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nickybr38
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The appearance of acceptance is the same as accepting. So no I don’t think you should ‘fake it’ to retain work relationships. People who are suggesting you should just pretend to be okay with it are putting WORK over TRUTH.
Nor do I think you should be unnecessarily rude.
“I’m sorry but at this time I’m not comfortable viewing your pictures. Thank you for the offer.”
Or something like that should suffice and if he REALLY gets his knickers in a twist over that it’s his problem, not yours.
Nor do I think you should be unnecessarily rude.
“I’m sorry but at this time I’m not comfortable viewing your pictures. Thank you for the offer.”
Or something like that should suffice and if he REALLY gets his knickers in a twist over that it’s his problem, not yours.
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Allegra
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Females do this all the time. When someone gets married, wedding pictures are expected at my work. If you don’t bring them, women say, “When are we going to get to see some pictures?”
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epiclotus
Guest
Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean you let your beliefs be trampled. It also doesn’t mean we have to put up with discrimination in the work place. Gay rights activists have been going on for years about equality, but seem willing to walk all over us when we say we disagree. If this coworker wants to push his lifestyle on his coworkers who don’t share his worldview, then he’s in the wrong. Telling someone that a particular action (showing pictures of a gay wedding) makes you uncomfortable is perfectly legit. If they pressure you or make the situation worse, they are also in the wrong. I’m not sure this is a case where turning the other cheek is applicable, depending on how the coworker responds to the initial rebuttal. I didn’t suggest bashing them publicly (which would be wrong of us), but using appropriate channels within a workplace to resolve a dispute. That’s what HR gets paid to do 
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Meemai
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Yup… And even if he did he means no harm… It’s not like looking at the pictures and making a nice comment means your sinning. Most posters in this topic are pretending like he is a lepper. Jesus talked to leppers.
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Allegra
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There’s an idea! When he starts to show them to people, turn away and look out the window.
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Meemai
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Turning the other cheek doesn’t mean you let your beliefs be trampled. It also doesn’t mean we have to put up with discrimination in the work place. Gay rights activists have been going on for years about equality, but seem willing to walk all over us when we say we disagree. If this coworker wants to push his lifestyle on his coworkers who don’t share his worldview, then he’s in the wrong. Telling someone that a particular action (showing pictures of a gay wedding) makes you uncomfortable is perfectly legit. If they pressure you or make the situation worse, they are also in the wrong. I’m not sure this is a case where turning the other cheek is applicable, depending on how the coworker responds to the initial rebuttal. I didn’t suggest bashing them publicly (which would be wrong of us), but using appropriate channels within a workplace to resolve a dispute. That’s what HR gets paid to do
How is looking at a picture of a gay wedding and making a nice humble comment going to have your beliefs trampled? Sorry but if that is all it takes to let your believe trampled you have no backbone at all. You can just look at it, it does not mean that by looking at making a nice comment your letting your beliefs trampled. Also what has happened to love thy neighbour?
-He is not pushing his lifestyle onto anyone he is not saying to become gay, he just is going to show the pictures of a wedding, damn how short sighted can you be?
What would you rather have us do? Banish gays? Put them into exile? Hang them? Send the inquesition after them? Imprisson them? Let them be beaten up by radical gay-haters? What would you rather see my man? Tell me your solution?
Yes it can make you uncomfortable but I have a personality disorder and even talking to humans is uncomfortable to me, do you think anyone cares? No.
No he does not get paid to do that but do you think Jesus would shun him? I think jesus would show greatness an we all aim to be like Jesus right? So we have to pray for our ennemies and forgive them and turn the other cheeck for them. But a simple gay man we should shun, we should ignore, we should hurt him by saying we don’t want to see the pictures?
If a catholic couple that had sex before mariage and got a kid before mariage showed pictures of the baby would you also refuse to look?I had to laugh about that. But in all seriousness would Jesus look at the wedding pictures?
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SonCatcher
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Pay attention to lines of discussion, please.
My comment was not to the OP but to Meemai, who objected to involving HR in the event that the OP’s coworker should become insistent. HR’s purpose, among other things, is to ensure smooth working relationships.
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Meemai
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It’s not like he’s taking pictures every day… I think even the boss would not mind, would look at the pictures wish him and his husband well and might even have a talk with the OP about work ethics. The boss is probably no christian and surely will not apreciate fights.
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HoldingGodsHand
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I don’t know, but I think that’s a good question. Of course I could only guess, but I think yes He would look, but I can’t think of what He might say? I just don’t know. Me personally, I would like at them and I’m not sure what I would say either. In the charity of my heart, I would look because it would make the co-worker happy, but I don’t think looking condones the lifestyle.
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VivienneJ
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I don’t know about where you are, but wherever I have worked there have been tea breaks and lunch breaks, and at those times pictures of significant events are often shared. Most places I’ve worked many of us have arrived before ‘official’ working hours and this would be another time to share photos.
A couple of years ago I had the chance to visit an old school friend of mine. I did know he was “married” to his partner. Yes they did show me the photos and it was possible to look at photos of something that was important to them without having to comment on the actual event.
There were opportunities to comment on the family members and co-workers pointed out to me. And, after all, I wanted them to look at my pictures of my grandchildren.
They may not, and you can flip past those quickly (I would skim that type of photo from any marriage). You don’t have to comment on every photo, nor study each one in great detail.
It sounds as though you work closely enough with this man to ‘need’ to at least glance at the photos. Tricky situations like this I often start off with a ‘Hail Mary’ to ask for a mother’s help with this difficulty.
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Meemai
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Speaking of condoning. Was it not Jesus that said something about throwing the first stone? Should we condone or judge him for what he chose to do? I think that’s not a call we humans should answer I think it’s something between him and God!
By looking you do not have to accept it but you will not hurt his feeling. As on what to say that is a though one. But you could even look and wish him well. There’s nothing wrong with wishing one well right?
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lakotak
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After I posted this question, I thought about this too. It is an interesting question.
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SonCatcher
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While most workplaces allow the occasional distraction, individual employees cannot be compelled to participate in the distraction. If someone declines, they must be allowed to return to their work without repercussion.
For the OP, probably the best way to decline is to say, “Thanks for the offer, but I have to get back on my project.”
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epiclotus
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It takes more backbone to stand up for your beliefs than to be silent among the crowd. As an old saying goes, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” We are called to be a light on a hill, the salt of the earth, and different from everyone else. I am not advocating confrontation, but one should not show approval toward sin. This is not an either/or situation. The OP doesn’t have to choose between looking at the pictures or calling down hellfire. The OP can satisfy both conscience and grace by politely turning down the offer of viewing the pictures. My further suggestions regarding subsequent actions stem from the observance that many gays portrayed in the media are, at the very least, pushy, especially when faced with those who differ from their view of acceptance. The OP should be prepared for that.
Except that he is. When one shows pictures of an event to another, there is an expectation of sharing the joy of the occasion with that individual, and through that joy, an affirmation of the event. We should not feel joy at seeing the holy institution of marriage turned into the masquerade of sin that it has become. Thus, the gay person is soliciting a particular response by the act. If he was keeping his lifestyle to himself, he would not be seeking to affirm his life through such solicitations.
Why the jump to extreme conclusions? We should not condone their actions, period. We should not support their sin, we should not accept their sin, and we should not sanction it through legal and social institutions. If they want to sin, we can still be kind and charitable to the person, but we do not have see what they do as “normal” or treat it as such.
Honestly, perhaps you should seek therapy.
A baby born from a sinful act is not intrinsically evil. We do not have condone sinful instances of sex to appreciate that God has still brought a new life into the world.
Also, I do not think I am qualified to speak for Jesus specifically. I look at the examples he left, such as the woman caught in adultery. He did not condemn her, but he did not condone further sin.
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Meemai
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In theory yes, but I don’t think a boss would want any religion in his workplace with all due respect. The workplace is also not a place for religion, at least I don’t think your allowed to go pray a rosary under work time and stuff like that.
I know a christian that works together with a muslim, and they both respect each other, it can be like this also! Show respect be humble turn the other cheeck and follow Jesus.
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Michael57
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Does he know that you are a devout Catholic?
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lakotak
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Yes, a Hail Mary or prayer to the Holy Spirit is certainly in order. The thing that gets me is He usually takes all his conversation outside of the office door. He sits right out side of my office and He made sure that I knew he was going to get married on 6/21. This same co worker went in to my supervisor because he overheard a conversation between me and my roommate on issues against abortion. We were sitting in the open at that time. I did not have an office. He never announced to us that he was “getting married”. This is why I hope he does not bring these pictures. It is going to be awkward.
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lakotak
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Yes, he does.
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RoseMary131
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Everyone has boundaries… a point where they are not comfortable.
Sometimes it helps if we practice saying “No”. We don’t have to let someone cross the boundary that we feel uncomfortable being crossed.
Maybe he won’t even offer to show you the pictures.
You can practice in the mirror saying,“No” or “No, thank you” if he asks if you would like to see them.
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