Please please help- sleep training

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To answer various questions: she is eight months old, I would consider pumping but I’m not sure when I’d pump because she eats every hour during the day, and my husband spends most of the evening doing grad school work. Plus, not sure if I mentioned this on a previous thread or not, but he can not get her to fall asleep to save his life. He’ll rock her for two minutes and either get annoyed that she’s not already asleep or he’ll try to put her down in the crib as soon as her eyes close.
 
AClaire11 said:
To answer various questions: she is eight months old, I would consider pumping but I’m not sure when I’d pump because she eats every hour during the day, and my husband spends most of the evening doing grad school work. Plus, not sure if I mentioned this on a previous thread or not, but he can not get her to fall asleep to save his life. He’ll rock her for two minutes and either get annoyed that she’s not already asleep or he’ll try to put her down in the crib as soon as her eyes close.
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Do you have a solids program going? More of that might be helpful.

Also, come to think of it, your husband should be coming to the end of the academic term. I would suggest just treading water until he is done with his work this term.
 
Xantippe said:
Do you have a solids program going? More of that might be helpful.

Also, come to think of it, your husband should be coming to the end of the academic term. I would suggest just treading water until he is done with his work this term.
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If we do baby food, she’ll eat about half a jar. We’ve only been offering at dinner. Tonight I tried finger food and she ate maybe two fusili noodles.

Yeah term ends on the fifteenth. He starts back the first week of January and is taking classes in the spring, summer, and fall next year. The degree is supposed to help a lot but having a husband in grad school and working full time is horrible.
 
The typical week day evening: he gets home and we eat dinner as soon as it’s ready, then it’s time to try to get the baby to sleep. He works out and spends most of the evening on the computer. I relax for an hour once the baby is asleep, then feed her again when she wakes up, put her back in the crib, get ready for bed, and then fall asleep. He’s usually still on the computer.
 
AClaire11 said:
The typical week day evening: he gets home and we eat dinner as soon as it’s ready, then it’s time to try to get the baby to sleep. He works out and spends most of the evening on the computer. I relax for an hour once the baby is asleep, then feed her again when she wakes up, put her back in the crib, get ready for bed, and then fall asleep. He’s usually still on the computer.
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Bummer.

Two more weeks!
 
Dacinom said:
I am sorry to hear you are going through this.

My suggestion was going to be solid foods as well. When my children reached that age (especially one baby I remember well stood out for me) the indicator for solid foods were the night time feedings. I had one baby that was constantly waking up to feed because, they were STARVING. They were in a growth spurt and breastmilk just was not enough, at least for my children!

Your baby may be different but some of my children did the best with a cereal mixed with a veggie or fruit before bed. I will pray for you I know you are exhausted. Please keep us posted on how things are going. God bless.
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I PM’d you already, but I second this. 🙂 DS, 5 months old, recently started having dinner with us. He loves sitting at the table with the big people, and ditto snarfing down a bowl of oatmeal and applesauce. Since he started this, his nighttime sleep stretches have generally been both longer and more consistent.
 
OP. please nap? lack of sleep is used in some places as torture,

Would "baby wearing " around the apartment help? Rather than putting her in the crib after feeding?

Just a thought; have seen so many babies of late fast on on their mother’s front.

But look after YOU please. Your tension will spread to the baby too. Sing to her?
 
I agree with some of the other posters here that it sounds like she needs more solid foods.

I do have a suggestion since you mentioned that your husband can’t get her to sleep…this is most likely horrible advice but we have found that letting her watch tv until she fell asleep helped a lot. I know tv is frowned upon and I really wanted to follow the no tv rule for the first 2 years but…no matter what I did my daughter would not go to sleep easily. It was always a fight. Now don’t get me wrong, I spend all day with her making sure she is learning what she should be and helping her through milestones. So she isn’t just thrown in front of the tv all day or something similar.

Before I started this she would go between light and deep sleep…now that I use the tv she is a deep sleeper. I can walk out of the room even with the floors squeeking and she no longer wakes up. She is currently almost 2 so I do not know if it is age related…I am new to this mommy thing, but it could be something to try so you can get some rest. We also room share with our daughter mainly because the other room is downstairs…

I hope this helps you come up with some ideas to help your particular family situation. Oh and since your husband helps out during the weekends you should try finding a way to sleep in or get a good nap during the day to help you survive the week.
 
Saint Michael, the archangel, defend us in battle, be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil, may God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do you, O’ Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God thrust into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world for the ruin of souls.

Amen.

†

Our Father who art in Heaven, hallowed be thy name.

Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

Amen.

†

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.

Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.

Amen.

†

For Help in Trials

Most holy apostle St. Jude, faithful servant and friend of Jesus, the name of the traitor who delivered your beloved Master into the hands of His enemies has caused you to be forgotten by many. But the Church honors and invokes you universally as the patron of hopeless cases–of things despaired of. Pray for me who feels so hopeless. Make use, I implore you, of that particular privilege accorded to you of bringing visible and speedy help where help is almost despaired of. Come to my assistance in this great need, that I may receive the consolations and succor of heaven in all my necessities, tribulations and sufferings, in particular (AClaire11), and that I may bless God with you and all the elect throughout eternity. I promise you, O Blessed St. Jude, to be ever mindful of this great favor, and I will never cease to honor you as my special and powerful patron, and to do all in my power to encourage devotion to you. Amen.

†
 
Xantippe said:
I don’t think there’s a lot of point in trying to aggressively sleep train when living in a studio apartment with a 1-year-old.

Get her into a bedroom with a door that closes between you and her and I think there’s an 90% chance that this problem is going to resolve with minimal effort on your part.

Come to think of it, I once knew a couple in Russia that was living in a small studio apartment with their 4-year-old. Cozy! As I recall, they had a large solid piece of furniture dividing their studio apt. into the parental half and the kid half. I have concerns about the safety side of that (any tall unsecured piece of furniture is a hazard), but it probably was OK (but not ideal) for privacy.

In the meantime, have you tried white noise? When our youngest was small, I loved a rain sound effect, even just for me getting to sleep after a night feeding. I also really like those bubbling light-up crib aquariums that the baby can turn off and on. We own one that runs for 18 (!) minutes–pure bliss!
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I won’t add much except to say that you and your husband need a date night. Do it. Rent a room. Even if just a couple hours. It’s one of the most important things to do. Also, remember this is not forever. Whenever one of my kids is in some phase that causes me to be sleep deprived I think back to college. I relax. Because I get way more sleep now than then.

This too shall pass.
 
I would try playing lullaby or soft music to drown out noise and help settle down. I would talk to the pediatrician about night time weaning techniques specific to your baby.

I would give other things to self soothe, such as a baby safe stuffed animal to aid with self soothing. Pacifiers are not good because they lose them in the crib and then cry. I know it sounds mean, but if your baby is full, and just fussing, don’t pick them up even for a diaper change, do it it in the crib… You can talk and say it’s time to sleep, mommy is here and so on when the baby cries…this takes resolve…and no breaking from this once started. That gives rhe baby security…but If you pick up the baby, you are back to square 1

This is what worked for me with my kids years ago, and they all had different temperments.

Best wishes:)
 
I don’t feel comfortable going to our pediatrician about this. She’s been trying to make me do full extinction and full night weaning since the baby was two months old. She’s just going to tell me to keep going and not even feed her at night cold turkey. CIO is just not going to work in this apartment.

We don’t have a TV. I will try feeding her more solids. She does have a lovey bunny in the crib.
 
AClaire11 said:
I don’t feel comfortable going to our pediatrician about this. She’s been trying to make me do full extinction and full night weaning since the baby was two months old. She’s just going to tell me to keep going and not even feed her at night cold turkey. CIO is just not going to work in this apartment.

We don’t have a TV. I will try feeding her more solids. She does have a lovey bunny in the crib.
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Go ahead and talk to your pediatrician–but make it VERY clear that you have to whatever she says in the same room. (CIO is predicated on being able to leave the room and shut the door–it’s in every single description I’ve ever seen.)

If your pediatrician is too thick to understand that, get a new pediatrician. You need one that you can actually go to with your problems and whose advice you value–otherwise, what are they for?

I don’t think it’s that dangerous to a big baby like you have, but I would personally not allow a stuffed animal until 1.

I also suspect there’s a growth spurt going on, so her feeding patterns may calm down soon, especially with more solids.
 
Something that came to mind this morning…

When DH was a baby, his parents lived in a similar kind of situation to that you describe, even down to the same area of the country! CIO wasn’t feasible for all the reasons you mention. What they ended up doing was going on vacation to one of the grandparent’s houses when DH was about your daughter’s age, and doing CIO there rather than in an apartment setting. Then, when they got home, they simply followed the same routine as at Grandma’s, and DH would fall asleep after fussing for a minute or two.
 
Took a small catnap this morning and a 90 minute one during her nap. The cat even came for part of it. I feel a lot better.

Her doctor’s solution was to hide in the bathroom and then come back out. Which didn’t work. I keep meaning to try different doctors at that office but never end up following through because she’s so nice and I second guess myself.

The bunny is one of those little blanket squares that said 9m+ on it, but I understand that others might be uncomfortable with that.
 
My suggestion is that DH tries to get baby to sleep. Baby has associated sleep with you and nursing.

Maybe go take a shower and give baby to DH for nap time. He can rock or tell a story or gently coax her to sleep. Then baby will understand that it isn’t just you who can comfort. Also during the day try to stretch her feedings to a bit further apart so she feeds more efficiently And naps. 2 a day. 1 morning nap at about 3 hours after she wakes up. Then an afternoon nap after lunch time. My experience is that naps help sleep time. An overtired baby won’t sleep well.

And at a certain point my kids would nurse lying down, tummy to tummy. You can sleep while she nurses.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
My suggestion is that DH tries to get baby to sleep. Baby has associated sleep with you and nursing.

Maybe go take a shower and give baby to DH for nap time. He can rock or tell a story or gently coax her to sleep. Then baby will understand that it isn’t just you who can comfort. Also during the day try to stretch her feedings to a bit further apart so she feeds more efficiently And naps. 2 a day. 1 morning nap at about 3 hours after she wakes up. Then an afternoon nap after lunch time. My experience is that naps help sleep time. An overtired baby won’t sleep well.

And at a certain point my kids would nurse lying down, tummy to tummy. You can sleep while she nurses.
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I think this is all very good.
 
I tried to feed her some purée at lunch and she had no interest at all 😦 I even made sure it had been a while since she had nursed.
 
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