Pediatricians and conversations about LGBT and sexual issues

[lax16]

You’re not kidding! There’s a lot of bad information passed around in the school yard and locker room.

A popular one when I was in high school was that you could shorten your period by taking 8 Motrin the morning it starts then 8 more in the afternoon and another 8 that night.

I don’t know if it will stop your period but it will sure help give you kidney failure.

Some other gems:
Tampons made you no longer a virgin (this one was backed up by some mothers)
Douche early and often (also backed up by mothers)
You can’t get pregnant if you jump up and down after sex
Oral sex is no big deal because you can’t get pregnant or any STDs
Your breasts get larger because they’re filled with milk even if you aren’t pregnant or recently given birth

Sometimes a little reprogramming is necessary.

One thing is certain: get your information from your trusted doctor and not your classmates.

(I must be an oddball but I didn’t discuss any of these things with my friends, mother or my doctors).

 

[PhiloMed]

Never heard the breast one. Doesn’t sound as bad as the Motrin thing, though! Good golly.

I’ve never understood why people still use douches. Maybe there needs to be a bit more education about what is and is not good hygiene.

Hands down the #1 reason women give for doing is…(drumroll) My mother told me to.

It’s a generational thing that is beginning to fizzle out as younger women stopped and don’t pass that on to their daughters.

I’m not trying to get off topic but just illustrating instances where a teen might want to or need to discuss things with their doctor privately and it might contradict what is being taught or said at home. The doctor’s job is to provide sound medical advice. The morality of one action or another should be left to the parents. The topic and data itself is morally neutral.

 

[lax16]

Yes this happened to me too.

It was with my gynecologist and I was in my early 20s.

What shocked the doctor even more was that I was an atheist.

But hey, even an atheist knows that sleeping around carried with it risks of pregnancy and disease and decide that sleeping around is not worth it.

Funny how abstinence has become a religious thing instead of a common sense thing.

“Sorry doctor, but I don’t want to die of cervical cancer or have a life long std or an unplanned pregnancy. Call me crazy.”

 

[BlueEyedLady]

Masturbation is NEVER normal or healthy!! It would not be a sin if it was!!! Self sex is never healthy or normal! It can seriously effect the normal development of a child. Children should be taught to respect their bodies and care for them as the treasure God intended them to be. We do our kids a terrible injustice to teach them otherwise! Why do you think the burst of sexually transmitted deceases have become so rampant !! God Bless, Memaw

Case in point: if you were a doctor and told my child this, I would be speaking with an attorney that specializes in medical lawsuits. You’re confusing your religious beliefs with science, and that’s dangerous, irresponsible, and if passed on to patients as fact, outright dishonest.

 

[casslean]

Yes this happened to me too.

It was with my gynecologist and I was in my early 20s.

What shocked the doctor even more was that I was an atheist.

But hey, even an atheist knows that sleeping around carried with it risks of pregnancy and disease and decide that sleeping around is not worth it.

Should see the reaction when you are in your LATE twenties - not an atheist, but not obviously religious either. Had a doctor try to insist I take a pregnancy test despite my insisting I was not, and had never been, sexually active. I won the argument when I finally told him that if I was pregnant, I’d be needing the Pope, not him.

The discussions are much shorter now. They end with, “I’m a devout Catholic.” Then most think I’m weird, but they stop pestering me for a pregnancy test or STD panel.

That all having been said, doctors are obligated to provide medically accurate information, but where they are aware that there are religious or moral implications for the patient, they should encourage the youth to seek appropriate guidance. Or, as I told another doctor who tried to argue with me about the morality of birth control - unless he wants my priest dispensing medical advice, he should probably refrain from dispensing moral advice.

 

[lax16]

Should see the reaction when you are in your LATE twenties - not an atheist, but not obviously religious either. Had a doctor try to insist I take a pregnancy test despite my insisting I was not, and had never been, sexually active. I won the argument when I finally told him that if I was pregnant, I’d be needing the Pope, not him.

The discussions are much shorter now. They end with, “I’m a devout Catholic.” Then most think I’m weird, but they stop pestering me for a pregnancy test or STD panel.

That all having been said, doctors are obligated to provide medically accurate information, but where they are aware that there are religious or moral implications for the patient, they should encourage the youth to seek appropriate guidance. Or, as I told another doctor who tried to argue with me about the morality of birth control - unless he wants my priest dispensing medical advice, he should probably refrain from dispensing moral advice.

That’s a very clever response!!

Someone will have to explain to me why being sexually active when not in a committed relationship is ever a good idea.

 

[AnneElizabeth]

Funny how abstinence has become a religious thing instead of a common sense thing.

“Sorry doctor, but I don’t want to die of cervical cancer or have a life long std or an unplanned pregnancy. Call me crazy.”

**
AMEN!**

…then again they would probably quip back that there is always ‘protection’ to rely on and that you’re supposedly ‘paranoid’ and not cautious and responsible for not going out there and ‘having fun’. …

I know several women who were using ‘protection’ that either got pregnant or got an STD. Its not protection! Nor is it ‘safe’.

 

[Rosebud77]

A little off topic but reminded me.

A young unmarried mother I knew a few years ago told me she had stopped going to confession when she was 14

her class had gone to Knock Shrine, for confession.

One of the boys came out with a scarlet face. The priest has asked him if he slept with his sister and that it was wrong to do so.

And my young friend was asked the same as was every child in the group .

 

[lax16]

**
AMEN!**

…then again they would probably quip back that there is always ‘protection’ to rely on and that you’re supposedly ‘paranoid’ and not cautious and responsible for not going out there and ‘having fun’. …

I know several women who were using ‘protection’ that either got pregnant or got an STD. Its not protection! Nor is it ‘safe’.

I went to an older male OB/GYN recently for the first time. All of my doctors have been younger females.

I asked him what a pap smear was for and he went in to a five minute history lesson about how and why it is necessary.

weill.cornell.edu/archives/blog/2011/06/george-papanicolaou-development-of-the-pap-smear.html

In the 1940s, when the Pap Smear was first introduced, cervical cancer was the number one killer of women. The Pap Smear, now a standard cancer screening test for all women, has greatly reduced the death rate for cervical cancer patients worldwide.

He explained that he had a few patients die from cervical cancer and that it is a very painful, slow death. I asked how they got the virus that caused the cancer and he said from their partners.

At least one of his patients asked how this was possible since she “only knew her husband” and he said he just looked at her and didn’t respond.

I’m 51 years old and didn’t even know this is how one gets cervical cancer! I came home and told my older children and my husband and they said they have never heard of it before either.

I warned them that sex outside of marriage is more than a risk for STD’s and pregnancy. It could give a woman cervical cancer.

But hey, don’t let these little tidbits of info ruin anyone’s fun.

 

[Sarcelle]

Should see the reaction when you are in your LATE twenties - not an atheist, but not obviously religious either. Had a doctor try to insist I take a pregnancy test despite my insisting I was not, and had never been, sexually active. I won the argument when I finally told him that if I was pregnant, I’d be needing the Pope, not him.

The discussions are much shorter now. They end with, “I’m a devout Catholic.” Then most think I’m weird, but they stop pestering me for a pregnancy test or STD panel.

That all having been said, doctors are obligated to provide medically accurate information, but where they are aware that there are religious or moral implications for the patient, they should encourage the youth to seek appropriate guidance. Or, as I told another doctor who tried to argue with me about the morality of birth control - unless he wants my priest dispensing medical advice, he should probably refrain from dispensing moral advice.

Good one about the doctor dispensing moral advise and the priest dispensing medical advice. I do know some priests and nuns who have MD degrees though.

 

[pensmama87]

I went to an older male OB/GYN recently for the first time. All of my doctors have been younger females.

I asked him what a pap smear was for and he went in to a five minute history lesson about how and why it is necessary.

weill.cornell.edu/archives/blog/2011/06/george-papanicolaou-development-of-the-pap-smear.html

In the 1940s, when the Pap Smear was first introduced, cervical cancer was the number one killer of women. The Pap Smear, now a standard cancer screening test for all women, has greatly reduced the death rate for cervical cancer patients worldwide.

He explained that he had a few patients die from cervical cancer and that it is a very painful, slow death. I asked how they got the virus that caused the cancer and he said from their partners.

At least one of his patients asked how this was possible since she “only knew her husband” and he said he just looked at her and didn’t respond.

I’m 51 years old and didn’t even know this is how one gets cervical cancer! I came home and told my older children and my husband and they said they have never heard of it before either.

I warned them that sex outside of marriage is more than a risk for STD’s and pregnancy. It could give a woman cervical cancer.

But hey, don’t let these little tidbits of info ruin anyone’s fun.

I might be wrong, but I think one can get cervical cancer even without having HPV (and there are a lot of strains can be transmitted in several ways - it’s also the virus that causes regular old warts). Some people get lung cancer without being smokers, either.

 

[lax16]

I might be wrong, but I think one can get cervical cancer even without having HPV (and there are a lot of strains can be transmitted in several ways - it’s also the virus that causes regular old warts). Some people get lung cancer without being smokers, either.

You could be right. I asked him how one gets it and his response was it is “from your partner.” I think if it’s in the cervix it is sexually transmitted.

Our neighbor just died of lung cancer last Wednesday. He never smoked - he was Mormon. However, radon is the second leading cause of lung cancer and we live in an area with high levels radon. I don’t know if that’s what caused it but I guess it’s possible.

 

[Allegra]

I remember my doctor’s nurse asking me if I was sexually active once. Then the doctor once asked a serious of questions I assume to be a mental screening for depression. Specifically, he asked if I thought I could trust my parents and talk to her and I truthfully told him no. I was paranoid for days afterward that he would tell my mother what I’d answered and I’d get in trouble for “embarrassing her”.

 

[Sarcelle]

**
AMEN!**

…then again they would probably quip back that there is always ‘protection’ to rely on and that you’re supposedly ‘paranoid’ and not cautious and responsible for not going out there and ‘having fun’. …

I know several women who were using ‘protection’ that either got pregnant or got an STD. Its not protection! Nor is it ‘safe’.

Casual sex using protection is like playing Russian roulette but with one bullet instead of three bullets.

The smart way would be not to play Russian roulette in the first place.

 

[WilliamE]

Chicken is artificial birth control? And you don’t eat it because your fly is down?

 

[HerCrazierHalf]

Casual sex using protection is like playing Russian roulette but with one bullet instead of three bullets.

The smart way would be not to play Russian roulette in the first place.

True, but the history of mankind for millennia shows ppl have engaged in such risks even at the risks of their livelihood, legacy, or even life. It is sort of like why we invented the helmet. We were doing head cracking activities, but instead of not doing them we came up with various hats to continue our had cracking lifestyle.

 

[ToeInTheWater]

Good one about the doctor dispensing moral advise and the priest dispensing medical advice. I do know some priests and nuns who have MD degrees though.

I haven’t met any priests who were doctors, but I did meet a doctor once who was also a Catholic deacon. I didn’t know what a Catholic deacon was at that time, so I was somewhat surprised to find out the deacon had a wife and children, but once I did some on-line research found out that deacons are not required to be celibate or continent (as well as the difference between celibacy and continence).

Anyway, while I’ve also had my share of awkward encounters with physicians who were flabbergasted by my lack of sexual activity, that’s not the case for everyone. I think actual professionals in the medical field realize that “cultural sensitivity” isn’t just for the minority groups supported by “progressives” but for everyone.

I should also point out that in many communities, including mine, many medical providers have an Indian (as in South Asian) background, and so actually might have more “traditional” values themselves, even the more “Westernized” ones at least are likely more sympathetic to such values than providers from the “average American” background.

Indeed, it seems one reason there are many Indian female physicians, even though India is overall NOT a bastion of feminism, is because many women in India actually find it immodest to have ANY man not their husband see them naked, and would actually refuse medical treatment from a male provider if a female one wasn’t available

I also think it is NOT a bad thing for physicians to be aware that not all of their patients are heterosexual. Maybe some on CAF would prefer to shield their children from the knowledge SSA exists as long as possible, but I think by the time anyone reaches puberty they are going to know about it. Ignorance is not the same as virtue.

I can also think of cases where keeping confidentiality could prevent tragedy, unfortunately there ARE cultures where fathers would feel justified “honor killing” their daughters for any acts of sexual impurity. And certainly there are many parents, including some Christians, who would abuse or abandon a child for coming out as “gay” or “same-sex attracted”.

 

[Rau]

… I’ve also heard that they’ll assure teenagers that masturbation is normal and healthy–is this true?

Why would the subject come up?

BTW - I think “normal and healthy” translates to “is pretty common, and won’t generally cause you medical harm”.

But why would it come up with a doctor?

 

[12345678]

I was told this as a teen, though I never got the LGBT stuff. Medically speaking, masturbation is normal and healthy, and a doctor would be lying (and could get into serious trouble) for telling a teen otherwise.

It’s up to you and only you to impart your values onto your child. A vegetarian can’t expect a doctor to tell a child that chicken is unhealthy and bad when it’s demonstrably not - it’s in the parent to say “Chicken may well be considered ABC, however, we don’t eat it because XYZ”.

Why would the subject come up?

BTW - I think “normal and healthy” translates to “is pretty common, and won’t generally cause you medical harm”.

But why would it come up with a doctor?

This!

Normal is relative… It’s normal to want to eat junk… does that make it good? In general you may not see any physical harm to masturbation, does that mean it is healthy?

 

[at9009]

I never ran into any issues with transgender questions with my children, but this was a while ago. We did run into issues (before we switched to a Christian physician) with the pediatrician talking about sex, homosexual sex, and sexually transmitted disease. This was when he was trying to talk to my children about the Guardasil immunization and telling them what is was for and what it would prevent.

As far as showing respect for the families belief system? Really, I think primarily what is on the physician’s mind is what are they required to do by their clinic, by state laws and by their malpractice insurance I think you can toss faith out the window if any of the above trump that just my two cents.

I don’t quite understand that the worry is about the Guardasil vaccination (except possibly the fact that the discussion was without the parent). If you don’t mind me asking, how old were your children at this time? I do think the discussion about this vaccine should have included you as the parent and care giver.

Pediatricians ask the kids a lot of questions with the parents not around to assess for lots of various risk factors such as abuse, sexual trauma, sexual activity, substance abuse, overall emotional health that the kids may not answer accurately with a parent around (i.e. 16 yr denies having tried marijuana near parent but may admit it to doctor one on one).