N
Nairovyg
Guest
Lately I’ve been feeling a slight emptiness and I thought maybe because I haven’t been fully devoting myself in prayer and in reading the bible. So last night I was listening to worship songs and prayed here and there when something will come to mind. Right before falling asleep I asked God what is my vocation, what is his will for my life and in my head I said be like mother Theresa. As soon as that thought came across I felt a repulsive feeling. I was filled with so much sadness and started crying. I admire a nuns life but I don’t know if that’s for me but I also do want to do Gods will. I woke up today with this huge knot in my chest and it hasn’t going away. Today is my dad’s birthday and I couldn’t fully celebrate with him because each minute that passed by the sadness grew and I didn’t want to break down crying again in front of him. Also sometimes I doubt myself and my faith in God, my biggest fear is that I might turn away from him and I don’t want that. I’m scared that the distance between God and I will grow.

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