Poll: I can understand why people leave the Roman Catholic Church

[twopekinguys]

Being in charge of our parish RCIA program, I see it happening alot.

I will say though, If a person has a problem with the teachings of the Church (insert issue here), I would much rather them be up front and honest about it and leave the Church, than to be sitting in the pew being a hypocrite, and just going through the motions.

Am I happy they leave the Church? Absolutely not

Can I understand why they left? Yes

Something that I tell every class of RCIA…“I have never dragged, or seen anyone dragged to the sacraments. They are there waiting for you when you’re ready.”

 

[doanli]

I think it’s the culture we live in. The scandals haven’t helped much either, but they were necessary. (A purification).

I think a lot of people haven’t been catechized that well either— we need to teach people the rich history of the Church and the whys and hows.

Just my 2 cents.

 

[KathleenGee]

To clarify, people in ministry learn that there are people returning back to the Church after living a different life, have issues, and do not understand the nature and mission of the Church yet…so they can be abusive, malign or do worse to people who ‘get in their way’…unusual…but they are out there.

This problem of abusive parishioners isn’t a Catholic problem. Protestant clergy also know about these ‘problematic’ individuals…who take on individual parishioners for not going to Mass last Sunday with a lame excuse and take the place of the pastor…one lady wanted to leave the church because a former activist hit on her in the parking lot one day after a Bible discussion class. There is a book out called, ‘Clergy Killers’, and it is about what Protestant ministers are dealing with regarding histrionic, obsessive personalities…one can just say hello and visit with a newcomer and then later find out you are in a transference relationship with the individual. You have just become the person that person left in life; you remind that person of this other person and whatever baggage and unresolved issues that person had is now your problem. These people not only hit on clergy but on members of their churches…

 

[Lutheranteach]

I think there are some that leave their church as a way of saying “I have no confidence in the leadership/hierarchy” and I wouldn’t say this is exclusive to Catholics.

 

[Samantha79]

If they read the hateful comments on the Trad forum at CA, I can see why they’d want to leave or run far away if they were thinking of becoming Catholic! I’ve never read so much women’bashing in my life…and it goes way past altar girls…we’re talking about some absolute animosity towards all women…I’ve encountered some recent posts that all but stated women were created for men to wipe their feet on!

 

[Carlan]

I voted yes, I can understand why they leave.

They leave for one of two reasons.

Either the teachings of the Church are viewed by them as being too hard to live with or they leave because of pride, in that they think they know better than the Church.

My understanding this does not mean that I think it is right, they are wrong to leave, it is an escape for them to do as they wish rather than doing what they should do.

I think you are so right on this.

I remember an old ,old saying…'The Catholic Church is the hardest Church to live in, and the easiest Church to die in".
Peace, Carlan

 

[distracted]

Being in charge of our parish RCIA program, I see it happening alot.

I will say though, If a person has a problem with the teachings of the Church (insert issue here), I would much rather them be up front and honest about it and leave the Church, than to be sitting in the pew being a hypocrite, and just going through the motions.

eady."

not me… they are better off sitting in the pews being a “hypocrite”… because it is ALWAYS better to be in the Presence of Christ than NOT to be… and some time in the future they will find the answers they need… "Seek and you will find"

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[Rence]

I will try again to post using wording that makes sense! I have several friends who have left the Church. In all cases, the reasons they left have to do with social issues - mainly artificial contraception and infertility treatment issues. One dear woman told me that even though she now attends the Church of England, she will remain Catholic her whole life. She was in a horrible situation and chose to have fertility treatments that eventually ended with the birth of a beautiful baby girl. I have tried to persuade her to come back to the Church and go to confession, but she said she will not be a hypocrite. I’m saddened for those who think there is no way back to the Church.

I am saddened for her as well, and I don’t even know her. But, I can understand this woman: how can she be “sorry” for the birth of a beautiful baby girl that she’s been wanting, even if it was done via IVF?

 

[Rence]

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weird… She undoubtedly did fertily treatments that involved fertilizing many eggs and then discarding some?? otherwise, why would she feel ashamed to return to the Church?

How could someone do that… destroy some of their children … Yes, i can understand wanting children…but you don’t destroy some o f your children in order to have another…

but whatever… everyone is not me, obviously…

too bad…

You can use all of the eggs fertilized (and destroy none).

 

[distracted]

You can use all of the eggs fertilized (and destroy none).

most of the time the doctor recommends destroying the ones not used… the other optioon is to freeze them… which is think is deplorable… Would you want to be frozen for umpteen years… and then God knows what happens to them in the end… if no one wants to unfreeze them… its HORRIBLE to play with life like this… God is the one who gives life… and He is the only one who should “play” with it…

hmm… i don’t know the Church’s official stand on that freezing stuff…

but i am sure they are NOT in favor of it…

 

[Rence]

If they read the hateful comments on the Trad forum at CA, I can see why they’d want to leave or run far away if they were thinking of becoming Catholic! I’ve never read so much women’bashing in my life…and it goes way past altar girls…we’re talking about some absolute animosity towards all women…I’ve encountered some recent posts that all but stated women were created for men to wipe their feet on!

You’re right, but that’s not a Catholic teaching, that’s just a ‘bad Catholic who wants to live in the Stone Age"’ teaching. The previous pope didn’t write a 40+ page document apologizing to women for the way the past Church has treated them for nothing

 

[PatriceA]

I can understand why some people feel they need to leave the Church. I don’t think its just pride either, there are as many reasons why someone would leave the Church as there are people who do so and their indiviudal backgrounds and situations that cause them to start the process of even considering leaving.

Personally, I hope I never am the one person that breaks the camel’s back for not being able to understand the struggles that people are going through when they are contemplating leaving the Catholic Church. It can’t be an easy decision for most, and if we can’t understand why someone would leave, how are we ever going to reach a person in that crisis?

 

[Rence]

most of the time the doctor recommends destroying the ones not used… the other optioon is to freeze them… which is think is deplorable… Would you want to be frozen for umpteen years… and then God knows what happens to them in the end… if no one wants to unfreeze them… its HORRIBLE to play with life like this… God is the one who gives life… and He is the only one who should “play” with it…

hmm… i don’t know the Church’s official stand on that freezing stuff…

but i am sure they are NOT in favor of it…

The doctor can make any kind of recommendations he likes. I know a woman who used all three that she had fertilized. I do know someone who used a few now, and a few later.

You can use all the eggs fertilized if that is what the client wants to do.

God is still the only One who gives life. IVF or not, it’s not as if humans made something out of nothing. Humans may have the raw material, no different than a ‘natural’ conception except it took place in a petri dish and not in a fallopian tube, but God is the only One who can create life.

 

[distracted]

If they read the hateful comments on the Trad forum at CA, I can see why they’d want to leave or run far away if they were thinking of becoming Catholic! I’ve never read so much women’bashing in my life…and it goes way past altar girls…we’re talking about some absolute animosity towards all women…I’ve encountered some recent posts that all but stated women were created for men to wipe their feet on!

well, with my experience of women… how they treat ME (and other women)… maybe they half way deserve some of it…

it seems to me that women generally can be very hateful… toward other women. They just ADORE their husbands (most of the time) even when their husband is abusive… and their children … but they won’t tolerate ONE little speck of imperfection (their definition thereof) in other women… gets pretty tiresome… and women were the ones who 1st disobeyed God in the Garden… so they are easily deceived… in my opinion…

Also it seems that a lot of women these days are the ones fighting to keep abortion legal…
and they do NOT have logical reasons for that… not that there is a very logical reason but some “reasons” are obviously more logicl than others… Generally speaking i don’t think women think very objectively…

I am a woman… but (not to brag) i feel i am an exception to most of this… I do not treat women any differently than i do men… unless they start acting like… the above… and even then… i don’t lower myself to that kind of level…

 

[distracted]

The doctor can make any kind of recommendations he likes. I know a woman who used all three that she had fertilized. I do know someone who used a few now, and a few later.

You can use all the eggs fertilized if that is what the client wants to do.

God is still the only One who gives life. IVF or not, it’s not as if humans made something out of nothing. Humans may have the raw material, no different than a ‘natural’ conception except it took place in a petri dish and not in a fallopian tube, but God is the only One who can create life.

if the Roman Catholic Church teaches against this (and i am pretty sure it always does, even you use all of the eggs), people should not be promoting this…

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[SalesianSDB]

Being in charge of our parish RCIA program, I see it happening alot.

I will say though, If a person has a problem with the teachings of the Church (insert issue here), I would much rather them be up front and honest about it and leave the Church, than to be sitting in the pew being a hypocrite, and just going through the motions.

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR has said many many times on his program Sunday Night Live with Fr. Benedict Groeschel on EWTN: “I prefer a good Protestant, a good Jew, a good Moslem, a good atheist, to a bad Catholic.”

I would have to agree with Fr. Benedict.

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

haven’t you known t hose who leave cuz of rudeness of parishioners or (and/or) priest??

the times i have wanted to leave (but never will) have been due to that… Some Catholics take the cake on not acting very Christian…

AMEN! Although I’ve never had a rude priests. I think people/children/teens leave too because as Catholics we don’t do a very good job of explaining our faith. I know my parents/grandparents sure didn’t. And when I was looking at coming back, some simple questions such as “why do you not eat meat on Friday during Lent” could not be answered by most Catholics. Shameful :tsktsk:uch:

But on the flip side…I came back because I felt called to start going to my local parish and found a priests that can REALLY teach! And he has a great sense of humor. And for the most part…the Catholics I’ve been around there are much better at acting Christian!

Although according to some of my Protestant friends…I’m no longer Christian and in deep danger of going to hell…

 

[distracted]

AMEN! Although I’ve never had a rude priests. I think people/children/teens leave too because as Catholics we don’t do a very good job of explaining our faith. I know my parents/grandparents sure didn’t. And when I was looking at coming back, some simple questions such as “why do you not eat meat on Friday during Lent” could not be answered by most Catholics. Shameful :tsktsk:uch:

But on the flip side…I came back because I felt called to start going to my local parish and found a priests that can REALLY teach! And he has a great sense of humor. And for the most part…the Catholics I’ve been around there are much better at acting Christian!

Although according to some of my Protestant friends…I’m no longer Christian and in deep danger of going to hell…

so how do you deal w/ that? how can you be friends w/ people like that? who think that kind of thing about your religion??

whn i came back… and studied the Faith fairly in-depth… i lost a lot of friends/family members… they weren’t very good friends anyhow or that wouldn’t have happened… but… i can’t imagine being friends w/ someone now who didn’t understand or want to u/stand my faith… the bible says not to be unequally yoked w/ unbelivers… I think that goes for those who claim to believe… but don’t ever investigate the First (only) Church… just my thoughts…

 

[distracted]

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR has said many many times on his program Sunday Night Live with Fr. Benedict Groeschel on EWTN: “I prefer a good Protestant, a good Jew, a good Moslem, a good atheist, to a bad Catholic.”

I would have to agree with Fr. Benedict.

i tend to agree myself… there is nothing like a “bad Catholic”… i ought to know… i kinda used to be one… but i had the excuse of being uncatchized… some don’t have that excuse…

 

[1sicht]

Would you drop out of school because of a rude classmate or even an unapproachable professor? Would you leave your country because of rude neighbors or arrogant political leaders?

Hugely faulty analogies, Corki.

But yes, in fact I would change schools, if the school practiced PC to the point of stifling peaceable dissent and true free thinking, and ditto for a country that becomes despotic (no, I am not implying that the Vatican is despotic, please don’t twist my words).