Dragono,
You have my prayers as well. Alcoholism runs in my hubby’s family. He has two alcoholic brothers and one is a recovering alcholic, 3 years sober. He went back and forth too like you and would stop and than continue. Have you joined AA?
One of the things that I saw when I was hospitalized in a VA hospital for pain management, is a lot of veterans who had this addiction. They had an (name removed by moderator)atient rehabilitation unit in the hospital. One night I went to the Eucharistic Chapel and found a man about 40 years old who was not Catholic, kneeling and crying so loud before the Tabernacle. My heart went out to him and I asked him what the problem was so that I could pray for him or with him. He looked up at me, with a very wet face from tears, and said to me, “I have tried and tried over and over again to quit drinking and I keep going back. I don’t know what to do. I want it to stop!” I started to cry as well. I put my hand over his back and prayed for him for I did not have words of wisdom except to tell him that he was in the right place to ask for help. He even bowed down and he was not a Catholic. He told me he was a Baptist when he was a little boy. I still think of that man today. I pray for him and hope he conquered his addiction with and only with Christ.
If you went to Mass today, it was the story of the Vine and the Branches. Jesus is the Vine and we are the branches and apart from Him, we can do nothing. Attach yourself to Jesus. I have told this to my BIL also, but he has yet to do it. He fears doing it for other reasons, some bad life choices he doesn’t want to give up. But you, try to come to closer to Jesus. Read about Him in the Bible, visit Him in the Tabernacle, Receive Him frequently in Holy Communion. One thing that I have seen in my husband’s life is that when they could not handle daily stress, they learned to turn to something (alcohol) to make them feel better. They had to keep increasing the amount to numb themselves from their life’s problem. They found out like many alcoholics that it doesn’t work. Alcohol may make you feel better for a short time, but not in the long term. It doesn’t make you happy and in fact can cause problems with family, friends or the law if you drive under the influence. It is not worth it.
Stressed out and need something to make you feel better—**TRY JESUS! **Jesus is waiting for you, Dragono, with open arms. He is waiting for you to put your life in His Hands. He will be the ONLY one to help you overcome your addiction.
God bless you and your will be in my prayers from now on.