Pictures of Gay Wedding

[mek42]

I don’t have advice it seems like the OP is hosed either way. They believe themselves to commit scandal if they look at the pictures and share in a basic human emotion of joy. On the other hand, they are very likely to be perceived as unloving to their neighbor and thus commit scandal by most ways of not looking.

Could the OP maybe take personal time on the day the pictures show up after learning they are there but before getting involved? Wouldn’t his look bad down the road? If asked by a boss could the OP say they’re not comfy with gay marriage but also didn’t want to disrupt morale?

 

[epiclotus]

As I reflect on Matthew 5:11, where we are called blessed whenever someone persecutes us, I think that may be our solace as we stand up for our faith. I do not believe we should necessarily seek or unduly provoke persecution, but it is an expected part of following Jesus. Those of us that live in Western societies have rarely had to face social stigmas for our beliefs, but that is rapidly changing in many circles.

I do take great comfort from the fact that we are not alone in our struggles. There are a great many Christians in this nation who oppose gay marriage, and I don’t think the voice of opposition will ever be silenced.

 

[HoldingGodsHand]

I find most catholics and christians really bad to be focusing on gay topics this much. Gays shouldn’t be shunned they are born that way. It’s stupid to say that being gay is in your own hand. Because for all I could know I could have been born gay.

!

I didn’t mean Catholics & Christians when I said why focus so much on homosexuality. I meant everyone in general, society, the media and etc. Why can’t we all just live our lives with our own beliefs without being accused or labeled because we don’t agree with others beliefs. I hate the fact that if you are Catholic you will most likely be perceived as being hateful because you don’t believe in traditional marriage etc, or if you’re pro life you will be perceived as anti-woman etc etc.and on and on. And you can’t label this group or that group, but it’s ok to label other groups. I guess maybe I just need to be stronger, particularly in my faith. Like I said, I would look at the pictures as a kind gesture to the coworker, but I don’t know what I’d say about them. If the OP doesn’t want to look at them than I say don’t, but OP should not be judged for deciding not to see them. It’s not fair to say “don’t judge this person but it’s ok to judge that person”. Though I’ve only been practicing my faith for 2 yrs I’ve been Caholic my whole life. I went to Catholic school and I never once remember being taught to hate anyone, including gay people. Never was I ever taught to hate or look down on another for any reason, and I don’t. I’m not perfect either, but everyday I try to be a little better than yesterday. My focus is on God because I know He will lead me in the right direction. My last advice to the OP about this is to pray and listen to God in your heart. He’ll guide you, right?

 

[mdgspencer]

There are different ways of speaking to him.
I don’t think there is a reason for evangelizing someone that won’t listen. All you would do would create conflict, without a reason for it.
Personally, I would just recall that I needed to be elsewhere if he pulled out photos, and go elsewhere.
Some of the other posts though provide some possible ideas. Looking at the photos without showing approval? Perhaps.
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says homosexual acts are acts of grave depravity. “Under no circumstances can they to be approved.” (no. 2357)
But I don’t think this means you must strike out at him. Just that it seems better for you not to seem approving.

 

[Meemai]

I’m not sarcastic. I believe now that you should face this fearlessly, regardless of the consequences. if we can’t draw a line in the sand about wedding pictures, we’re Doomed.

Yes that’s right, your right. Fight the full fight, or don’t fight at all.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

I’m not sarcastic. I believe now that you should face this fearlessly, regardless of the consequences. if we can’t draw a line in the sand about wedding pictures, we’re Doomed.

Is there anything you believe in worth standing up for? If yes, how do you decide what it is? So you don’t think this is a big deal. What is a big deal then? What is worth making a sacrifice for and standing up for the truth even if it might get you into trouble? God expects us to be faithful in small things as well. The OP is facing an uncomfortable situation at work, that has nothing to do with work but is a private matter of a colleague. People shouldn’t be pressured into taking part in other’s private matters, but this is now reality with the gay craze.

 

[Meemai]

Is there anything you believe in worth standing up for? If yes, how do you decide what it is? So you don’t think this is a big deal. What is a big deal then? What is worth making a sacrifice for and standing up for the truth even if it might get you into trouble? God expects us to be faithful in small things as well. The OP is facing an uncomfortable situation at work, that has nothing to do with work but is a private matter of a colleague. People shouldn’t be pressured into taking part in other’s private matters, but this is now reality with the gay craze.

IF you really feel uncomfortable about looking and do not want to accept the gay craze. You should stand up tell him he’s a sinner and should stop sinning by becomming chaste with his partner.

It will get you in trouble but then again it is what he stands for. By not doing that he would not stand up for his own beliefs.

As for others private matter? Surely there’s a forum here where people ask you to pray for them which might also been seen as pressuring someone in taking part of they’re private matters. But they ain’t gay and are catholics so it is alright when they do it right?

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

IF you really feel uncomfortable about looking and do not want to accept the gay craze. You should stand up tell him he’s a sinner and should stop sinning by becomming chaste with his partner.

It will get you in trouble but then again it is what he stands for. By not doing that he would not stand up for his own beliefs.

As for others private matter? Surely there’s a forum here where people ask you to pray for them which might also been seen as pressuring someone in taking part of they’re private matters. But they ain’t gay and are catholics so it is alright when they do it right?

I’m sorry to say you are making no sense. At all.

There is just one thing worth responding to in your post, and that is that the OP is under no obligation whatsoever to point the finger at the guy and call him a sinner and tell him what to do.

 

[Meemai]

I’m sorry to say you are making no sense. At all.

There is just one thing worth responding to in your post, and that is that the OP is under no obligation whatsoever to point the finger at the guy and call him a sinner and tell him what to do.

If he can’t do that, then he can alo just look at the picture. Because his whole problem is that the person in question is a sinner and he does not want to look at a sinners wedding.

Have a nice day.

 

[RoseMary131]

Lakotak,

In a class I’m taking, there is a lesson on “boundaries” - invisible barrier of our personal “space” either: physical, emotional, values, morals. “We are allowed to assert ourselves when someone crosses the boundary.”

class notes:
“Become comfortable with my boundaries. They are not right or wrong. They are how we truly feel. Make our boundaries clear. If someone crosses our boundaries - re-establish the boundary - re-assert ourselves. For someone to violate our boundaries - we have to “let them”. Its on us to stand-up for our boundaries. We should honor the boundaries of others.”

I think this is the situation you find yourself. You have a moral and values boundaries against wanting to view “wedding” pictures of a same sex couple. So, you gently express that you do not want to view the pictures with a simple “No, thank you.” (You can practice saying, “No, thank you” in the mirror.)

If you feel you should explain - or want to explain- at some time - you can express that you are uncomfortable with the pictures and ask that the co-worker “respect your feelings” of being uncomfortable.

How Do I Communicate My Boundaries to Other People:

…I am uncomfortable - please Respect my feelings.

…This is hard for me to say… but I am uncomfortable…

…I understand your point of view… but

…I’d rather not…

…I’d prefer not to…

…I guess we see it (marriage) differently

… Thank you for understanding

We are not called to allow others to push us past any of our boundaries.

May you find peace knowing you can say “No, thank you.”

 

[nickybr38]

OP a few last words of advice:

1. I’d be more concerned with keeping your relationship with God right. So many on this thread seem far more concerned with not ruffling feathers.
2. IF you refuse to look at the pictures I would NOT give a reason why and I would be consistent. I wouldn’t look at anyone else’s wedding pictures (hetero or not). This will avoid further offence. You are under no obligation to view a coworkers wedding photos.
3. Be KIND when you refuse to look. Smile, gently say: “I’m sorry but I’d rather not see the pictures.”
4. Be prepared for fallout but don’t be afraid of it. If we cannot live according to our beliefs what’s the point of being in a free country? You are not imposing on HIM, he is imposing on YOU by attempting to draw you into his life without your permission.

 

[RoseMary131]

Society sometimes tells us we “need” to do something that crosses our boundaries. OP, you see your boundaries and You Know you do not what to cross it. That is a good awareness of yourself and your morals and beliefs.

There may be another person who has the “feeling of their boundaries”, but not the awareness that they do not have to let another person cross it.

When others witness us “sticking” to our boundaries, it can help them be aware that it is acceptable for them to have boundaries.

There may be one more co-worker today, who will feel relief when they see its okay to say “No, thank you, I would rather you not share the pictures with me.” You may help them with their discomfort, by witnessing that you have the courage to define your moral boundaries for yourself."

This can be true in your work setting today with the co-workers pictures AND true with all areas of our lives.

 

[nickybr38]

Society sometimes tells us we “need” to do something that crosses our boundaries. OP, you see your boundaries and You Know you do not what to cross it. That is a good awareness of yourself and your morals and beliefs.

There may be another person who has the “feeling of their boundaries”, but not the awareness that they do not have to let another person cross it.

When others witness us “sticking” to our boundaries, it can help them be aware that it is acceptable for them to have boundaries.

There may be one more co-worker today, who will feel relief when they see its okay to say “No, thank you, I would rather you not share the pictures with me.” You may help them with their discomfort, by witnessing that you have the courage to define your moral boundaries for yourself."

This can be true in your work setting today with the co-workers pictures AND true with all areas of our lives.

Amen. Respecting people’s beliefs should go BOTH ways.

Let me tell you, I have plenty of gay friends, promiscuous friends and tax collector friends. They all know perfectly well where I stand and they respect my position because they know I LOVE THEM, even while disliking their actions. It’s not that difficult.

 

[coachdennis]

On the other hand, if he knows your views he might choose not to show you any of the pictures because he doesn’t want to see or hear your disapproval.

FRom his point of view why would he want to share his pictures will a “religious killjoy”?

Please note that I am NOT saying you are this type of person, but not every gay person thows it “in your face” as others have proclaimed on this thread.

Also, I must add that after thirty plus years in the workforce I have had my full of bridal showers, baby showers, birthdays, etc in the workplace. It’s a wonder ANY work gets done in any American business today!!! And yes, I’m being grouchy!

 

[Meemai]

Actually it might be better to look at it, and then say. But wait thats a man your marrying, take your bible out of your bag put it on the table search all chapters that are against gays. Oh wait there are none.

But well you can put away the bible publicly denounce him and tell him to stay out of your neighbourhood, because he is a sinner. And give him the business card of your local priest and tell him he should undo the marriage.

Then just get back to work. Yes that would keep God surely happy!

 

[edwest2]

This I could not do. I am not going to be false about my beliefs.

Not up to me to pick the words for you. But I’d just say, “I’d rather not.” If he asks why, just say you’d rather not. Not knowing your full working relationship with this person, I can’t say more.

Peace,
Ed

 

[edwest2]

Actually it might be better to look at it, and then say. But wait thats a man your marrying, take your bible out of your bag put it on the table search all chapters that are against gays. Oh wait there are none.

But well you can put away the bible publicly denounce him and tell him to stay out of your neighbourhood, because he is a sinner. And give him the business card of your local priest and tell him he should undo the marriage.

Then just get back to work. Yes that would keep God surely happy!

May I suggest you read the following?

catholic.com/tracts/homosexuality

Peace,
Ed

 

[nickybr38]

On the other hand, if he knows your views he might choose not to show you any of the pictures because he doesn’t want to see or hear your disapproval.

FRom his point of view why would he want to share his pictures will a “religious killjoy”?

Please note that I am NOT saying you are this type of person, but not every gay person thows it “in your face” as others have proclaimed on this thread.

Also, I must add that after thirty plus years in the workforce I have had my full of bridal showers, baby showers, birthdays, etc in the workplace. It’s a wonder ANY work gets done in any American business today!!! And yes, I’m being grouchy!

I’m with you! LOL. I get really tired of the interpersonal chatter. I don’t want to know about my coworkers exploits. It’s not necessary for a good working relationship. All we need to know about each other is where our strengths lie in relation to the job. IF I want to get to know my coworker outside of work I will do it OUTSIDE OF WORK or on our breaks.

Meemai - You seriously need to reconsider your position. No one here is saying to be rude to the coworker. We are saying there is no reason the OP should be obligated to look at and appear to consent to this ‘marriage’, which isn’t a marriage in OP’s eyes anyway.

If your coworker wanted to show you pictures of their 14 year old’s marriage to a 40 year old would you want to look at those? This is no different. To the OP this is objectionable and OP just doesn’t want to see the pictures. We are simply attempting to guide her/him in the most polite path of refusing to look.

 

[edwest2]

Would be an uncomfortable dilemma. I might look, depends. I would not be fake about it by giving some sort of hurrah of approval. I find it hard to believe looking at these pictures soberly would be scandalous. I would show respect for your co-worker as the first priority. No one dies either way.

I find it interesting that this thread has 8 pages in 5 hours.

Scandal has become so common, it’s missed by some. Soberly, it would be a scandal.

Peace,
Ed

 

[Meemai]

May I suggest you read the following?

catholic.com/tracts/homosexuality

Peace,
Ed

Biggest nonsense I have read this year. It may have some points. But in theory it does not work.

Because in this case.

Not looking at a gay wedding photo’s. What would be wrong with looking at them?

Well for instance people say it’s a gay wedding and gays sin and I do not want to look at a picture of sinners.

But let’s take a wedding picture of a heterosexual couple, the heterosexuals are sinners also they lie and probably sin at a daily basis. But nothing wrong with seeing they’re wedding pictures.

Thus I can conclude it has nothing to do with sin anymore but with gay or heterosexual.
Since a heterosexual sinner we still look at they’re wedding pics. In this case you can watch this tread as homophobic.

I

If your coworker wanted to show you pictures of their 14 year old’s marriage to a 40 year old would you want to look at those? This is no different. To the OP this is objectionable and OP just doesn’t want to see the pictures. We are simply attempting to guide her/him in the most polite path of refusing to look.

Yes I would look at those pictures. Who am I to think bad of it? I would only make sure that the 14 year old has not been forced to marry if so I would just call child protection.