PDA's at the Sign of Peace

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While reading through the thread about hand-holding during the Our Father, another recent practice came to mind: couples who kiss during the sign of peace. I’m not opposed to couples exchanging expressions of love, but it always strikes a bit of a discordant note with me to see these public displays of affection during Mass. It seems to me that we should be exchanging the peace of Christ, not renewing our vows. But maybe that’s just me. (And if we start to get gay couples engaging in this practice, I’m really going to be freaked out.) Anyone have thoughts on this?
What about marriage being a Holy Sacrament, and the expression of love between a married couple (a hug or a kiss) just the embodiment of this Sacrament and a representation of the Peace of Christ through this Sacrament at the Sign of Peace?

I hug my children at the Sign of Peace; it seems ridiculous to shake hands with my 6 year-old daughter instead of giving her a hug to show her my love, and simultaneously convey Christ’s love.

As long as the familial affection is not gratuitous or ostentatious, I see no problem with a little peck or a hug.

However, I see your point; just a couple of thoughts…
I kiss my wife, and give a hug to my three boys. I then shake hands of thouse around me, and if I know there is someone close by that is having a hard time in life I will give them a hug also. As far as a gay couple engaging in something like what you describe I would hope that your Priest would deal with that on the spot.

I will say this we are in Church and in the pressence of Our Lord so when I give a hug or a kiss(reserved for my wife only), it is in a reverent manner. It has also forced me to really mean it, I have to think twice about a fight with my wife after having given her a kiss at Church.

When I saw this thread, I was thinking of folks beeming their contact info from their ipaqs and palm pilots during Mass (shows what a techno-geek I am)


I would like to point out that the offical name in the Rubrics for this part of Mass is “The Kiss of Peace”

Here is the relvant GIRM section, I don’t know if the USCCB

GIRM 82: “as to the sign of peace to be given, the manner is to be established by Conferences of Bishops in accordance with the culture and customs of the peoples. It is, however, appropriate that each person offer the sign of peace only to those who are nearest and in a sober manner.”
Brendan, you’re not the only one who thought the PDA reference was a question about people using their Palm Pilots to beam a “peace of Christ” message to folks clear across the church! Maybe Matthew Fox can add that to his “Techno Cosmic Mass,” but that’s another thread…

I always hug people with whom I am close – fellow choir members, for example, and my son. I kiss my husband on the cheek, nothing inappropriate.

At least I don’t wander up and down the aisles gladhanding everyone in the church! Man, that makes me CRRRAZY when people do that, especially when Father is patiently waiting to get on with the Mass.

PDA: Public Display of Affection. 🙂

Military term I remember from the Air Force.
I give my wife a brief, chaste kiss. I also kiss my children, although it is sometimes on the check, or the forehead, or on top of the head, whatever. I tell all of them that I love them,

Everyone else gets a handshake.
Hehe, I thought it was a technical matter as well…

I will hug my children and husband, as well as close friends, but shake hands with those closest to me.
LOL… I thought of my Palm Pilot as well, though I did know what the orignal poster meant. I keep a bible as well as the rosary on my Palm so I always have them with me, though I don’t check them during the sign of peace. 😃
Scott Kingery:
. I keep a bible as well as the rosary on my Palm so I always have them with me,

I’ve got the Latin Vulgate, The DR and the NAB on my iPaq ( plus the CCC, the Code of Canon law, St. Augustine’s Confessions and the collected works of the Ante-Nicean Church Fathers. in ebook format)

I’d also recommend Mobile Gabriel www.mobilegabriel.com for the daily Mass readings.

( I warned 'ya I was a techno-geek)
Hehe, I thought it was a technical matter as well…

I will hug my children and husband, as well as close friends, but shake hands with those closest to me.
So did I. Show’s how technology has taken over.

I kiss my wife, my daughters, and my grandchildren on the cheek, and shake hands with those in front/behind me.
Well, it’s awfully distracting to see couples exchange a sign of peace that looks like it’s a quick romatic peck – on the lips or on the cheek, doesn’t matter.

And it’s awfully painful for anybody who is experiencing a very troubling separation (for any reason) from their wife/husband/boyfriend/girlfriend to see a couple kiss – especially in church!

What’s wrong with shaking a hand, anyway… even if you’re in love with the person you’re giving the sign of peace to? Nodding and waving to people nearby when you can’t quite reach them to shake their hand but you notice that you’ve caught their eye is perfectly reliable as a way to share a sign of peace.

(thanks for listening… and trying to understand… I’ll go now and limp along to read the next thread)

P.S. Flashing a peace sign with your hand isn’t appropriate, either.
Oddly enough, it’s not the young couples I’ve noticed doing this. They’re too busy handling the kids. It’s the oldsters in their 70’s or 80’s. Maybe they’re newlyweds. Really. In any case I’ll try to avoid using the cell phone or palm pilot during this time.

Lots of times I exchange one of those lean-in kisses on the cheek kind of hugs with my family and close friends. I usually am sitting in the choir which consists of about 8 members or so and we all exchange hugs or handshakes with each other and so sorry, but I have been guilty of flashing a peace sign to the bass player. It does mean “peace” after all. We used to have an older man (who was quite a character but one of the most fervent Catholics I know) who would always come over to the choir to hug us. He had a heart attack and when he finally came back to mass - a much frailer man - God forgive us - we all left our places to hug him where he was sitting in the pew because he was too weak to stand. Father waited on us to come back and start the Lamb of God. When I read some of the liturgy threads, it always come to my mind that surely God is bigger than all this. I can almost picture him laughing and shaking his head in bewilderment over how hung up we get on the wrong things. I love our liturgy and feel it should be done correctly but I hope we never lose sight of why we are even at mass.
Yep, I’m gay to report that PDA probably more equals “personal data assistant” than “personal display of affection”. I mean happy to report…

I use my PDA to view Universalis (online Liturgy of the Hours), sometimes at Mass. Then there’s the PDA I show my wife at Mass. But, wouldn’t it ALL be PDA for members of the Church to shake hands regarding our wonderful union in our Catholicity? I perhaps digress…

Best, YIC
I was sure that “PDA” stood for good old fashioned, Air Force style “public display of affection”, which at our base, in my day was a chargable offense!
In fact, there was a lot of PDA in church, even at the one Protestant service I accidentally attended. The fellows would try to get away with holding a girl’s hand under the Sunday bulletin during Mass!!!
After a fellow tried it on me (and I had never seen him before) I suddenly realized why there were so many “devout” airmen around.
I do not like to shake hands with any one at Mass, so I do like my Vietnamese-American parishioners do: a formal bow.
God Bless you 👍
I’ve got the Latin Vulgate, The DR and the NAB on my iPaq ( plus the CCC, the Code of Canon law, St. Augustine’s Confessions and the collected works of the Ante-Nicean Church Fathers. in ebook format)

I’ve been looking for a good source for Catholic ebooks. Can you recommend one?
I don’t mind the PDAs being used during Mass, at least they’re quiet, although it’s rude, but the cell phones are something else. I like the diocese in Mexico that uses some kind of electronic scrambler, tho I don’t know how that would effect the sound system and electronic keyboard they use here. What I really hate is the teens instant messaging each other in church with their gizmos.

People here are 90% Hispanic, a demonstrative people given to showing affection in families, and the standard greeting is the one-armed hug and the air kiss. Being from up north and of German descent, this is foreign to hub and I. My friends laugh at us because though we sit together at Mass they never realized we were married because we exchange a polite handshake with each other.

I warn you if you try to kiss, hug or hold hands with my hub he will deck you. at our former parish he stood with arms folded during the OF in self defense.
well the sign of peace did used to be a kiss of peace. but id say that the display of affectuion that you give someone should be appropriate to your relationship. kiss a spouse, hug a child or parent, shake others hands. even nod at a distant person.
if my wife is there, she gets a kiss… (grab those any chance i get)
… if my children or fellow parishioners are close by i will shake their hands… i don’t have a problem with it either way… now some feel the need to run around 2 or 3 pews, and that can become a distraction, but i can take it or leave it…


…but i sure enjoy the extra kiss from my wife… good kisser, sofy lips… beautiful eyes… ahem, what was the question… 😃
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