C
califmommy
Guest
Hello,
I have been reading these threads off and on for a few months and have come to respect all the wisdom here. I’m hoping that if I share my situation your prayers and support will get me through.
Today was a fairly typical day. It’s 9 pm and I just heard a glass crash on the floor. My husband fell asleep in a chair with a drink in his hand an hour ago. Needless to say, he’s been drinking. He does this nearly every day. He starts with a cocktail before dinner, a bottle of wine with dinner and, if he’s awake, more cocktails after dinner. I used to put him to bed and clean up after him, but I’ve learned that that isn’t good in the long run and he needs to take responsibility for his actions. I’ve cried, yelled, offered silent prayers and it will get better for a day or two, then we’re right back where we started.
I’m exhausted. We have two girls (2 and a half and almost 4 years). I cringe each night as he drunkenly tries to read a story to them. I’ve been to talk to a priest and to al anon meetings. I know I can’t control nor cure his drinking and that I didn’t cause it. I know he’s suffering. He’s trying to numb himself with alcohol. We’re in counseling, but he hates going and many weeks has a “pressing” work engagement. I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t go on like this. What’s hardest is keeping up appearances for his family and friends (and my family too). Very few people know about his problem.
We’ve been married almost five years. I’m 43 and he’s 41. I’m so embarrassed that it’s gotten this bad. He wasn’t like this before. He started drinking when I got pregnant with our first. It got worse from there. He wants me to have more children, but I won’t until he sobers up. And, frankly, given my age, I doubt I could. He has other behaviors that are destructive to the marriage (online pornography and a brief affair), but I believe they are all tied together. I believe he is numbing himself against some pain he can’t articulate. Nearly every day he says he’s sorry and that he loves me. He thanks me for not leaving him. I feel so lonely and lost. I’m trying to type this through my tears.
Please, if you could say a prayer for him, I’d be grateful. Thank you.
Respectfully,
Maria
I have been reading these threads off and on for a few months and have come to respect all the wisdom here. I’m hoping that if I share my situation your prayers and support will get me through.
Today was a fairly typical day. It’s 9 pm and I just heard a glass crash on the floor. My husband fell asleep in a chair with a drink in his hand an hour ago. Needless to say, he’s been drinking. He does this nearly every day. He starts with a cocktail before dinner, a bottle of wine with dinner and, if he’s awake, more cocktails after dinner. I used to put him to bed and clean up after him, but I’ve learned that that isn’t good in the long run and he needs to take responsibility for his actions. I’ve cried, yelled, offered silent prayers and it will get better for a day or two, then we’re right back where we started.
I’m exhausted. We have two girls (2 and a half and almost 4 years). I cringe each night as he drunkenly tries to read a story to them. I’ve been to talk to a priest and to al anon meetings. I know I can’t control nor cure his drinking and that I didn’t cause it. I know he’s suffering. He’s trying to numb himself with alcohol. We’re in counseling, but he hates going and many weeks has a “pressing” work engagement. I’m at my wit’s end. I can’t go on like this. What’s hardest is keeping up appearances for his family and friends (and my family too). Very few people know about his problem.
We’ve been married almost five years. I’m 43 and he’s 41. I’m so embarrassed that it’s gotten this bad. He wasn’t like this before. He started drinking when I got pregnant with our first. It got worse from there. He wants me to have more children, but I won’t until he sobers up. And, frankly, given my age, I doubt I could. He has other behaviors that are destructive to the marriage (online pornography and a brief affair), but I believe they are all tied together. I believe he is numbing himself against some pain he can’t articulate. Nearly every day he says he’s sorry and that he loves me. He thanks me for not leaving him. I feel so lonely and lost. I’m trying to type this through my tears.
Please, if you could say a prayer for him, I’d be grateful. Thank you.
Respectfully,
Maria