K
kesa82
Guest
As far back as I can remember, age 4 or 5, I have assumed that God existed and that there was an afterlife. And I always assumed that God and the dead could literally read our minds, and look into our hearts as if looking through a clear pane of glass. And that even if a person just died this morning, they could access our entire past in some form alike our reading a history book, or a biography.
So, since I was 4 or 5, I have, when thinking, habitually at the same time been talking to God and to the dead.
For example, when I think to myself, " I like her " I am at the same time speaking to God and Joan of Arc, etc., etc. , and saying , " I like her."
And I assume that even if they aren’t paying attention at the moment, or in some cases not even dead yet ( ! ) at some point in the future they will " hear " everything I said / thought.
I am often alone, so , sometimes I talk to God or Joan of Arc or a dozen deceased all day long.
Is this unusual?
Or worse, is it even somehow un-Christian / un- Catholic?
Because it does appear to me that others, many , many others, are not doing the same thing.
Do you not think that God, Mary, the saints, or the general “passed on " casually liscen in on your thoughts habitually?
For one thing, a minor detail, I tend to refer to the dead in the present tense. And when I do, people look at me like I’m mad.
So I explain to them that I think the dead are very much alive, and can hear everything we think, and see everything we do.
And then they STILL look at me like I’m off my rocker!
Is it that people pretend to believe in God and life after death but really don’t? Am I imagining their response?
Or is it that they believe something very different to what I have described?
If so, then what?
I really wonder…
Don’t get me wrong, I see good reason for formalized, ritualized prayer.
Indeed, I love praying the rosary.
But still, when you think, don’t you think you are thinking to someone or many someones besides just yourself?
And what’s this stuff about talking to yourself, some kind of inside joke? You don’t talk to yourself? You don’t think?
I don’t know of any way to keep myself from thinking without some serious sedative drugs.
Some of these subtle things really stump me.
I’ll mention just one more example - I like to study criminal justice issues, but maybe to say that I “like” it is something of a misnomer.
Because I happen to believe that only Jesus and Mary were perfect humans. So I assume that the rest of us are up to our necks in blood and filth.
And when I turn to the Bible - perhaps I am completely misreading it - I see nothing to contradict that assumption. It does NOT seem to say ANYWHERE " well, half of you, or one-third of you, or one- one-hundredth of you are perfectly fine and dandy, so you can quit reading this and go about your buisiness.”
So it really puzzles me, and then consequently disturbes me greatly emotionally, when people , with every appearance of casual ease, throw around words like " criminal ".
( granted, yes I do make distinctions myself, for example I don’t think anyone has heard me say a good word about police in ten years… but then I don’t casually suggest torturing police either. )
Granted, one must allow that people are sometimes very good actors.
But even taking that into account, it is hard to believe so many people could appear so relazed in speaking in such a manner if they actually believed that there were observers in heaven who KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST and know that what you are saying out loud simply isn’t true to your own knowledge.
I know these questions are in some ways vague or complex, but I would appreciate any feedback.
So, since I was 4 or 5, I have, when thinking, habitually at the same time been talking to God and to the dead.
For example, when I think to myself, " I like her " I am at the same time speaking to God and Joan of Arc, etc., etc. , and saying , " I like her."
And I assume that even if they aren’t paying attention at the moment, or in some cases not even dead yet ( ! ) at some point in the future they will " hear " everything I said / thought.
I am often alone, so , sometimes I talk to God or Joan of Arc or a dozen deceased all day long.
Is this unusual?
Or worse, is it even somehow un-Christian / un- Catholic?
Because it does appear to me that others, many , many others, are not doing the same thing.
Do you not think that God, Mary, the saints, or the general “passed on " casually liscen in on your thoughts habitually?
For one thing, a minor detail, I tend to refer to the dead in the present tense. And when I do, people look at me like I’m mad.
So I explain to them that I think the dead are very much alive, and can hear everything we think, and see everything we do.
And then they STILL look at me like I’m off my rocker!
Is it that people pretend to believe in God and life after death but really don’t? Am I imagining their response?
Or is it that they believe something very different to what I have described?
If so, then what?
I really wonder…
Don’t get me wrong, I see good reason for formalized, ritualized prayer.
Indeed, I love praying the rosary.
But still, when you think, don’t you think you are thinking to someone or many someones besides just yourself?
And what’s this stuff about talking to yourself, some kind of inside joke? You don’t talk to yourself? You don’t think?
I don’t know of any way to keep myself from thinking without some serious sedative drugs.
Some of these subtle things really stump me.
I’ll mention just one more example - I like to study criminal justice issues, but maybe to say that I “like” it is something of a misnomer.
Because I happen to believe that only Jesus and Mary were perfect humans. So I assume that the rest of us are up to our necks in blood and filth.
And when I turn to the Bible - perhaps I am completely misreading it - I see nothing to contradict that assumption. It does NOT seem to say ANYWHERE " well, half of you, or one-third of you, or one- one-hundredth of you are perfectly fine and dandy, so you can quit reading this and go about your buisiness.”
So it really puzzles me, and then consequently disturbes me greatly emotionally, when people , with every appearance of casual ease, throw around words like " criminal ".
( granted, yes I do make distinctions myself, for example I don’t think anyone has heard me say a good word about police in ten years… but then I don’t casually suggest torturing police either. )
Granted, one must allow that people are sometimes very good actors.
But even taking that into account, it is hard to believe so many people could appear so relazed in speaking in such a manner if they actually believed that there were observers in heaven who KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR PAST and know that what you are saying out loud simply isn’t true to your own knowledge.
I know these questions are in some ways vague or complex, but I would appreciate any feedback.
