Bingo. CAF is a graveyard of posts detailing in agony the wreckage of marriages of Catholics who married irreligious people in good faith, only for their spouse’s mask to come off later in the marriage and reveal the snarling atheist beneath.PlEASE don’t make the very terrible mistake of marrying a non-Catholic, or even seriously dating one. It is sin, separation, hardship and bitter disappointment if you take your Faith seriously.
Find a Catholic, but even if you never do, leave this man.
I am married to a non-Catholic. We have a wonderful marriage and we have been married for over 20 years.I’m getting scared that I will have to sacrifice our future together.
We have been married 26 years and have raised 4 great children in the Catholic faith. Religion has never been cause for concern. If I’d have been introduced to the Scot Hahn conversion story earlier…I may have been a Catholic for 26 years instead of 20.Too late. Already found her and she chose a non Catholic.
There are very few spouses that convert after marriage. I know plenty of Catholics who married a non-Catholic and that spouse left and divorced them. Likely, being a mixed marriage, they used contraception before marriage, during marriage, and got sterilized. Compromising their faith, living in sin. Then the remaining Catholic spouse then ‘had a problem with the Church teaching’ that said they are still married. A very difficult situation, not to mention the children. To say you converted is great, but it’s not prudent or wise given that the Church and scripture both say not to. If we chose to live our married life as the unbelievers do, you can be sure we’ll suffer divorce as they do.We have been married 26 years and have raised 4 great children in the Catholic faith. Religion has never been cause for concern. If I’d have been introduced to the Scot Hahn conversion story earlier…I may have been a Catholic for 26 years instead of 20.
Oh, you. LOL, sorry.We have been married 26 years and have raised 4 great children in the Catholic faith. Religion has never been cause for concern. If I’d have been introduced to the Scot Hahn conversion story earlier…I may have been a Catholic for 26 years instead of 20.
For every story like yours, there are probably 10 tales of misery.As a (former) non-Catholic christian married to a cradle Catholic, I get a little irritated with the inevitable “run, don’t walk away” responses that these threads always garner.
My wife made it clear to me up front: “Don’t try to stop me from being a Catholic or raising our kids in the Church”. I attended mass off and on for years while we dated, were engaged and when we were first married. I never tested her about her faith (nor did I want to). I eventually converted, largely because of her example - she never pressured me to become Catholic at all.
Being a Catholic doesn’t mean a man will be a good husband any more than being a non-Catholic means he will be a bad one. The proof of that can be seen on other threads in this forum. You and your boyfriend have some obvious disagreements about important details regarding a future together. You should explore those and see if you can form some sort of compromise or else part ways and look for someone who shares your values (Catholic or not).
It isn’t that he is a non-Catholic Christian. It is that she is already finding that he won’t allow her to follow Church teaching.As a (former) non-Catholic christian married to a cradle Catholic, I get a little irritated with the inevitable “run, don’t walk away” responses that these threads always garner.
It appears the sentiment has been lost in the detail. Let me go and look it up.Oh, you. LOL, sorry.
Scott Hahn himself has only been Catholic for 27 years, so you actually heard his story pretty early on.
No, the sentiment wasn’t lost. My point is that you couldn’t have heard Scott Hahn’s conversion story 26 years ago since he only converted 27 years ago and he wasn’t remotely famous at the time.It appears the sentiment has been lost in the detail. Let me go and look it up.
Ok…Its been 13 years of a 26 year marriage. I still stand by my original statement though. If I had been introduced to the Scot Hahn story earlier…It may well be 26 years as a Catholic.
I thank you though for the little trip down memory lane. It was good to read again the sincere words of the Priest who performed my confirmation. Nice guy. Thank you.
So would you have given his wife the same advice? “to run a million miles from this man simply because he wasn’t Catholic at the time.”No, the sentiment wasn’t lost. My point is that you couldn’t have heard Scott Hahn’s conversion story 26 years ago since he only converted 27 years ago and he wasn’t remotely famous at the time.
Yes, of course I would have.So would you have given his wife the same advice? “to run a million miles from this man simply because he wasn’t Catholic at the time.”
God Bless
Thank you for reading
Josh
How do you sort out other issues in which you differ with him on? why is religious beliefs so different?My boyfriend and I started dating in September 2012, our first semester of college. We lived on the same floor of our dorm building, so we spent all of our free time together and got very serious very quickly. I was his first kiss and first girlfriend, and I had just gotten out of a year-long relationship the preceding summer.
Lately, we have begun talking about the future more seriously than we ever had before. He knows that I’m Catholic and that I’m strong in my faith, but until now I don’t think he fully understood the implications of that.
He doesn’t want to get married until he has graduated from college. I agree. He doesn’t want to have children until he has all of his student loans (around $36,000) paid off. I’m not so sure about that. He doesn’t want to use natural family planning because he doesn’t trust it (I pointed out that my parents used it, and he pointed out that my parents ended up with six children, one of whom was born when both were in their forties). I have a problem with that.
He comes to Mass with me every once in a while, usually after much pleading on my part, but he wasn’t raised in a faithful home. He believes in God, but he doesn’t know the Lord’s Prayer. I’m getting scared that I will have to sacrifice our future together. I don’t know how to make him understand how important these things are to me.
I tried to loan him a book about the Catholic faith, but he said he would read it only if I read a book he had suggested to me that I wasn’t interested in. I don’t know what else to do without scaring him off. To someone raised without organized religion, talking to a priest can be a little daunting. Does anyone have any other ideas?
Did you tell him why you have a problem with contraceptives?He doesn’t want to use natural family planning because he doesn’t trust it (I pointed out that my parents used it, and he pointed out that my parents ended up with six children, one of whom was born when both were in their forties). I have a problem with that.
I don’t recall Jesus being upset with his people because they couldn’t recite the ten commandments by heart.He believes in God, but he doesn’t know the Lord’s Prayer.
You could begin with, why is it important to you and then explain to him why you value it so much.I don’t know how to make him understand how important these things are to me.
Why?Yes, of course I would have.
Because it’s prudent, for the reasons that have been explained in great detail by many posters on this thread and many other threads.Why?
God Bless
Thank you for reading
Josh
True, it’s good to be prudent when it comes to religion, but I think you are going a bit too far by saying that if their not Catholic to run a million miles.Because it’s prudent, for the reasons that have been explained in great detail by many posters on this thread and many other threads.