Pictures of Gay Wedding

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lakotak

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I really don’t know where to ask this question, so please move it if this is not the right place.

A co-worker of mine just “married” his male significant other and will probably be showing some of us the pictures. In my area there are only the three of us. Any suggestions as to how I tactfully decline to look at them as this is offensive to me. I like him, but not what he has done. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks,
 
lakotak said:
I really don’t know where to ask this question, so please move it if this is not the right place.

A co-worker of mine just “married” his male significant other and will probably be showing some of us the pictures. In my area there are only the three of us. Any suggestions as to how I tactfully decline to look at them as this is offensive to me. I like him, but not what he has done. Any suggestions would be helpful. Thanks,
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how important are smooth working relations with him?
 
Why would any co-worker, “gay” or straight be showing off pictures of their wedding at work? Personally, I could care less of seeing a co-worker’s wedding pictures and didn’t bring mine to work to show off when I got hitched and IMO, anyone who does screams of an “attention whore.”

Tell him dude, your pictures are none of my business.
 
I don’t think I would have any problem just saying that I don’t think I can look at them right now, and just walk away. If he persists, I persist.

That is exactly what I would do.
 
Fairwinds said:
how important are smooth working relations with him?
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We interact very often with each other. He sits right outside my office and we are a team.
I don’t want to cause ripples, if I don’t really have to.
 
lakotak said:
We interact very often with each other. He sits right outside my office and we are a team.
I don’t want to cause ripples, if I don’t really have to.
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look at the pix, force a sincere-looking smile and be done with it.
 
I’d look at whatever was forcibly shoved under my nose and make some innocuous comment like, “Is this your sister from Arizona?” or “Towering cakes with goldfish!” or whatever. I’d omit any comment that could not be made sincerely. Typically there is a selection of family photos included that you can focus your gaze and remarks upon.
 
I thought the church did condem a man having sex with a man. (he is not showing you pictures of that.)

Also the man is happy and love thy neighbours. Also Jesus ate with those that that gathered taxes which where hated. Why not be a little bit like Jesus and show how big your heart is and just accept it, and pray for him. Since prayer for someone is what every catholic seems to do.

I think even Jesus said you should turn the other cheeck so turn the other cheeck.
 
Meemai said:
**I thought the church did condem a man having sex with a man. (he is not showing you pictures of that.)
**
Also the man is happy and love thy neighbours. Also Jesus ate with those that that gathered taxes which where hated. Why not be a little bit like Jesus and show how big your heart is and just accept it, and pray for him. Since prayer for someone is what every catholic seems to do.

I think even Jesus said you should turn the other cheeck so turn the other cheeck.
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No, but I am sure they will include all the kissing at the reception.
 
lakotak said:
No, but I am sure they will include all the kissing at the reception.
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Then be like Jesus and turn the other cheeck my man. You don’t want to sabotage your work-relations. And I am pretty sure the kissing might be left since it’s not a church-wedding? I believe marrying in front of the government has no you may kiss the bridegroom. But I could be wrong here.

Anyways you could at least pretend you looked and tell him you wish him well. Being gay is not a choice its a tendency that somehow exists… Animals also might have male on male sex.

I hope you find a place in your heart to forgive it all and just keep your contacts with that guy good. He might be gay but he obviously means no harm whatsoever.
 
garn9173 said:
Why would any co-worker, “gay” or straight be showing off pictures of their wedding at work? Personally, I could care less of seeing a co-worker’s wedding pictures and didn’t bring mine to work to show off when I got hitched and IMO, anyone who does screams of an “attention whore.”

Tell him dude, your pictures are none of my business.
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I agree.

Shouldn’t people at work, be well … working?? 🤷

Looking at wedding pictures isn’t working. It is looking a pictures. I imagine that your boss would agree that pictures are for after hours.
 
maryjk said:
I agree.

Shouldn’t people at work, be well … working?? 🤷

Looking at wedding pictures isn’t working. It is looking a pictures. I imagine that your boss would agree that pictures are for after hours.
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Yes shrug it at some more, it’s so so so bad to share your happiness with others. Obivously you do not go to marriage every day. It’s a special ocassion, when a child is born you also get pictures of the baby. Would you look at that or also say that it is ********?
 
This is why Catholics are going to run into some serious pressure in the coming years at the ramifications of gay marriage becoming “acceptable” and legal persist.

My gut reaction is that you should be polite but honest. Tell him that you respect him as a person, but that such things make you uncomfortable because of your beliefs. If he gives you a problem over that, tell him you do not appreciate him pressuring you over your beliefs, tell him that it’s inappropriate for the workplace. Further complications? Report to HR.
 
epiclotus said:
This is why Catholics are going to run into some serious pressure in the coming years at the ramifications of gay marriage becoming “acceptable” and legal persist.

My gut reaction is that you should be polite but honest. Tell him that you respect him as a person, but that such things make you uncomfortable because of your beliefs. If he gives you a problem over that, tell him you do not appreciate him pressuring you over your beliefs, tell him that it’s inappropriate for the workplace. Further complications? Report to HR.
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That is not really going to improve your work relationships.

Why not do what Jesus would do he’d turn the other cheeck? Can someone explain me this? Show greatness.
 
Meemai said:
That is not really going to improve your work relationships.

Why not do what Jesus would do he’d turn the other cheeck? Can someone explain me this? Show greatness.
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Perhaps not, but it clearly places him in the wrong for badgering a coworker to look at his non-work-related photos.
 
I would encourage you to extend grace and kindness to him and let him show you the pictures. He is a human being with dignity and should be treated with respect, even if you disagree with his choices. If he feels that you have been kind & respectful, what wonderful opportunities might you have in the future to be a witness to him?

But if he feels coldness from you now, I doubt you’ll be “approachable” to him in the future when he may ask for some spiritual guidance.

You don’t have to gush over every photo nor show your disdain. Simply look through them, notice that he looks a lot like brother, ask if the food was as good as it looks, etc. Small acts of kindness …
 
SonCatcher said:
Perhaps not, but it clearly places him in the wrong for badgering a coworker to look at his non-work-related photos.
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The OP isn’t even sure the photos will be shown at work – he said “probably.” That’s a far cry from an accusation of “badgering.”
 
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