Perpetual Adoration, shorts, miniskirts, flipflops

[anp1215]

I have to say, if anyone ever did that to me, they would hear about it. Probably while I was still sitting there.

Me too. And someone at the parish would hear about it too. I couldn’t care less about what someone at the adoration chapel thought of me, but to picture them saying that to a non-Catholic or returning Catholic? I cringe at the thought.

 

[hockeyfan]

Matthew chapter 22

1 AND Jesus answering, spoke again in parables to them, saying: 2 The kingdom of heaven is likened to a king, who made a marriage for his son. 3 And he sent his servants, to call them that were invited to the marriage; and they would not come. 4 Again he sent other servants, saying: Tell them that were invited, Behold, I have prepared my dinner; my beeves and fatlings are killed, and all things are ready: come ye to the marriage. 5 But they neglected, and went their own ways, one to his farm, and another to his merchandise. 6 And the rest laid hands on his servants, and having treated them contumeliously, put them to death. 7 But when the king had heard of it, he was angry, and sending his armies, he destroyed those murderers, and burnt their city. 8 Then he saith to his servants: The marriage indeed is ready; but they that were invited were not worthy. 9 Go ye therefore into the highways; and as many as you shall find, call to the marriage. 10 And his servants going forth into the ways, gathered together all that they found, both bad and good: and the marriage was filled with guests.

11 And the king went in to see the guests: and he saw there a man who had not on a wedding garment. 12 And he saith to him: Friend, how camest thou in hither not having a wedding garment? But he was silent. 13 Then the king said to the waiters: Bind his hands and feet, and cast him into the exterior darkness: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. 14 For many are called, but few are chosen.

Now you can proof-text your passage and say how that means everyone should do whatever they want (I am assuming based on the post that these are regular adorers and NOT newbies) and I can hit you with mine and say that inappropriately dressed people are going to hell…so how about we stop with the Scripture exchange and express our opinions? If you don’t want to be judged by someone then don’t show up for mass wearing a halter top and barefoot? Common sense is common sense. I work with mentally retarded people–severely disabled who know how to dress for church without being told…so spare me.

First off, I think your interpretation of that scripture is missing something. If you interpret it 100% literally, you may have a point. Realistically, Jesus was commenting on the states of our souls and not of our dress. Look, I didn’t put up the post to say that people should come to church dressed as Playboy Playmates. The point I was trying to make was that we should not be judging the appearance of others who come to church. We do not know anything about them. Still we should be glad they are there. It is those kinds of judgments that drive people away from church.

Me, personally, I dress up very nice when I go to Mass/Adoration.

 

[Daim3]

The answer is: not acceptable.

“Oh, but the Lord accepts me for who I am.”

Ok. But should that mean that we can give up making efforts to show reverence and respect? Would we dress that way to meet a president of the United States or some member of royalty? Why would it be ok when coming to adore the real presence of our Lord who loved us so much that he died one of the worst deaths anyone could imagine so that we could have access to salvation?

Of course, no one wants to offend anyone but I wouldn’t let that take precedence over being considerate as to what might be offensive to the Holy Presence of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar during time of adoration – or at any other time when the Eucharist is present in the tabernacle, for that matter. True, it’s the state of our souls that matters most to God and when it comes down to it there are more important things than showing up looking like you’re going to the park or by wearing something that might turn heads elsewhere.

But the manner in which we pray reflects what we believe. We should act like it.

 

[Daizies]

okay, so I was on my way to choir practice on a hot day (and we have no air conditioning in our church) and I was wearing shorts. I was early so I stopped by the adoration chapel for a bit before going to practice. So does this mean I did some horrible thing? I just wanted to spend time with Jesus, I didn’t think my shorts were disrespectful. :imsorry:

 

[hockeyfan]

The answer is: not acceptable.

“Oh, but the Lord accepts me for who I am.”

Ok. But should that mean that we can give up making efforts to show reverence and respect? Would we dress that way to meet a president of the United States or some member of royalty? Why would it be ok when coming to adore the real presence of our Lord who loved us so much that he died one of the worst deaths anyone could imagine so that we could have access to salvation?

Of course, no one wants to offend anyone but I wouldn’t let that take precedence over being considerate as to what might be offensive to the Holy Presence of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar during time of adoration – or at any other time when the Eucharist is present in the tabernacle, for that matter. True, it’s the state of our souls that matters most to God and when it comes down to it there are more important things than showing up looking like you’re going to the park or by wearing something that might turn heads elsewhere.

But the manner in which we pray reflects what we believe. We should act like it.

Look, I believe respect should be shown to the Lord. I personally show that respect myself. We need to remember the kind of company Jesus chose to spend his time with. He got in trouble with the Pharisees because he did not follow a strict interpretation of the law. Instead, he spent his time with undesirables. We need to keep that in our hearts. I agree that respect should be shown. I do too. When we talk like this about other people there for adoration, we are like the Pharisee who was praying to God thanking him for not being the tax collector. Lets focus on our own souls instead of condemning other people’s spirituality. Especially people making the choice to go to Adoration themselves. Apparantly something is right.

 

[maryjk]

okay, so I was on my way to choir practice on a hot day (and we have no air conditioning in our church) and I was wearing shorts. I was early so I stopped by the adoration chapel for a bit before going to practice. So does this mean I did some horrible thing? I just wanted to spend time with Jesus, I didn’t think my shorts were disrespectful. :imsorry:

According to some here, you were not worthy to be in the presence of our Lord. How dare you be out of your home in anything short of what you would wear to meet the Pope, since you never know when you might stop in to spend time in adoration.

(Please, there is no reason that you should feel bad.)

 

[DebChris]

Look, I believe respect should be shown to the Lord. I personally show that respect myself. We need to remember the kind of company Jesus chose to spend his time with. He got in trouble with the Pharisees because he did not follow a strict interpretation of the law. Instead, he spent his time with undesirables. We need to keep that in our hearts. I agree that respect should be shown. I do too. When we talk like this about other people there for adoration, we are like the Pharisee who was praying to God thanking him for not being the tax collector. Lets focus on our own souls instead of condemning other people’s spirituality. Especially people making the choice to go to Adoration themselves. Apparantly something is right.

Posts to revisit. Men who work all day doing hard labor in the hot sun stopping on their way home to thank God, to give Him praise, and to spend time in adoration. What difference does it make that their clothes were covered in paint? Jesus was the son of a carpenter. I’m sure there were many times when Joseph’s clothes were covered with wood shavings, and that he reeked of sweat from a hard day’s work.
Families who take time out of their holidays for Adoration on their way to Disneyland. The priority in both cases is spending time with our Savior.
I do not think that anybody on this thread has suggested that we should not dress modestly at all times, only that it is not our place to judge the spirituality of others based on outward appearance.

 

[hockeyfan]

Posts to revisit. Men who work all day doing hard labor in the hot sun stopping on their way home to thank God, to give Him praise, and to spend time in adoration. What difference does it make that their clothes were covered in paint? Jesus was the son of a carpenter. I’m sure there were many times when Joseph’s clothes were covered with wood shavings, and that he reeked of sweat from a hard day’s work.
Families who take time out of their holidays for Adoration on their way to Disneyland. The priority in both cases is spending time with our Savior.
I do not think that anybody on this thread has suggested that we should not dress modestly at all times, only that it is not our place to judge the spirituality of others based on outward appearance.

Beautifully said.

 

[Daim3]

Look, I believe respect should be shown to the Lord. I personally show that respect myself. We need to remember the kind of company Jesus chose to spend his time with. He got in trouble with the Pharisees because he did not follow a strict interpretation of the law. Instead, he spent his time with undesirables. We need to keep that in our hearts. I agree that respect should be shown. I do too. When we talk like this about other people there for adoration, we are like the Pharisee who was praying to God thanking him for not being the tax collector. Lets focus on our own souls instead of condemning other people’s spirituality. Especially people making the choice to go to Adoration themselves. Apparantly something is right.

Well, you’re right. If people are going to Adoration, that is definitely a good thing and nobody should be made to feel unwelcome. Jesus’ love was open to all members of society - an unheard of and revolutionary thing at the time (and it still is in lots of places). But he also did drive the money changers out of the temple with force and without hesitation in order to cleanse it and reinstate the proper respect to make His house a house of prayer.

I recently visited the Cathedral of Santa Maria in Santo Domingo, the oldest cathedral in the Americas. I was with a girl friend and, since she was wearing rather short shorts, they actually had wrap-around skirts available at the entrance for her to wear while she was inside. Now, this could partially be a cultural thing. I’m not saying anyone should feel bad because they wear shorts, flipflops, dirty clothes, miniskirts, form fitting or revealing clothes, Mickey Mouse ears or anything else to church but I do think it’s possible to be too lax and casual when we’re in the Real Presence of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Eucharist is the holiest thing we come into contact with during our lives. It’s the most precious gift Jesus could give us …and it’s Him, there on the altar. If anyone asks how we should behave around It, I’ll land on the side of showing as much respect as reasonably possible every time.

 

[Daim3]

Posts to revisit. Men who work all day doing hard labor in the hot sun stopping on their way home to thank God, to give Him praise, and to spend time in adoration. What difference does it make that their clothes were covered in paint? Jesus was the son of a carpenter. I’m sure there were many times when Joseph’s clothes were covered with wood shavings, and that he reeked of sweat from a hard day’s work.
Families who take time out of their holidays for Adoration on their way to Disneyland. The priority in both cases is spending time with our Savior.
I do not think that anybody on this thread has suggested that we should not dress modestly at all times, only that it is not our place to judge the spirituality of others based on outward appearance.

Agreed. I, for one, certainly wasn’t referring to people in work clothes, on vacations (minus the mouse ears, of course) or anything like that. I do think immodest dress, texting and that sort of thing shows a lack of respect at Adoration or at mass and, to me, it’s disheartening to see it. The Eucharist is the holiest thing we come into contact with during our lives and if people are going to Adoration, that is definitely a good thing and nobody should be made to feel unwelcome.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

Me too. And someone at the parish would hear about it too. I couldn’t care less about what someone at the adoration chapel thought of me, but to picture them saying that to a non-Catholic or returning Catholic? I cringe at the thought.

I’d probably lean over and whisper “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!” Can’t you see that plank in your own eye?

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

But nowadays its all about "ME" and I shouldn't be inconvenienced and you shouldn't care about me or what I do.  I have  RIGHT to show up wearing a **bikini** and it's your problem if you don't like it.  No sense of honor and respect for God or the community.  I see it all the time and it's sad.

I see this same kind of statement in all these dress threads…I wanna know where you all are going to church that ANYONE has shown up in a bikini?

 

[Moore11]

I see this same kind of statement in all these dress threads…I wanna know where you all are going to church that ANYONE has shown up in a bikini?

5 PM two weeks ago someone wore a bikini top to Mass. Most of the time it is never that bad. Tanks, short shorts and spaghetti straps. One of our EMHC wears a ripped up megadeath metal band shirt. Normally I dont rail on dresscode and earlier in this thread I pointed out at 2 am if I go to adoration I tend to be in flips and shorts. But I just found it funny that you asked this and just two weeks ago some of us were shocked at the girl who wore a bikini top. Her parents are well to do “important” parishioners.
My diocese is next door to you on the right.
I think it is funny. People say “that never happens” all the time about abuses.
across the isle hand holding. Check
changing words of prayers Check
Flat out rock band singing non christian songs for mass Check
refusal of COTT and Communion while kneeling. Check
inappropriate dress? Check
A homily begging for the legalization of gay marriages and woman priests.
A homily by lay women.
These things happen. Not at every parish and not all the time but in the northwest as you know it is easy to be forgotten and overlooked. In the area of the country that brought us grunge rock is it so hard to believe that people maybe cross the line. I think it used to be worse and it is getting better but the great northwest is a little behind the times with coming around to orthodoxy.

Except for the elusive “clown mass” Which I doubt exists. I’ve seen them all. Maybe not at our parish or even in my current diocese but definitely within the diocese of Seattle, Portland, Boise, and Montana.

It happens. I think it is safer to assume someone has seen a bikini than people come on these forums to flat out lie all the time.

 

[Cat]

I’d probably lean over and whisper “MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!” Can’t you see that plank in your own eye?

I would probably start crying. And I would leave and cry at home.

It’s a sensitive issue. There are a lot of people, especially women and girls, who THINK they look really nice, and then someone comes along and disses them, and it’s like getting punched in the stomach. You just feel so ugly and worthless.

I remember 5th grade. My grandma had bought me a new pair of shoes, and I thought I was just so gorgeous. (They were Red Wings, size 10–look it up online and see just how attractive they look.)

When I got to school, quite a few girls started making fun of my shoes, and then the boys joined in.

There was nothing I could do. My grandma had bought them for me. I couldn’t throw them away–they were fairly expensive. And unlike many of the other girls, I didn’t HAVE another pair of shoes.

So I just had to wear them.

Haven’t any of you women ever dressed up nicely (at least you thought you looked nice and fashionable), and then when you got to school, boys barked at you in the hallway? Or have you ever been taking a walk feeling really pretty because you’re wearing something that you thought was cute and in style, and then a car whizzes by and honks and a few men lean out the window and yell, “Dog!”

This kind of thing happens to even truly pretty girls, although most often it happens to females like me who have some good traits, but who aren’t by any definition truly “beautiful.” It’s absolutely crushing, and it hurts for years and years.

I realize that this is not what certain posters on this board mean when they correct a fellow Christian. But it’s what the fellow Christian HEARS. THAT’s the important thing–not what you say, but what the other person hears. What they hear are very very hurtful words.

I believe I posted this earlier, but if I didn’t, I’ll repeat it. IF someone is really serious about wanting to end “disrespectful dress” in their parish, the way to do it is to make friends with all those skanks and flesh-revealers and shoulder-showoffs. I’m serious. MAKE FRIENDS with them. Be sincere and loving, and get to know them, and go out with them, and get close and learn to love them like your own children.

THEN after you are friends, you will be able to bring up the topic and discuss dress in the Presence of the Lord Jesus. There is a good chance that the bad dresser will actually listen to you once you are his/her friend, and that they will change their ways.

Does this approach sound familiar? It’s the same slow but sure approach that Blessed Mother Teresa used in India. She didn’t barrel into Calcutta and demand that everyone stop that dying and that the government start helping its poor and then for good measure berating all the rich countries in the world for allowing such awful poverty!

No, she settled in for the long haul and just started humbly and quietly LOVING people. And it worked.

It will work in YOUR parish, too.

The reason people dress in revealing clothing is that they are looking for love. They think that their clothing will make them more appealing, attractive, and loveable.

So give them the love that they are looking for.

But remember, for a perfect stranger (the word “perfect” seems appropriate, doesn’t it?) to correct someone is beyond rude. It’s mean. It’s cruel. It’s NOT loving–“tough love” is for parents to use with children, not for strangers to use with other strangers.

Correcting a stranger about their appearance is just like those mean boys who bark at girls. It will NOT accomplish what the corrector wants to accomplish, and it will probably result in bad ends; e.g., the person will be so hurt that they will do something destructive, like say something rude right back at their tormentor or even hit them.

Try the “Mother Teresa” approach, and come back here in a few years and tell us how many people are now dressing modestly because of your kind and gentle influence.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

I would probably start crying. And I would leave and cry at home.

It’s a sensitive issue. There are a lot of people, especially women and girls, who THINK they look really nice, and then someone comes along and disses them, and it’s like getting punched in the stomach. You just feel so ugly and worthless.

I .

I remember a post on here on one of these types of threads that was from a gentleman. There was a woman in their parish who had selected herself as the fashion police. She was handing out guidlines on dress…but only to selected people. And she handed one to his wife who was VERY upset because she had put a lot of thought into her dress. That is just a shame!

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

5 PM two weeks ago someone wore a bikini top to Mass. Most of the time it is never that bad. Tanks, short shorts and spaghetti straps. One of our EMHC wears a ripped up megadeath metal band shirt. Normally I dont rail on dresscode and earlier in this thread I pointed out at 2 am if I go to adoration I tend to be in flips and shorts. But I just found it funny that you asked this and just two weeks ago some of us were shocked at the girl who wore a bikini top. Her parents are well to do “important” parishioners.

It’s interesting because usually this argument is used against those of us who feel that jeans might be alright to wear to Church -as long as they are clean/modest…or maybe even shorts… Somehow they think the argument we are making is to wear bikini’s…I still have yet to see anyone in a bikini at Mass…or adoration for that matter.

across the isle hand holding. Check This is not REALLY an abuse…unless it is encouraged by teh priest.
changing words of prayers Check Not seen this
Flat out rock band singing non christian songs for mass Check Never heard this
refusal of COTT and Communion while kneeling. Check Never seen this either…and I am an EMHC…although I wish people would open their mouths a little more…
inappropriate dress? Check Yes…have seen this…don’t want to see your thong while I’m at church…this is why I sit up front…
A homily begging for the legalization of gay marriages and woman priests. Never had this happen…
A homily by lay women. Never had this happen either
These things happen. Not at every parish and not all the time but in the northwest as you know it is easy to be forgotten and overlooked. In the area of the country that brought us grunge rock is it so hard to believe that people maybe cross the line. I think it used to be worse and it is getting better but the great northwest is a little behind the times with coming around to orthodoxy. Heck in Oregon…I’m just glad we have Catholics…and yet here in liberal Oregon I have not seen many of the things you are describing…although I have heard people complain about things that are not abuses and are allow…like girl altar servers…

Except for the elusive “clown mass” Which I doubt exists. I’ve seen them all. Maybe not at our parish or even in my current diocese but definitely within the diocese of Seattle, Portland, Boise, and Montana.

It happens. I think it is safer to assume someone has seen a bikini than people come on these forums to flat out lie all the time.

I’m not saying they are lying…but to hold it up as something people advocate for like it’s done all the time…well that is just a little over dramatic in my book…

 

[Daim3]

These things happen. Not at every parish and not all the time but in the northwest as you know it is easy to be forgotten and overlooked. In the area of the country that brought us grunge rock is it so hard to believe that people maybe cross the line. I think it used to be worse and it is getting better but the great northwest is a little behind the times with coming around to orthodoxy.

I would add to that list drinking Gatorade, having a phone conversation, obvious text messaging, and bathroom humor from a priest during a sermon about the Kingship of Christ. I’ve also seen clothes at church that would turn heads at a college bar on Saturday night.

It’s a sensitive issue…

I believe I posted this earlier, but if I didn’t, I’ll repeat it. IF someone is really serious about wanting to end “disrespectful dress” in their parish, the way to do it is to make friends with all those skanks and flesh-revealers and shoulder-showoffs. I’m serious. MAKE FRIENDS with them. Be sincere and loving, and get to know them, and go out with them, and get close and learn to love them like your own children.

Try the “Mother Teresa” approach, and come back here in a few years and tell us how many people are now dressing modestly because of your kind and gentle influence.

Like Cat says (and so well did she say it), we have to remember that even people who seem to be showing a lack of respect in holy places are children of God and He loves their souls and cares about their salvation as much as He cares about our own. Of course, there will be those who will fight for a right to an anything goes attitude, but generally the more sensitive and caring approach is certainly the most fruitful and most Christ-like.

I think, in some churches more than others, things have gotten pretty loose over the years to the point where it can be hard to tell that the church you’re in is Catholic. The Church has been working to find its way in a rapidly changing modern world and it’s done so with mixed success, in my opinion. I have seen many priests who are admirable in their leadership but I have experienced some who have been spotty and questionable at best. Consequently, not everyone has always received the best instruction or examples on what is most appropriate and on best practices in general. So, if we ever see someone not showing the most commendable degree of respect in the house of God, they may not be doing it intentionally. I think wanting a reverential and respectful atmosphere in church and also remembering that each person is a child of God who may or may not know any better need not be mutually exclusive.

 

[Seeker1961]

I would probably start crying. And I would leave and cry at home.

It’s a sensitive issue. There are a lot of people, especially women and girls, who THINK they look really nice, and then someone comes along and disses them, and it’s like getting punched in the stomach. You just feel so ugly and worthless.

I remember 5th grade. My grandma had bought me a new pair of shoes, and I thought I was just so gorgeous. (They were Red Wings, size 10–look it up online and see just how attractive they look.)

When I got to school, quite a few girls started making fun of my shoes, and then the boys joined in.

There was nothing I could do. My grandma had bought them for me. I couldn’t throw them away–they were fairly expensive. And unlike many of the other girls, I didn’t HAVE another pair of shoes.

So I just had to wear them.

Haven’t any of you women ever dressed up nicely (at least you thought you looked nice and fashionable), and then when you got to school, boys barked at you in the hallway? Or have you ever been taking a walk feeling really pretty because you’re wearing something that you thought was cute and in style, and then a car whizzes by and honks and a few men lean out the window and yell, “Dog!”

This kind of thing happens to even truly pretty girls, although most often it happens to females like me who have some good traits, but who aren’t by any definition truly “beautiful.” It’s absolutely crushing, and it hurts for years and years.

I realize that this is not what certain posters on this board mean when they correct a fellow Christian. But it’s what the fellow Christian HEARS. THAT’s the important thing–not what you say, but what the other person hears. What they hear are very very hurtful words.

I believe I posted this earlier, but if I didn’t, I’ll repeat it. IF someone is really serious about wanting to end “disrespectful dress” in their parish, the way to do it is to make friends with all those skanks and flesh-revealers and shoulder-showoffs. I’m serious. MAKE FRIENDS with them. Be sincere and loving, and get to know them, and go out with them, and get close and learn to love them like your own children.

THEN after you are friends, you will be able to bring up the topic and discuss dress in the Presence of the Lord Jesus. There is a good chance that the bad dresser will actually listen to you once you are his/her friend, and that they will change their ways.

Does this approach sound familiar? It’s the same slow but sure approach that Blessed Mother Teresa used in India. She didn’t barrel into Calcutta and demand that everyone stop that dying and that the government start helping its poor and then for good measure berating all the rich countries in the world for allowing such awful poverty!

No, she settled in for the long haul and just started humbly and quietly LOVING people. And it worked.

It will work in YOUR parish, too.

The reason people dress in revealing clothing is that they are looking for love. They think that their clothing will make them more appealing, attractive, and loveable.

So give them the love that they are looking for.

But remember, for a perfect stranger (the word “perfect” seems appropriate, doesn’t it?) to correct someone is beyond rude. It’s mean. It’s cruel. It’s NOT loving–“tough love” is for parents to use with children, not for strangers to use with other strangers.

Correcting a stranger about their appearance is just like those mean boys who bark at girls. It will NOT accomplish what the corrector wants to accomplish, and it will probably result in bad ends; e.g., the person will be so hurt that they will do something destructive, like say something rude right back at their tormentor or even hit them.

Try the “Mother Teresa” approach, and come back here in a few years and tell us how many people are now dressing modestly because of your kind and gentle influence.

This should be in a sticky for people to ad every time this issue comes up. And honestly, it applies to a great many things people rail about here.

 

[hockeyfan]

Cat;9473205:

I would probably start crying. And I would leave and cry at home.

It’s a sensitive issue. There are a lot of people, especially women and girls, who THINK they look really nice, and then someone comes along and disses them, and it’s like getting punched in the stomach. You just feel so ugly and worthless.

I remember 5th grade. My grandma had bought me a new pair of shoes, and I thought I was just so gorgeous. (They were Red Wings, size 10–look it up online and see just how attractive they look.)

When I got to school, quite a few girls started making fun of my shoes, and then the boys joined in.

There was nothing I could do. My grandma had bought them for me. I couldn’t throw them away–they were fairly expensive. And unlike many of the other girls, I didn’t HAVE another pair of shoes.

So I just had to wear them.

Haven’t any of you women ever dressed up nicely (at least you thought you looked nice and fashionable), and then when you got to school, boys barked at you in the hallway? Or have you ever been taking a walk feeling really pretty because you’re wearing something that you thought was cute and in style, and then a car whizzes by and honks and a few men lean out the window and yell, “Dog!”

This kind of thing happens to even truly pretty girls, although most often it happens to females like me who have some good traits, but who aren’t by any definition truly “beautiful.” It’s absolutely crushing, and it hurts for years and years.

I realize that this is not what certain posters on this board mean when they correct a fellow Christian. But it’s what the fellow Christian HEARS. THAT’s the important thing–not what you say, but what the other person hears. What they hear are very very hurtful words.

I believe I posted this earlier, but if I didn’t, I’ll repeat it. IF someone is really serious about wanting to end “disrespectful dress” in their parish, the way to do it is to make friends with all those skanks and flesh-revealers and shoulder-showoffs. I’m serious. MAKE FRIENDS with them. Be sincere and loving, and get to know them, and go out with them, and get close and learn to love them like your own children.

THEN after you are friends, you will be able to bring up the topic and discuss dress in the Presence of the Lord Jesus. There is a good chance that the bad dresser will actually listen to you once you are his/her friend, and that they will change their ways.

Does this approach sound familiar? It’s the same slow but sure approach that Blessed Mother Teresa used in India. She didn’t barrel into Calcutta and demand that everyone stop that dying and that the government start helping its poor and then for good measure berating all the rich countries in the world for allowing such awful poverty!

No, she settled in for the long haul and just started humbly and quietly LOVING people. And it worked.

It will work in YOUR parish, too.

The reason people dress in revealing clothing is that they are looking for love. They think that their clothing will make them more appealing, attractive, and loveable.

So give them the love that they are looking for.

But remember, for a perfect stranger (the word “perfect” seems appropriate, doesn’t it?) to correct someone is beyond rude. It’s mean. It’s cruel. It’s NOT loving–“tough love” is for parents to use with children, not for strangers to use with other strangers.

Correcting a stranger about their appearance is just like those mean boys who bark at girls. It will NOT accomplish what the corrector wants to accomplish, and it will probably result in bad ends; e.g., the person will be so hurt that they will do something destructive, like say something rude right back at their tormentor or even hit them.

Try the “Mother Teresa” approach, and come back here in a few years and tell us how many people are now dressing modestly because of your kind and gentle influence.

This should be in a sticky for people to ad every time this issue comes up. And honestly, it applies to a great many things people rail about here.

I totally second this. I feel the same way, of course as a man. I was trying to logic it out while she was able to put it in a perfect real world context. God bless you, Cat. I think all Christians would do well to apply that kind of thought to this area. Heck, they would do well to apply this thinking to areas outside of clothing.

 

[L_piperatus]

Folks, please don’t start questioning whether bare shoulders and shorts/skirts above the knees are inappropriate for Mass… Of course they are inappropriate. That’s elementary. Please do an internet search if you don’t believe me. It’s not only Popes JPII and B16 who have forbidden this stuff in Rome and in the Vatican. It’s not only Fr. Dominic Mary in a church in Alabama, and on EWTN’s televised Mass. We had bishops and priests from Texas, Louisiana, California, Oregon, Arkansas, Alabama in the USA, from Mexico, as well as Italy, France, Ireland, Croatia in Europe, several cities in the Philippines, India, Sri Lanka in Asia, in addition to Brisbane Australia, and even a priest from Africa, giving the same instructions - all available on the internet. NO BARE SHOULDERS IN CHURCH. NO SHORTS ALLOWED. NO SKIRTS ABOVE THE KNEES.

Folks, do we really have to play this game every single time? Do I really have to post twenty separate articles to the same effect, in addition to what the Vatican has already said and in addition to that youtube video from EWTN’s Mass?

Can we please get back to Perpetual Adoration, and Perpetual Adoration chapels? Are the same shorts, bare shoulders, and skirts above the knee, which have been CLEARLY FORBIDDEN AS CHURCH ATTIRE by our Popes and bishops, somehow still acceptable in the Adoration chapel?