M
marietta
Guest
**Originally Posted by mammallama: **
*"I should stay put and accept the Will of God.I must work on my own sinfulness and learn to forgive.Learn patience,pray for his conversion…not walk away from such a long standing commitment just because I don’t care for the way things are going.Respect my husband and stand by him during his trials.
Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow.Will do my all to be more like St Rita and less like a me-me-me-sort of person."*
We must all learn patience, work on our own sinfulness and learn to forgive. This does not equal sacrificing your own life, utterly boxing it up and putting it into cold storage, because somebody you thought we loved once gets angry or controlling due to active alcoholism.
*“Once I changed my attitudes and behaviors…well it was amazing the effect on our marriage.” *
Once you clamped down the lid on your disappointment, anger and resentment and allowed your “mean-natured” husband to have his own way once again, of course things settled down! No fight, no need to even discuss anything. You do what he wants when he wants it and everything is chocolate and roses. I don’t buy it for a second. Know why? I’m a product of an alcoholic marriage (and a Catholic one at that) - and I am an alcoholic myself. Back in my own practicing days I knew exactly what tantrum, what body language, what stony silence to use in order that I could make a power shift in my relationships and get my way. What have you done? You have folded under the pressure applied by an egotistical, spoiled, and dying man. If your husband is truly an alcoholic, his disease is progressive, chronic and fatal. By not addressing the stinking, rotting carcass in the middle of your living room floor, you are enabling him to sprint toward cirrhosis, viral hepatitis, even liver cancer, not to mention the wreckage caused by the absolute self-centered characteristics of his behavior.
What would make you think that this is God’s will for you? Do you give glory to Him by sticking by this man who has been so intolerable? Or is it just too hard to break free?
One thing is for certaiin: if he is a drunk, his behavior will not improve over the long run.
Pray for his conversion from a Motel 6, until you can get situated elsewhere.
marietta
*"I should stay put and accept the Will of God.I must work on my own sinfulness and learn to forgive.Learn patience,pray for his conversion…not walk away from such a long standing commitment just because I don’t care for the way things are going.Respect my husband and stand by him during his trials.
Our wedding anniversary is tomorrow.Will do my all to be more like St Rita and less like a me-me-me-sort of person."*
We must all learn patience, work on our own sinfulness and learn to forgive. This does not equal sacrificing your own life, utterly boxing it up and putting it into cold storage, because somebody you thought we loved once gets angry or controlling due to active alcoholism.
*“Once I changed my attitudes and behaviors…well it was amazing the effect on our marriage.” *
Once you clamped down the lid on your disappointment, anger and resentment and allowed your “mean-natured” husband to have his own way once again, of course things settled down! No fight, no need to even discuss anything. You do what he wants when he wants it and everything is chocolate and roses. I don’t buy it for a second. Know why? I’m a product of an alcoholic marriage (and a Catholic one at that) - and I am an alcoholic myself. Back in my own practicing days I knew exactly what tantrum, what body language, what stony silence to use in order that I could make a power shift in my relationships and get my way. What have you done? You have folded under the pressure applied by an egotistical, spoiled, and dying man. If your husband is truly an alcoholic, his disease is progressive, chronic and fatal. By not addressing the stinking, rotting carcass in the middle of your living room floor, you are enabling him to sprint toward cirrhosis, viral hepatitis, even liver cancer, not to mention the wreckage caused by the absolute self-centered characteristics of his behavior.
What would make you think that this is God’s will for you? Do you give glory to Him by sticking by this man who has been so intolerable? Or is it just too hard to break free?
One thing is for certaiin: if he is a drunk, his behavior will not improve over the long run.
Pray for his conversion from a Motel 6, until you can get situated elsewhere.
marietta