 

[inthecloud]

Pasta made with jerusalem artichoke is Atkinsian heresy. Therefore, all those made with spinach and tomato and carrot are heretical. I have just received that communication from the pastiferous one, himself. They are not just schismatic.

RAMEN!

 

[Zooey]

is this the appropriate time, since other historical issues relating to the Pastaformation have been introduced, to discuss the Atkins heresy and the attempts to eradicate all pasta? Not to be confused with schism, the introduction of alien elements such as potato (gnocchi and pierogi) or spinach (ravioli) to the pure product?

The eradication of all pasta is a thought too horrible to contemplate!!
We will hunt down pasta-eradicators in the hedge rows!! We will dig them out of the sand at the beaches!! We will go to the local Super-Duper with flamethrowers to incinerate them in the Cheap Floral Arrangements For Clueless Husbands Aisle!!!

…I desperately need to go take my :whacky: :banghead: :hypno: :bigyikes: medications…

 

[LilyM]

The eradication of all pasta is a thought too horrible to contemplate!!
We will hunt down pasta-eradicators in the hedge rows!! We will dig them out of the sand at the beaches!! We will go to the local Super-Duper with flamethrowers to incinerate them in the Cheap Floral Arrangements For Clueless Husbands Aisle!!!

…I desperately need to go take my :whacky: :banghead: :hypno: :bigyikes: medications…

Don’t you mean ‘we will bury them IN the sand at the beaches’???

 

[Zooey]

Don’t you mean ‘we will bury them IN the sand at the beaches’???

No, I want to dig them out of the sand, so that they can be devoured by the Invisible Pink Unicorn of Unvarnished Mystery.
Two for the price of one!!

 

[Teakafrog]

My uncle just told me about this wonderful spiritual experience he had in Sedona that involved transcontinental meatiation, and he saw a vision that the FSM is actually made of SOBA NOODLES. The kind with yam, even. Now, he had to go into a sweat tent, which we know is just a big steamer, for 3 days and nights with only this funny cactus juice to put on his pasta, but, still, it could be true. How else could he know of Japanese pasta if it wasn’t a true vision, since he’s never been to Japan?

 

[Adios_Adieu]

CalmDownWisWins
Banned Join Date: December 6, 2007
Posts: 935

Re: Pastafarianism​

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralphinal
Yes, but I was taught that to print the correct name was to call the wrath of the Eternal Maranara upon your seed until the 7th generation

That IS a problem, which I had forgotten about until you mentio…ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHGRGGLLLGGRRLLL…!

!!!

 

[Zooey]

I have recently begun to learn about a newer form that claims to be of the origional FSM, but they think the other group was in error. They teach that there is no FSM but the FSM, and Luigi is his prophet. I am not sure how their theology works. It seems a chef was locked into a walk-in pantry for a week, and when he got out, the FSM, using a garlic bread intermediary, had revealed the true faith to him.

You can’t trust that dang garlic bread.It was probably that wimpy soggy kind, made with cheap margarine, and garlic powder.
You’d never catch a proper bruschetta teaching that kind of http://bestsmileys.com/puking/1.gif!!

Luigi, indeed…

 

[Claudius]

It is an admitady fake religion. It is actaully a non religion that athiest join just to have a laugh at religous people.

How to tell if something is a real religion, put it to the “gun to the head test”.

Recently a Catholic priest in Iraq had muslims surround him and his deacon and they were commanded to convert to Islam or die. The priest and the deacon refused and were murdered. In this situation, the Catholics proved that Catholicism is the real religion but the muslims proved that theirs was not.

The Pastafarianism priest would have converted in no time flat because he knows there will be zero consequences from the non existant flying spigetti monster.

 

[Booklover]

The eradication of all pasta is a thought too horrible to contemplate!!
We will hunt down pasta-eradicators in the hedge rows!! We will dig them out of the sand at the beaches!! We will go to the local Super-Duper with flamethrowers to incinerate them in the Cheap Floral Arrangements For Clueless Husbands Aisle!!!

…I desperately need to go take my :whacky: :banghead: :hypno: :bigyikes: medications…

Zooey, you’re hilarious!

Vickie

 

[inthecloud]

Zooey, you’re hilarious!

Vickie

RAMEN sister!

 

[Claire_from_DE]

It is an admitady fake religion. It is actaully a non religion that athiest join just to have a laugh at religous people.

How to tell if something is a real religion, put it to the “gun to the head test”.

Recently a Catholic priest in Iraq had muslims surround him and his deacon and they were commanded to convert to Islam or die. The priest and the deacon refused and were murdered. In this situation, the Catholics proved that Catholicism is the real religion but the muslims proved that theirs was not.

The Pastafarianism priest would have converted in no time flat because he knows there will be zero consequences from the non existant flying spigetti monster.

I agree with you about Catholicism but Pastafarians live in a whole nother universe. If a Pastafarian held a gun on a Muslin and ordered him to convert to Christianity and the Muslim refused (which he would) and was killed, would that prove that Islam is the real religion? It just proves the strength of one’s faith.

Now if a Pastafarian or even a Faripastian held a gun to the head of a Catholic or a Muslim and ordered them to eat pasta (preferably spaghetti), would they give in?? Of course! Even Christians and Muslims can agree on the goodness of pasta!

'Nuff said?

FYI, FSM is no more none existent than IPU. Even less so, because of being visible (to those who have eyes to see).