S
sugarytwinkle
Guest
Recently I’m doing really terrible things hurting my family and close friends. I lie to them about who I’m with and what I’m doing and I can’t help myself. I’m having awful thoughts of getting revenge on certain people who hurt me in extreme ways such as murder that I know are wrong but are still so tempting. I’ve become obsessed with looking at ‘gruesome’ images of real life people who have died horrific deaths and I can’t feel any empathy for them. I don’t feel anything at all except this burning desire or this guilt like now and I know I should but I can’t even love properly there’s just this desire to take a life of even those people I ‘love’ and I just don’t know what to do I mean I know I should turn to God but I feel I can’t because if I’m disappointed in me for these behaviours He surely will be so please pray that I can be close to Him again and this nonsense in my head can leave. I’ve had mental health problems most of my life but I’m so confused to my behaviour because I KNOW inside it is wrong and I will NOT kill anybody but it’s still like nothing ever before and I daren’t risk being sectioned. Just please, please pray for me.
