Rach and BHM,
How do I respond to this? That person reponded to my post with this posted in quotes below
Here is how I would respond (use your own words obviously, or copy this if you like it) -
I think the idea here of what is ‘natural’ versus what is ‘unnatural’ is actually not an accurate representation of how Catholics view this. After all, the computers we are typing on are most certainly not ‘natural’, but there is nothing in Catholicism forbidding their use. And, conversely, xenophobia and poisonous snakes are most certainly natural, but I don’t enjoy encountering either.
Catholics are not attempting to get closer to nature.
They are attempting to get closer to God.
To do so, catholics believe it is important to use what God has given us in the WAY he intended for us to use it (the verse here about tongues being used to bless and curse would be appropriate, but I don’t have the number handy), rather than manipulating it for our own goals.
The problem with birth control and barrier methods is that they, in essence, ‘break’ sex. Those methods render the marital act infertile, and it is infertile not through GOD’S will, but through our own. Therein lies the sin. With NFP, the marital act is still ORDERED towards procreation. The sex hasn’t changed, but our choices have.
With NFP a couple is simply choosing not to have sex. This choice, by the way, must always be made prayerfully. The question of ‘Is now the right time to have more children?’ is always a question that should be asked to God. It is IMPERATIVE that a couple have a strong prayer life, especially on this matter. As with everything, God will guide. It is our duty to simply follow.
Though no analogy is perfect, I think he difference between NFP and other methods is akin to the difference between dieting and purging. When one diets, one changes one’s actions to be in concordance with their will. So, on a diet, a person ABSTAINS, as it were, from certain foods, or certain amounts of foods. A person makes acts in accordance with their will. Whereas with purging, one does not change one’s actions. You go about living your life exactly as you had before, except you manipulate your body to achieve a desired result. Rather than changing one’s actions, a person changes their body. And, as with NFP, even dieting can be used in a sinful matter. if the person is dieting for vanity, then it could be sinful. If a person is dieting in the interest of preserving and protecting the gift from God that is their good health.
As I said, NFP is something that can be used and the couple could STILL be sinning. Is the couple avoiding pregnancy for selfish reasons or out of a desire for responsible parenthood? It’s a tough call for all married couples as to choosing when to conceive, with or without NFP. That’s why prayer is SO critical to every couple’s relationship (among other reasons.)
I would also like to add that it’s not a sin to abstain from sexual relations with your spouse, for any number of reasons of LESSER importance than procreating. Maybe you had a long day at work, and would prefer a hot bath and an early bedtime. Maybe the kids are sick and you know they’ll wake you seventeen times tonight. Maybe you’re covered in poison oak. The point is, married couples don’t have sex every hour of every day. Couples abstain from marital relations for all sorts of reasons. And I believe reasons like ‘my body is still recovering from the last baby’ is certainly a good enough reason to abstain from sex, too.
In short, we have free will and we have knowledge. Both are gifts from God and, used in accordance with his will, are perfectly acceptable.
If I could just add some scripture here, too…again, I can’t name chapter and verse, but the punishment for Onan was death. Death, death, death. The punishment according to law at the time of NOT taking your brother’s wife was public humiliation. Why was Onan punished so much more severely?
Also, it might be helpful to consider which commandment a couple is breaking when one engages in relations with artificial contraceptives. It’s the sin of bearing false witness. To Catholics, your body MEANS something. Your actions MEAN something (hence the bowing, kneeling and the such.) jesus said to Judas in the garden ‘You would betray me with a kiss?’ Why say that? Because your actions MEAN something. You can tell lies with your body as easily as you can with your tongue.
And as God designed marriage, it is to be a TOTAL and COMPLETE mutual giving of self and the summit of this self-giving is in the marital act, when two become one. When a couple has relations with contraceptives, what they are saying with their bodies is ‘You can have me, EXCEPT my fertility. That, you can’t have.’ They are doing the very act which is supposed to unite them as one, and instead they are still divided, either physically through a barrier or more covertly through the use of the pill.
One last thing…I don’t have time to link to the studies now, but I remember reading that50% of couples divorces. Of those who attend church of any kind it drops to something like 16%. Of those who are using NFP, the divorce rate drops to around 5%. That means of 100 couples using NFP, 6 will divorce, whereas in the general population it’s 50.
By your fruits, I will know you…
Hope this helps!