It looks like there’s something I missed before first posting.
Feanaro's Wife:
I’m hoping Chevalier will contribute to this thread because he seems to know quite a bit about technical personality types a la Myers Briggs etc. That is what I’m wondering about.
Thank you.
I think it’s a fun matter to delve into… For some reason I just like it.
I know that we all have a responsibility to better ourselves and reach for holiness. Hard to do that if we don’t change our selfish. lazy, or unreasonable ways. But I’m wondering about the ways in which we actually think. If I am primarily a logical thinker and a friend is primarily an emotional thinker, should we try and change how we think to better communicate?
Hmm… Nope, I think not. Rather find out how the other person thinks (I first wrote “works”, so perhaps I’m a bit more analytical than I had thought
) and understand that, also, perhaps, realise the way we think isn’t the only way and we aren’t automatically correct, especially as it comes to the approach rather than the results. While good is good and evil is evil, many perceptions are sometimes valid and various ways of thinking are valid as well. Even scientific methods have to fight for legitimacy because some academics don’t accept others’ methods of work.
it brings to mind the wife who gets mad when hubby loads the dishwasher the “wrong” way or when the kids rake the leaves differently than she does etc. Or the man who gets irate because his son put the lawnmower away but it’s crooked. You know, freaky behavior
Yeah…I don’t like that. I can even actually like it (in the sense of endearment) if it’s not violent, angry, overly guilt-inducing. But when it’s the only right way and a major transgression on my part that I didn’t do it in that exact way… Come on, courts of law don’t get so anal about formalities.
Personally I don’t think perfectionism is all bad, like I mentioned in a previous post. In some ways it can be a great asset…
Humility helps, I suppose.
Don’t know, good will, smile, positive attitude. Can get you a long way.
Again, I’m asking about specific personality traits, not bad habits or poor skills. I don’t know enough about the topic to explain as well as I’d like but I’m hoping you can see what I mean.
I can. I don’t think I’d decide to marry someone who differed in some substantial ways likely preventing normal cohabitation. But incompatibility would have to be something severe in order to overshadow mutual love and respect. And without mutual love and respect, it’s not worth it anyway. I think we need to stop expecting the other to be perfect and then it’ll be fine. If it’s anything major, it likely gets “filtered” before marriage.
I suppose my problem wouldn’t be incompatibility in the sense of not matching traits, but rather a lacking connection. If a trait doesn’t have a moral component, I don’t really mind it to such an extent, though exceptions exist. I don’t know… we need to love people as they are, without their being perfect. Then I guess it’ll work out, unless we keep thinking we’re entitled to something better and we’re getting stuck with second-rated goods. I think even from a pragmatic view, it’s better to start working on that marriage. After all, no goodness is ever wasted. God will not abandon those who try to be the best they can to their husbands or wives. Relationships have to be worked on. They don’t come out of the box (well, normally at least, and probably those still develop further over time anyway). Once there is a wife or husband, it makes the best sense to stop thinking whether it’s a good one, but instead focus on making it good. Umm… without tyranny and the bad kind of perfectionism.
Perhaps being a bit laid back might help.
