Please please help- sleep training

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AClaire11 said:
I’m gradually reducing the length of her night feedings (when I don’t accidentally fall asleep, ugh) but I also don’t want her to keep waking every hour, so I’m cutting out that second feeding. And apparently it worked. Some people have been advising me not to feed at all before midnight, but I think that’s too sudden of a change.
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Yeah, that is a sudden change.

My son that I mentioned didn’t sleep well. People told me it was because he was hungry. He ate very well when it came to solids. By nine months he was having dinner and breakfast of all different types of foods. He’d still wake up. He was good with a sippy cup.

Since last night she slept from 10:45. Tonight, aim for a bedtime of maybe 9:30 -10:30

And with my son, if it was me getting him, he associated that with nursing. Mommy to him meant “nice lady who feeds me”. If DH got him, it was easier.

Does she have a sippy? She might like a bit of water with daddy. Just have him cuddle her in a different position than when you nurse.

Adding, does she have teeth yet? She might be teething and nursing provides relief.
 
AClaire11 said:
But it’s better! She didn’t wake up every hour.
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Yeah, 6:45 is WAY too early. You’re shooting yourself in the foot.
You’re only half way there…keep it going.
She won’t perish from tears. Honest. It’s hard…I know you worry about her sweet little elf. But you’ve got to stay strong.
 
I asked for help on a Facebook sleep training group this morning. They said to move up bedtime to half an hour later and not to feed her before midnight. I know they’re right but I’m dreading it. I wish we could move to a bigger place but with the $600 transfer fee (for moving to a place within our building) and the moving costs and the increased rent, we just can’t do that right now. Probably in the spring.
 
AClaire11 said:
I asked for help on a Facebook sleep training group this morning. They said to move up bedtime to half an hour later and not to feed her before midnight. I know they’re right but I’m dreading it. I wish we could move to a bigger place but with the $600 transfer fee (for moving to a place within our building) and the moving costs and the increased rent, we just can’t do that right now. Probably in the spring.
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I kind of want to kick your complex people for the $600 transfer fee for moving within the building.

Holy cow, that’s shady!
 
Xantippe said:
I kind of want to kick your complex people for the $600 transfer fee for moving within the building.

Holy cow, that’s shady!
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Yeah. That’s a huge metro area. There’s got to be a better place.
 
AClaire11 said:
I asked for help on a Facebook sleep training group this morning. They said to move up bedtime to half an hour later and not to feed her before midnight. I know they’re right but I’m dreading it. I wish we could move to a bigger place but with the $600 transfer fee (for moving to a place within our building) and the moving costs and the increased rent, we just can’t do that right now. Probably in the spring.
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If it were me, I would do whatever I could to move. I would pay for my groceries or whatever by credit card in order to free up the cash for the move. We would get some friends and make the move ourselves. If you are in a that small place, there can’t be that much to move. No need to pay someone. (When we were younger, my husband and I moved everything in a u-haul to our new home9 hours away. Unloaded it ourselves. So, it can be done.)

I don’t know how much your husband makes a year, but sometimes, you just have to not save it all for your future if it going to make today more bearable. I am not saying spend foolishly on vacations or “stuff” but having somewhere comfortable to live so your family can thrive is just as important as saving up all of your money for “someday.” You have to live in the present.
 
Irishmom2 said:
If it were me, I would do whatever I could to move. I would pay for my groceries or whatever by credit card in order to free up the cash for the move. We would get some friends and make the move ourselves. If you are in a that small place, there can’t be that much to move. No need to pay someone. (When we were younger, my husband and I moved everything in a u-haul to our new home9 hours away. Unloaded it ourselves. So, it can be done.)

I don’t know how much your husband makes a year, but sometimes, you just have to not save it all for your future if it going to make today more bearable. I am not saying spend foolishly on vacations or “stuff” but having somewhere comfortable to live so your family can thrive is just as important as saving up all of your money for “someday.” You have to live in the present.
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Right. I wouldn’t encourage going into the red month after month–but you guys need a better “now” if you’re ever going to have a better “someday.”

Your future you needs your current you to sleep well and be functioning well.
 
Xantippe said:
Right. I wouldn’t encourage going into the red month after month–but you guys need a better “now” if you’re ever going to have a better “someday.”

Your future you needs your current you to sleep well and be functioning well.
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Yup.
 
We’re in the cheapest apartment around unless we move very far out, which would require buying a car, or to a place with no elevators, which I can’t do because of my knee issues. If we move, it will have to be to a 2br because no one will rent a 1br to us after she is 1 and we don’t want to move two years in a row. For a place not right by the interstate or lacking elevators, it will be minimum $1800 a month unless we score a good deal with a private condo rental. Right now we’re paying half our take home pay for rent and barely have anything left over after food and debt. We can’t move until he gets promoted.
 
I texted my husband and he agreed we should move as soon as his check clears after being promoted (hopefully in the next few weeks). I think last night really got to him since he was trying to write a paper.
 
AClaire11 said:
I texted my husband and he agreed we should move as soon as his check clears after being promoted (hopefully in the next few weeks). I think last night really got to him since he was trying to write a paper.
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Good. Go for the 2 bedroom one. You need it.
 
AClaire11 said:
Yeah, we would be able to stay there until #3 is 3yo if we are lucky enough to have that many!
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Dear friend…stop worrying about things that have not even happened yet.
A lot can happen. He could get transferred to Arizona! You could win the lotto! You could have triplets!

A lot of IF’s…eh?

They won’t do you any good in the present.
Your problem is now. Your solution should be pretty close to “now”.
Families grow, people change residences, job. That really isn’t part of the equation at present.

Have you looked at Dave Ramsey for ways to reduce the debt?
Xanti has oodles of links for that. 😉
 
pianistclare said:
Dear friend…stop worrying about things that have not even happened yet.
A lot can happen. He could get transferred to Arizona! You could win the lotto! You could have triplets!

A lot of IF’s…eh?

They won’t do you any good in the present.
Your problem is now. Your solution should be pretty close to “now”.
Families grow, people change residences, job. That really isn’t part of the equation at present.

Have you looked at Dave Ramsey for ways to reduce the debt?
Xanti has oodles of links for that. 😉
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I know, it’s just nice to know that it’s an option. I like to plan ahead to a fault.

Is there a secular version? I don’t think my husband would go for something so Bible based.

Twins run in my family, but triplets? What a blessing, but yikes haha
 
AClaire11 said:
I know, it’s just nice to know that it’s an option. I like to plan ahead to a fault.

Is there a secular version? I don’t think my husband would go for something so Bible based.

Twins run in my family, but triplets? What a blessing, but yikes haha
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There’s very little “Bible talk” in the books. He mentions it a few times and there’s a few verses, but it’s not a “churchy” book.
 
Oh oh I saw at first “help with - SHEEP training” 🙂

But I guest that works to…1,2,3,4…
 
AClaire11 said:
I know, it’s just nice to know that it’s an option. I like to plan ahead to a fault.

Is there a secular version? I don’t think my husband would go for something so Bible based.

Twins run in my family, but triplets? What a blessing, but yikes haha
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Dave Ramsey is not theological at all. It’s economy and math based. Look into it for sure. If your husband would discount it because the man is Christian the you have bigger issues than sleeping arrangements!

Dave Ramsey is an economist. Not a religious speaker author.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
Dave Ramsey is not theological at all. It’s economy and math based. Look into it for sure. If your husband would discount it because the man is Christian the you have bigger issues than sleeping arrangements!

Dave Ramsey is an economist. Not a religious speaker author.
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Yes. Absolutely.
 
Oh ok, the way some people describe it made it sound very churchy for some reason! Will look into it.
 
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