PLEASE help me overcome sexual impurity

[AgnosTheist]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

Here is a practical advice:

Dont blame yourself, its all part of your genetic makeup. In short, God made you that way. Learn to accept who you are. As long as you are not harming anyone, not harming yourself, you should be fine. You will outgrow the heat of youth. Later in life you will just laugh at your experiences today.

Here is a religious advice:

It must be pretty awkward telling your sexual secrets to a male stranger (the priest). You really dont have to. A lot of catholics confesses to God directly. What matters is repentance, not religious practices. Its God who made you what you are, God will keep forgiving you.

 

[ChangingHeart]

Here is a practical advice:

Dont blame yourself, its all part of your genetic makeup. In short, God made you that way. Learn to accept who you are. As long as you are not harming anyone, not harming yourself, you should be fine. You will outgrow the heat of youth. Later in life you will just laugh at your experiences today.

Here is a religious advice:

It must be pretty awkward telling your sexual secrets to a male stranger (the priest). You really dont have to. A lot of catholics confesses to God directly. What matters is repentance, not religious practices. Its God who made you what you are, God will keep forgiving you.

Disregard this advice. It doesn’t come from a Catholic.

 

[jssaxon]

Disregard this advice. It doesn’t come from a Catholic.

That’s right, God is a vengeful, petty diety who is up in a cloud throwing thunderbolts down on people for acting on impulses and temptations that he constructed in some sort of cosmic joke. First, he gives people a strong sexual urge, then he tells them not to act on it, that it’s a sin. Well, he does mention sex in the Bible a few times, but doesn’t exactly come out in plain language “Do not masturbate!!!” once in the Bible.

 

[Riley259]

I practise disgusting sexual impurity.I KNOW its disgusting and I hate it and I don’t want to…but try telling me that when I’m tempted.I am female…Its something like a female form of masturbation…I can’t seem to help it. I find it very hard to talk about things like this. I managed to go to confession with it and was absolved but I did it again less then a week later. I really don’t know why… I hate it. I want nothing to do with sex but I just don’t know what to do anymore now. Please can you give me some practical advice as to how to overcome this and put an end to it?Also, since I find it so hard to go to confession,if I am truely repentantand apoligize to God, do I really have to?Thank you.

You are definitely not alone in this problem but it is more unusual for a female to be addicted as you seem to be. Regardless, you must stay away from impure material and lustful thoughts. Instead, replace it with other more healthy and spiritually uplifting activities. Prayer is always important and an accountability partner can be helpful. Try to figure out the triggers that set you into this lustful cycle of impure acts and avoid them at all costs. A good site that might be helpful is: www.trueknights.org and material from Steve Wood. I’ll pray for you.

 

[agangbern]

That’s right, God is a vengeful, petty diety who is up in a cloud throwing thunderbolts down on people for acting on impulses and temptations that he constructed in some sort of cosmic joke. First, he gives people a strong sexual urge, then he tells them not to act on it, that it’s a sin. Well, he does mention sex in the Bible a few times, but doesn’t exactly come out in plain language “Do not masturbate!!!” once in the Bible.

No! God is not a vengeful, petty diety! He is a just and loving God!
If you have not realized his great love for you, then you should strive further to pray to God to help you how to understand yourself more…

 

[Maria1212]

Dear OP,

I just made the following post on a separate thread but thought I would share it with you.

Sometimes, it is easy to think that after receiving Reconcilliation, we will never sin again, and then when we do, we are filled with disappointment. God does not ask perfection from us, so please do not beat yourself up. Yes, it is necessary to repent and seek forgiveness when we sin, but we cannot free ourselves from sin. But with the grace of God, we can improve, and do better.

When trying to break patterns of habitual sin, it has helped me to pray to God that today I will do better than I did yesterday. That helps me not feel so overwhelmed and it helps me be realistic. Sometimes, it takes time to overcome certain sins and it does not always happen over night.

Sometimes, we also need to fix another area in our life, to eliminate the variable that leads us/tempts us to sin. For example, sometimes extreme stress and anxiety creates an environment where people are more likely to give into impure actions. Loneliness can be a factor too. Until those variables are resolved, it is sometimes difficult to overcome particular sin. I think sometimes the reason people, particularly women, commit sexual sins is for emotional reasons, rather than physical pleasure. Until those reasons are addressed, it can be extremely difficult to overcome sin.

As a female, I have noticed that at certain times in my cycle, I am much more tempted. It helps to be aware of this, so you can work extra hard to be “on guard” against sexual sin during this time. It is normal and natural to feel sexual feelings, but as Catholics we believe that with God`s help, we can achieve self-discipline to have “mastery” of our feelings. We are not ruled by our passions. We cannot always control how we feel, but we can control how we respond and act.

With God`s strength, you can overcome this. I think going cold Turkey is the best approach, but should you fail, ask for immediate forgiveness and do not beat yourself up. And of course, go to Confession. Please do not be embarrassed to confess this. You should be proud that you have the courage to seek forgiveness and not let your pride prevent you from this. The Devil wants your pride or embarrassment to keep you from confession, but it takes real courage to seek forgiveness and repent.

Do not listen to others who tell you it is not a sin. It may not always be a mortal sin, but it is always a sin nonetheless. Even if it does not feel like one!

God is not asking the impossible of this. You can overcome this. It might take awhile because you need to learn new mechanisms to fight this battle, but you can do it. Pray the rosary each night. Try to go to Mass as often as possible. And do not listen to others who tell you this is not a sin. They are not Catholic, and are often trying to justify their own sinful behavior.

I will keep you in my prayers. Many people struggle with sexual purity and you are not alone.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[Seatuck]

One of the things I do to help combat this issue is to think about my guardian angel. Sitting right there next to me. Contemplate on how difficult for your angel it is to sit right beside you while you commit a sin. It works for me.

 

[Maria1212]

I went to the Saturday Vigil Mass tonight and thought the readings were especially relevant to this thread.

Please dont let the devil fill you with discouragement or despair. God is waiting to comfort you and encourage you. Please go to Confession and keep on doing your best. With Gods help you can overcome this. I recommend the rosary to help you with this. Reading Scripture before you go to bed will be especially helpful.

I will keep you in my prayers.

Sincerely,

Maria1212

 

[Shameless]

Here are some good Catholic places you can try:

www.trueknights.org (as already mentioned) - they have a discussion forum on sexual addiction recovery for Catholics too

saint-mike.org/csgsar/default.asp - they also have a sexual addiction recovery for Catholics forums

www.dads.org (Steve Wood)

pornnomore.com/

These places will help you a lot and can give you more info than you can imagine. With God’s grace you can overcome this, please don’t give up.

 

[Julian_Peters]

Thank you to all who have participated. This thread is now closed.