Pew Pet Peeve

[Richard320]

A vent.

It’s long been one of my pet peeves that people sit on the very end of the pews so no one else can get in. It happened again this morning at Mass. My wife and I usually sit in the same place every week, some weeks one pew further back, sometimes even further if there’s something special that has the first rows blocked. We don’t freak if someone is in “our” spot. (That can be another thread some day) But today we arrived, our usual pew had one guy at one end, and a couple at the other end, and over twenty feet in between was empty. The people on the end were kneeling, so we couldn’t just edge past them. So we slid in the pew behind, and moved as far in as we could.

The church filled up. Our pew had five groups in it. The pew ahead was still blocked by the end sitters. Time for the collection. The baskets come. Since our pew was full, it whisked right down the row. The pew ahead got the basket, but it was too far to hand the basket to the neighbor at the distant end, so they handed it back a row, disrupting the orderly movement. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends? We always sit in the center, even if the pew was empty when we arrived. That way the later arrivals can just slide right in, from either end, with no commotion.

And on a related note, why won’t people slide over a little? We had a comfortable gap between us and the neighbor to our right one week, and a family arrived a bit late and came in from our left. They were packed like sardines, so I nudged my wife and we slid over a couple feet. Now my wife was going to be sharing a kneeler with her neighbors, not with me. But who cares? The late arrivals were dumbstruck that we slid over for them! The woman’s face went like this, literally: :bigyikes: she shouldn’t have been amazed, it’s just common courtesy, if not just common sense.

Vent over.

 

[PerfectTiming]

Yup. Buses, trains, church pews, it’s so annoying.

 

[LillyandRosco]

Well I have to admit that I am one that likes to sit at the end in the middle of the church…though I will scoot in if someone wants me to. I am short and if I sit in the middle, I find it hard to see. If I don’t see, my mind tends to wonder away from church a bit easier than if I can see what is going on. I guess I could sit way up front instead of my normal second or third row, but that would feel too awkward to me. As I said, if someone wanted in I am more than glad to let them in or have scooted in as well…

 

[Anna_Claire]

I prefer an end by the middle aisle because I can see better. My husband knows this and goes in first. When someone else arrives I stand and they move past me BUT I would not make a big deal if I sensed that they wanted me to push in. I would. I don’t own the pew.

 

[Gordon_Sims]

This is something that drives me nuts as well. We went to one Mass when my wife was very (and very obviously) pregnant with our youngest. Looking from the entrance of the church, it was pretty amusing because on both sides of the church you had the ends filled, but big gaps right down the center. I forget the occasion (I’m thinking it was some school function), but we were unable to find a seat because none of the end-sitters would move in or even just get up to let us scoot to the middle, even though I was kindly pointing out just how much space there was and that my wife was 8 months pregnant. I ended up having to get an usher, and he asked at least 5 people to scoot in before someone finally did.

We were at one parish once where, before Mass started, the priest came out and told everybody that we’re all Catholics and all one family and we shouldn’t be afraid to scoot in and take up the empty spaces. He had to repeat himself and be a little more direct, but everyone finally did scoot in so that there was room for everyone. Shockingly, nobody fell over dead, and lightning didn’t strike. It would be nice if more priests took that approach.

With that said, I’m one who prefers to sit on the end if I have the baby with me, but only so it’s easier to get up and take her in back if needed. If my wife stays home with the baby, I don’t care where I sit, although I start out on the end out of habit. Two weeks ago, Mass was even more crowded than usual. I was there alone and when a family of four walked past looking for a place to sit, I scooted to the middle and motioned for them to take the spots I’d freed up. They gave me a look like I was crazy and ended up sitting in the open pews in the middle (i.e. the “no man’s land” where hardly anybody ever sits because you have to cross the aisle to get to the kneelers).

 

[Castello]

I have to sit in the end of a pew because I have SEVERE claustrophobia. I will have a panic attack if I am closed in.

When someone wants in, I step out, let them inside and sit back down at the end of the pew. If there are no ends available, I will stand at the back of Church or even in the vestibule.

 

[figs]

well, we don’t seem to have the problem of scooting over our allowing one to pass at our parish but I CAN remember clearly that everyone seems to love to pack in the back pews.
Once, while sitting in the back pews, I had slid all the way against a column. Late commers “slid in” while I was kneeling in Mass without my notice. Do you know what its like to half sit on some woman’s lap? What a ka-fuffle! I thought… what the??? Did she not expect me to sit back down? LOL Sheesh
I sit up in the front now, by a column, and no threat of late commers attempting to slide in

 

[Phemie]

If someone comes in early so that they can sit at the end of the pew, I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to move because you come later. OTOH, they should immediately stand and let you go past them to where there is free seating.

Sadly, that is rarely an issue in my parish where full pews are not the norm except at the Family Mass on Christmas Eve. Also, the pews are not that big, they accommodate at most 6 people from end to end.

 

[KSB]

I’ve been one of those “end of the pew” offenders. I usually get to Mass five minutes before it starts, so I pick I a pew that’s empty and sit on the end. I’m fairly friendly but still a little shy, and NOT a people-hater, but I don’t like to be jammed in the middle of the pew with unfamiliar people around me. I feel a little claustrophobic.

My pet peeve is when people get there after Mass starts, then make me move over! But, as someone else pointed out, it’s not my pew, so I move.

However, lately, I’ve decided to work on my fear of sitting in the middle of people I don’t know, and so when I sit in an empty pew, I slide down to the middle. And I’m surviving, and actually, I like it better because then I don’t have to be disturbed after Mass starts.

 

[jmcrae]

I have to sit in the end of a pew because I have SEVERE claustrophobia. I will have a panic attack if I am closed in.

It seems as if 95% of Catholics have this heart-rending disability. I always wonder how you all cope with going to the bathroom, and riding in a car, and and being at work all day.

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends?

Maybe that many people really are mentally ill?

I sat today with a lady who really does have mental health issues (her caregivers don’t let her get near a computer, poor dear), and she had no problem letting me into the pew - she very politely got up, stepped out, and allowed me to get in to the centre of the pew. She also let me past when i wanted to get out at the end of Mass; she didn’t just sit there and ignore me.

We always sit in the center, even if the pew was empty when we arrived. That way the later arrivals can just slide right in, from either end, with no commotion.

I do the same - that way, everyone can get in, and nobody is disturbed while praying before Mass. it seems like common sense, to me.

 

[Operalan]

All of my reasons for sitting on the end are also there. We have a fairly large family–I let my family in first and then I sit on the end. I’m very tall and if I’m in the middle, I tend to block people’s “view”. I almost get a bit claustrophobic (or at least edgy), if I’m in the middle of the row. With being tall, I feel a little less closed in if I’m on an end. When I’m on the road and away from the family, I have no problem with getting up and letting those who arrive late into the pew to go towards the middle. I would just simply suggest that you arrive at Mass earlier and then this won’t be a problem. The extra time for prayer is great too. I truly dislike the times when we’re running late and don’t have the time to take some breaths and calm down before the Mass begins.

 

[Pfaffenhoffen]

A vent.

It’s long been one of my pet peeves that people sit on the very end of the pews so no one else can get in. It happened again this morning at Mass. My wife and I usually sit in the same place every week, some weeks one pew further back, sometimes even further if there’s something special that has the first rows blocked. We don’t freak if someone is in “our” spot. (That can be another thread some day) But today we arrived, our usual pew had one guy at one end, and a couple at the other end, and over twenty feet in between was empty. The people on the end were kneeling, so we couldn’t just edge past them. So we slid in the pew behind, and moved as far in as we could.

The church filled up. Our pew had five groups in it. The pew ahead was still blocked by the end sitters. Time for the collection. The baskets come. Since our pew was full, it whisked right down the row. The pew ahead got the basket, but it was too far to hand the basket to the neighbor at the distant end, so they handed it back a row, disrupting the orderly movement. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends? We always sit in the center, even if the pew was empty when we arrived. That way the later arrivals can just slide right in, from either end, with no commotion.

And on a related note, why won’t people slide over a little? We had a comfortable gap between us and the neighbor to our right one week, and a family arrived a bit late and came in from our left. They were packed like sardines, so I nudged my wife and we slid over a couple feet. Now my wife was going to be sharing a kneeler with her neighbors, not with me. But who cares? The late arrivals were dumbstruck that we slid over for them! The woman’s face went like this, literally: :bigyikes: she shouldn’t have been amazed, it’s just common courtesy, if not just common sense.

Vent over.

No thinking on others.
A Volvo executive was driving his Brazilian counterpart to the Factory. He parked at the entrance of the Parking lot. The Brazilian asked: “There are so many spaces, why don’t you park closer to the Factory ?!” - “No,” -said the Swedish, “we have time, so i let the places closer to the factory to those who have less times for they arrive just in time.”

The solution for that it is simple. you simply say to the fellow: “Sorry, it is better to sit closer to center so that we wont bother you in passing through”. If he does not accept, a few kicks on purpose will make him understand that it is a bad idea to sit there.

Not Christian but efficient…

 

[Jeanne_S]

Hmmm.My husband likes to sit on the end because,often times he needs to use the restroom(you know that pesky prostrate issue you guys deal with) better than climbing over people.Also,the way I see,we get there twenty minutes before Mass.We should not have to move in to accommodate those who choose to arrive at the last minute.

 

[Nigel7]

A vent.

It’s long been one of my pet peeves that people sit on the very end of the pews,

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends?

If someone is in a state of mortal sin and honoring the sanctity of the blessed sacrament by NOT taking communion then they will often sit near the isle so that they can easily stand and let people past who ARE receiving communion, also making it so much easier for those who’ve received the sacrament to re-enter the pew afterwards.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m a candidate awaiting confirmation and so always sit on the isle to make things go more smoothly for everyone during their time of communion with the Lord. Then I can kneel and pray while they’re receiving and not be in the way as they re-enter from the other end afterwards.

You complain, but in some cases then they may be doing everyone a favor by not making people climb over them to get to the communion line, and then climb over them again to get back into the pew afterwards.

Maybe a little more leniency and less judgment from you on these people who sit on the isle, since they are often honoring the body and blood of Christ by not taking communion in an unworthy manner, while also making things easier for those who are taking communion.
[edited]

 

[Luna_Lovecraft]

If someone comes in early so that they can sit at the end of the pew, I don’t think it’s fair to expect them to move because you come later. OTOH, they should immediately stand and let you go past them to where there is free seating.

This. Thank you.

Luna

 

[BettyBoop416]

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends?

My non-Catholic husband usually attends mass with me. Since he does not go up for communion he prefers sitting on one end or the other so that he has to get up only once to let others by. As for myself, it’s just a personal preference. If I arrive 30 minutes early I don’t feel obligated to move in to accommodate someone who tries to sneak in during the first reading. They can crawl over. Unless of course it’s an elderly person, a pregnant woman, or someone else with mobility issues. I’ll gladly give up my spot if there is a legitimate need.

Unless it’s this guy trying to get in:

It seems as if 95% of Catholics have this heart-rending disability. I always wonder how you all cope with going to the bathroom, and riding in a car, and and being at work all day.

Maybe that many people really are mentally ill?

Someone with that attitude can stand out in the rain for all I care.

 

[figs]

…
I even heard a girl after mass last night laughing with her friends about how she’d taken the blessed sacrament out of her mouth after receiving and thrown it on the floor near where she was seated. So many offenses happening during this Lenten season.

wow! I hope you, at the very least, said something to the priest before you left!

 

[opus101]

A vent.

WHY do people insist on sitting on the ends? We always sit in the center, even if the pew was empty when we arrived. That way the later arrivals can just slide right in, from either end, with no commotion.

I agree that this can be frustrating, but sometimes people have really good reasons for doing so. For instance, I know someone who has a bad ankle and knee, and it gets extremely stiff if she doesn’t have room to stretch it out now and then when sitting. Also, for a number of reasons ( arthritis, size, etc.), some people are unable to climb or squeeze past others to get into communion line (past those who are not going). And some have bladder incontinence or urgency, and when they have to slip out to use the restroom, they don’t want to make a big deal of it by squeezing over a bunch of people And some might have to leave immediatley after Mass ( to tend to a sick relative at home, get to work at a hospital, etc.).

 

[jmcrae]

I agree that this can be frustrating, but sometimes people have really good reasons for doing so.

Not the entire congregation, surely.

The majority of it is pure thoughtlessness, at best.

Some people have already admitted that they won’t move or get out of the way because they feel the need to punish people for wanting to sit down in “their” pew.

 

[april32010]

If you want to rant then maybe rant about those who knowingly take communion in an unworthy manner, without having gone to confession first, thereby desecrating the body of Christ through their reception of the blessed sacrament. I’ve noticed that these offenses appear to be many during Lent. I’ve been saddened this season to see how many people are taking communion who obviously should not (since they obviously have no idea what they are doing during mass and during communion).

you know who has been to confession and who hasn’t ? really?you have some kind of special insight into other’s soul?you should offer your services to your parish’s pastor so as to put a stop to these desecrations .