crushing on this girl but due to my social anxiety i couldn’t talk to her. From November 2013 to April 2014 I talked to her online anonymously. I was very sweet and kind to her and she said I was the ‘sweetest guy ever’ now she hates me because I was too slow, another guy asked her out, she refused to give up even though she liked the other guy despite me being handsome and kind, and the other guy didnt love her at the time and just asked her out because she liked him. she hates me because her boyfriend bullied me anonymously but I knew it was him and I went on a verbal rant online defending myself last year after I overcame my anxiety. Anyway, One day I had the worst day ever, and I cried when I came home, I told my father who obviously knew about my depression in the past and asked what was wrong. That was Monday 2/17/14. I am a huge fan of WWE wrestling and have been since I was 9. Tuesday night 2/18-19/14 I had this dream that I was standing in this dark grey funny looking place staring at a professional wrestler by the name of Big Daddy V/Viscera, he had a lot of names you can look him up. I had just watched this guy on tv, he left not long after I started watching. Anyway we were staring at each other for a few seconds then I began falling I felt this spinning heard this weird vibrating sound like hellicopter rotators and him looking down on me, he wasn’t smiling but he looked at me as if he knew every aspect of my life and loved me like God loves his children. Then smack, increased heart rate and I sudden knowledge that he had passed, as well as an intense feeling of shock and the most intense felling of love and reassurance I have ever felt, more intense than loving a family member or a girl/boy. Speaking of loving people romantically I had the worst 2014 ever and began to get over her in early 2015 when i got my therapy. I had had all these crazy spiritual experiences and was only 16 at this point. Ever since I was in my early teens if someone said they were atheist I was extremely offended. I found out about astral projection, something I did, not by choice obviously. I was on cloud 9 in the summer of 2015, I was as confident as ever and could show my kind personality to people that I was far too shy to do before. My father was raised my a catholic, and a protestant mother, hence why he is not catholic, the mothers religion is mostly enforced, and he died before i was born but i heard he was very abusive as most adults were as discipline in those days, he has lifted his hands to me as a kid like spanking as some parents do but as a teenager he has beaten me senseless about once a year since 2013. His brother my uncle is one one of the weirdest people I have met in my life. I do not think he has something against me I just think he is a very nasty person and if someone does something he thinks isn’t up to his standards he will ridicule them, ever since I was a kid he has bullied and made fun of me. He has just hated me for literally no reason. My parents don’t have the courage to stand up for me. In late August 2015 he insulted me which made me upset and angry. I was also being bullied in school in my new semester after summer vacation and the english teacher, my favorite teacher, immediately sorted it out. My anxiety came back, not social anxiety, but just general anxiety in early September and listening to the then popular ‘fight song’ by Rachel Platten got me through it. One week later, just days after the worst week of my life, one of my parents best friends, a couple, whose children were friendly with my siblings and i when were kids died. Once or twice a year we would go round to theres for a visit we’d order chinese food and the parents would talk and the kids would play. we met them in 2002 and in september 2015 the father a man who was overweight died of a heart attack while waiting for a bus. That night I had a dream about a cathedral i visited years ago on a school trip many students were in there singing hymns like hark the herald hymns i knew, then I had some other dreams that night i dont remember too well and the final part was just knowledge that someone had died, when my mother in tears told us the next day i knew it was him. In my final year of high school we had a good RE teacher and he talked a lot about life after death and those unbelievers and sinners go straight to hell, those with
