Personality types, control freaks, perfectionists, and MARRIAGE

[chevalier]

Oooh, my favourite topic has been revived.

Are Control Freaks, Perfectionists and KIA’s similar?

Probably similar annoyance factors. In outside reception:

Control Freaks: Everything must be under control. Theirs. Or else they freak out.

Perfectionists: Everything must be perfect - which often means it must be under control. Because it must be perfect. Otherwise they can’t live.

Know it Alls: They know everything the best. Means they have the answers. That’s not the same as control, but there’s an obvious similarity.

Now, to the defence of Know it Alls, some people have vast amounts of knowledge. They may be not very sensitive in spreading it around and they may be able to make others feel somewhat silly at times. However, imagine for a while how hard it must be to shut up for the sake of not being annoying when you see people disseminate and accept inaccurate information, spread theories which don’t hold together, do things not the way they are intended to be done and then complain, engage in pointless effort. You just want to tell them how to do it right. Plain and simple.

 

[PaulinVA]

My wife and I are both perfectionists.

I would define that as someone who thinks that this group of things must be done absolutely right every time or the world will stand still.

It’s funny, because she thinks different things are important than I do. At first, this caused great tension, until we realized how funny it was. Now, we allocate the task to the perfectionist who cares about the task, and we get double the things done with a perfectionist touch.

Controlling types? My parents are very controlling. Gets old after a while.

 

[gardenswithkids]

Just finished the book called

***Personality Plus for Couples ***

Has anyone else read this? Turns out I am a Melancholy and hubby is a near equal combination of 3 different types (Melancholy, Phlegmatic, and Choleric) … no wonder he is so difficult to read sometimes!!! It’s like I’m married to 3 different people and I never know which one will respond…

I haven’t read that book, but I’ve read several others based on those same basic four temperaments/personalities. I figured a long time ago based on your posts, Malia, that you’re “melacholic” .

I don’t know your husband, but from what I have read of temperaments, people may have combinations, but it narrows down to one or two primary temperaments–and not three or four. One book wrote something like “only a phlegmatic can test equal on all four.” Phlegmatics are easy-going, people pleasers, and they usually adapt to learn other behaviors–making it possible for them to show mixed results on personality tests.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

I haven’t read that book, but I’ve read several others based on those same basic four temperaments/personalities. I figured a long time ago based on your posts, Malia, that you’re “melacholic” .

I don’t know your husband, but from what I have read of temperaments, people may have combinations, but they narrows down to one or two primary temperaments–and not three or four. One book wrote something like “only a phlegmatic can test equal on all four.” Phlegmatics are easy-going, people pleasers, and they usually adapt to learn other behaviors–making it possible for them to show mixed results on personality tests.

**I can’t explain the results but he tested near equal for phlegmatic, melancholy and choleric. Not a drop of sanguine in him. He is not a true phlegmatic though, we both agree on that. I would love to look into the issue further though because it is tough when none stand out as his dominant traits:shrug:

malia**

 

[KCT]

The Personality Plus books are great.

The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Larraine Bennett is sort of a Catholic version of the PP books.

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

The Personality Plus books are great.

The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Larraine Bennett is sort of a Catholic version of the PP books.

**
Yeah, I heard of that one too but my local library doesn’t have it… I’ll have to see if they’ll order it:thumbsup:

Malia**