PMS, arguments and mood swings

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Oh I agree Sr Sally!! For some reason though, even when we try our best to deal with our pms, it seems that still would not be good enough for some of our male posters…😛 They dont understand so they could not possibly comprehend what we are speaking of. It seems that their attiude is “oh just shake it off”…They are applying a male macho attitude to a issue that is strictly female oriented…👍
 
For me, I often find that I’m not really aware that I’m pmsing while I’m in the midst of it. It just sort of sneaks up on me. I realize that that is kind of silly since I know when my pms week will be, but you know life just sort of sweeps me along.

It would be a good idea I think to prepare spiritually by praying more in preparation and throughout the week. Just gotta remember…
 
JFonseka said:
I’m starting to think marriage isn’t a good idea anymore.
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I hope I don’t scare you away from marriage, if that’s what God calls you to.
On the flip side of these mood swings, my husband–without changing a thing–will soon become the Sexiest Man in America in another part of my cycle when different hormones kick in.
 
Siena said:
Yes. I do just a you described. I hold it in, trying to keep peace, telling myself over and over “it’s no big deal”. Then, it just builds up and up and up. By the time the hormones hit, WHAM. The ranting just ends up being bigger than it has to be.

However, I really don’t think trying to bring these things up during the rest of the month would make much of a difference IMHO …
(We did talk already, and everything is fine, for this month. 😉 :rolleyes: )

It’s not ideal, but it seems to work.
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Thanks for sharing Siena. I’m glad you two are okay again for this month. 🙂 (See guys, it doesn’t last too long.)
 
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this yet, but DO NOT post any medical advice, not even ‘maybe take vitamins’ because I started a thread IDENTICAL to this one a while ago, and it was locked.

How do I deal with PMS mood swings? I try my best to think things through logically, which doesn’t always work… my bf usually understands, as he’s the one I tend to take it out on, after being polite to everyone else all day. If I snap or say something nasty, I try to apologize right afterwards. I know what you mean about some things being real issues that are aggravated by the PMS… I don’t know what to do about those myself. I guess if it’s important enough, I’ll mention it when I’m not PMSy. It’s really hard, because it seems SO logical to get mad then!!! I guess it might be something one can train themselves to recognize, but at the time, you think you are perfectly justified in getting angry.
 
dulcissima said:
…I think as women, we need to know where in our cycle we are, and we really need to just back off whenever possible. I mean it is great if those around you are understanding, but just because one is PMSing is not a blanket excuse to be mean and argumentative. …And really we should just be thankful that our bouts with such extreme emotion are short-lived, go away, and when they do return it is at a time that we can completely predict.
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I agree that women should not use PMS as an excuse for poor behavior. I also agree that it is extremely helpful to know where in our cycles. But in some cases, cycles aren’t regular therefore PMS is not as easy to recognize when going through it. Knowing the intensity of feelings is brought on by hormones helps a lot. Otherwise, like Pumkinbeast said, it seems so logical to get upset.
 
dulcissima said:
I disagree. It does not take two people to fight. If one person is set on fighting and is going to interpret everything in an antagonistic manner, it really only takes one person. If the other person is being rational but at the same time not going to say the sky is orange when they know it is blue, there can still be a fight. Even if the calm rational person doesn’t want to argue about it, they can still be bullied and yelled at and called names if they do not agree to the irrational person’s point of view.

But it physically takes two (or more) people to have a fight. ONE person can certainly cause unpleasantness and some can be rude, mean, nasty etc. But that isn’t a fight. When I used to work in a grocery store I would occasionally have the odd customer who yelled at me, got nasty, mean etc but if I didn’t say anything mean or nasty back it couldn’t be defined as a fight. In the break room it was defined as “I got **** on by a customer over some tomatoes today”. NOT a fight.

I think as women, we need to know where in our cycle we are, and we really need to just back off whenever possible. I mean it is great if those around you are understanding, but just because one is PMSing is not a blanket excuse to be mean and argumentative. It’s not any more of an excuse than when an abusive husband is angry because he thinks his wife means something offensive when she is just saying dinner is ready. Just because he might be somewhat insane, it does not excuse his behavior and the way he treats those whom he should love. And really we should just be thankful that our bouts with such extreme emotion are short-lived, go away, and when they do return it is at a time that we can completely predict.
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Yes, we as PMSing women need to accept responsibility for our actions. But, just as I cut my hubby slack when i know he is very tired from work or sick etc I should be able to expect the same in return. I think there is a big difference in being abusive and being irritable.:rolleyes:

If there are women who verbally abuse their spouses and children due to PMS then they should be getting help.

malia
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gardenswithkids said:
For the men reading this thread who may not understand the emotional mood swings many women experience, (and for any women reading this who may not experience them), some mood swings can occur a few days *before *a woman’s period. Honestly, it wasn’t until I began NFP charting that I even noticed the pattern to my moods as the worst of mine happen a few days early. Knowing to expect it helps me prepare to deal with the onslaught of emotions.
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Yep. After a few days of PMS I actually look forward to the first day of my period. Sure, I’ll have cramps and be uncomfortable physically, but at least I feel like I’ve regained control over my mind.

I’m the opposite of Rayne: mine was way worse when I was a teen. If I wasn’t yelling at someone I was in the bathroom sobbing over nothing. Now I just get irritable, impatient, and have ridiculous cravings for potato chips. Oh, and the insomnia. I think that’s actually the worst part. I like the potato chips. 😃
 
gardenswithkids said:
Deb, that was very helpful, especially your description of the feelings.
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Oh good - thank you!
I’ve been pregnant and nursing a lot the past few years, and I can count on one hand the number of periods I’ve had. These emotions certainly haven’t been the norm for me. Since my cycle isn’t yet back to normal, it was harder this time to keep my perspective in check. It helps a lot to realize it will pass quickly, and it’s really weird when they do. One afternoon it suddenly felt like the storm had just passed, and that the skies were mostly sunny and clear again. The next day, I got my period.
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Aww, it’s even worse for you, then - you’re basically out of practice at having your periods, aren’t you? That’s harder … nothing like taking something nasty and not being as familiar with it as you were.

:hug1: Don’t worry, sweetie, it does get a bit easier. 🙂
 
ONE person can certainly cause unpleasantness and some can be rude, mean, nasty etc. But that isn’t a fight.
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Malia, you have a point there. I can’t blame our argument entirely on PMS; we both played a part in it, including my husband who was* not* just an innocent victim of my bad mood.

While neither of us recognized “PMS” last weekend, I told my husband numerous times before an argument broke out that I was very tired and wanted to get some rest. He kept pushing me to do things I didn’t want to do at the time because I was exhausted. Of course, it’s easier for both of us to “blame PMS” instead of resolving the real issues.

I’m no longer PMSing, and I want sort through what happened so we can avoid arguments in the future. I spoke with my husband last night about this thread. (I asked him to read it, but he hasn’t yet.) We talked for few minutes about it, then he turned on the tv.

As my husband was shutting down in our conversation, I made the following point: Physiologically, my uterus stores up stuff for about a month. If I don’t get pregnant, hormones shift and my body gets rid of what it stored. Mentally, I also store up stuff. If he won’t listen to me and discuss my concerns when I’m in a rational frame of mind, those concerns may all come out when my hormones shift.

Just as I would rather not have to deal with my period, I would also rather not have to deal with some of this other stuff. I should use my intensified feelings pre-menstrually as “warning lights” in my relationships. I do not have to act on those feelings immediately when I’m hyper-emotional, but I should probably stop ignoring them.
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Cravings for potato chips are NEVER ridiculous.
😉
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Potato chips with chocolate doughnuts, yummmmmmmmmmm…

I don’t have cramps or any kind of pain. I have terrible mood swings. I don’t cry, I rage. It’s awful. In my case it’s also heridatary (sp?). My mom and my older sister went through these rages too. In my case it gets worse as I age (just turned 40 last week 🙂 ) I also got terrible post partum depression with my last baby (something I hadn’t gotton with the other three kids). I noticed that once I got through the PPD, my PMS started getting worse.

Aside from potato chips and doughnuts, I use herbal remedies. Since we can’t post that stuff, I suggest you pick up some books about that.

Kim
 
…and here I was considering potato chips and doughnuts herbal remedys!!😃 😛 😃
 
I can always tell when PMS has begun because I feel annoyed at other drivers because they are on the road with me. Mind you, they don’t have to do anything, just exist.😃

I jokingly told my husband once that I have pre-PMS, PMS, and post-PMS, which means I’m normal one week a month. He said, “How can you tell which week?”😛

Seriously, with PMS I find myself getting irritated very quickly at things that normally don’t bother me at all. I also cry at the drop of a hat.

I do let my husband know when the PMS is starting so he will be prepared. He worries about me when I cry and always thinks it’s something he’s done to upset me. I have to reassure him that it’s me, not him.
 
Hi,
I was diagnosed with PMDD. I too routinely want to rage at my husband and have at my kids for minor things. I keep my mouth shut to keep the fights from turning into everything is my fault one-sided tirades by my husband against me. He does not have a filter between his brain and his mouth and has no problem dressing me down for sometimes the littlest thing. Since my best friend died 9 years ago I haven’t had anyone to talk to to help me through alot of my everyday struggles (except God) He has a strange way of answering sometimes. Maybe we could email each other through those tough times?:angel1: :hug1:
 
Ok I am sorry for the medical/medicine advice. Didn’t realize until I read another post this wasn’t allowed. It may not even get through so forgetaboutit:shrug:
 
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