Poll: I can understand why people leave the Roman Catholic Church

[JonNC]

I usually get irritated (used to) when i hear of a Catholic who wants to leave the Church. I think to myself: How could that person leave the Mass? the Sacraments? the Real Presence?

Of course a lot of them aren’t catechized & have never spent much time in the Real Presence…

but that being said, i often (nowadays) do not get so irritated. I can understand why people leave… rude, apathetic priests, unorthodox homilies, hypocricy… etc… Well, i can understand them wanting to leave, but i still have a problem with them actually leaving.

I have never heard a story of someone wanting to leave, talking to the priest about it and being talked out of it… I’m sure it happens… but it almost seems like a lot of priests don’t really care… (?)

hmmm…

It is often the case that the grass is not always greener on the other side of the fence.
Jon

 

[AlwaysAsking]

I’m answering for my ex-Catholic husband…

He actually had great support from his youth group, but wasn’t really catechized and nobody at his church ever went to confession, etc., so it started to seem stale and hypocritical. Then, as so often happens, a bible Christian came along and ‘proved’ that everything he had believed was wrong.

My husband couldn’t resist the promise of having a personal relationship with Jesus. If he had spent his whole life in the church and didn’t know that was available to him in a Catholic church, can anybody blame him for leaving?

He didn’t go talk to a priest before he left… but if the priest doesn’t encourage people to do that, how many will?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m hoping to start RCIA classes this fall and I’d LOVE to have my husband join me. But I think if we keep in mind the difference between ‘real’ and ‘ideal’ faith experiences, it’s easier to understand how people fall through the cracks, or drift away looking for something more fulfilling.

 

[Rence]

if the Roman Catholic Church teaches against this (and i am pretty sure it always does, even you use all of the eggs), people should not be promoting this…

.
.

---

I did not promote “this”. I replied that all the eggs can be used, in reponse to your comment about wasted eggs…saying that God is still the only One who gives life is correct and within the teachings of the Church… saying that IVF or not, it’s not as if humans made something out of nothing is still the Truth. Saying that Humans may have the raw material, no different than a ‘natural’ conception except it took place in a petri dish and not in a fallopian tube, but God is the only One who can create life is also in line with the Church. These comments have nothing to do with promoting IVF.***

 

[Rence]

AMEN! Although I’ve never had a rude priests. I think people/children/teens leave too because as Catholics we don’t do a very good job of explaining our faith. I know my parents/grandparents sure didn’t. And when I was looking at coming back, some simple questions such as “why do you not eat meat on Friday during Lent” could not be answered by most Catholics. Shameful :tsktsk:uch:

But on the flip side…I came back because I felt called to start going to my local parish and found a priests that can REALLY teach! And he has a great sense of humor. And for the most part…the Catholics I’ve been around there are much better at acting Christian!

Although according to some of my Protestant friends…I’m no longer Christian and in deep danger of going to hell…

I know what you mean, but that would be the same if you were a Catholic who converted to Protestantism though. Your Catholic friends would be telling you that you were in deep danger of going to hell.

 

[Corki]

Hugely faulty analogies, Corki.

But yes, in fact I would change schools, if the school practiced PC to the point of stifling peaceable dissent and true free thinking, and ditto for a country that becomes despotic (no, I am not implying that the Vatican is despotic, please don’t twist my words).

No analogy is perfect.

I didn’t say “change schools”, I said drop out of school. If you have problems with a priest and find a better experience at another parish, great! But you don’t leave the Church over it.

As for the second analogy, you proved my point. You would leave if the country became despotic, but not if there were a few rude countrymen and some bad politicians.

 

[Araninski]

Actually while your statement may be true in some cases is not the main reason.

I live in a country called Panama, on Central America. This country used to be fully Catholic, as well as many countries in all of Latin America. Now that is changing, the best example of this phenomenon being Brazil.

The reason why Catholics leave the Roman Catholic Church is because either they don’t get in the faith (nominal Christians) or they can’t find the spiritual needs in the Catholic Church. Normally of all of these people who leave the RCC changes to a Evangelical Pentecostal/Charismatic Church where they find what they need, they change from their sinner life to a life of sanctity. All of the kind brothers and sisters on these churches help people with all their problems and even make people want to evangelize because they make people have hunger for saving souls for Jesus.

Here is an article related to it.

God bless!

 

[JRRTFAN]

The fact of the matter is they don’t leave the Catholic Church. They leave the presentation of what is called the Catholic Church in their experience. For instance, roll back the clock 17 years, my wife was an EMHC, a CCD teacher, a rosary group leader, on the parish council, we were a FOCUS couple for marriage prep.

Over time our parish became more and more managed by ladies who had zero tolerance for stodgy old Catholicism. They took over, she searched for other parishes, found more of the same. (Our then bishop, may he rest in peace, was a poet and not much on the discipline. The whole diocese fell into disrepair. He was followed up by a bishop trying to deal with population growth and fund raising.

She got involved with Bible Study Felowship Internaional (that’s French for fundamentalist) and was captivated by the Bible (and the reality of right, wrong, sin, woman’s ordination, all the stuff the CTA crowd abhor). and that was the 8 lane highway out of the Church.

The point being, she didn’t leave the Church, the Church in this diocese left her as she looked for truth and found it not in these parts.

The kids went when she went, this was probably 90% my fault for not beating up the DRE and the pastor and there are a whole bunch of us who are going to have to answer for it. It’s 0% her fault as she was just looking for truth. It’s hard to say: The truth is X when the parish and diocese say the truth is Y.

So I can entirely understand why people leave.

 

[cathdoki]

I will try again to post using wording that makes sense! I have several friends who have left the Church. In all cases, the reasons they left have to do with social issues - mainly artificial contraception and infertility treatment issues. One dear woman told me that even though she now attends the Church of England, she will remain Catholic her whole life. She was in a horrible situation and chose to have fertility treatments that eventually ended with the birth of a beautiful baby girl. I have tried to persuade her to come back to the Church and go to confession, but she said she will not be a hypocrite. I’m saddened for those who think there is no way back to the Church.

Are fertility treatments against Church teaching? I guess it depends on what the treatments were.

 

[cathdoki]

If they read the hateful comments on the Trad forum at CA, I can see why they’d want to leave or run far away if they were thinking of becoming Catholic! I’ve never read so much women’bashing in my life…and it goes way past altar girls…we’re talking about some absolute animosity towards all women…I’ve encountered some recent posts that all but stated women were created for men to wipe their feet on!

Wow…I’ve never seen anything like that here. Most of the friends I’ve made are women. And that goes beyond the friendship list that I have here.

 

[Rence]

Are fertility treatments against Church teaching? I guess it depends on what the treatments were.

Not all fertility treatments are against the Catholic Church’s rules. I’m not sure what all is allowed or not allowed, but IVF is against the rules of the Church, from what I understand, because it is not “natural” and does not include the “unitive” property that is required, and that is achieved, via the marital embrace. Freezing embryos is not allowed by the Catholic Church because it’s “tampering” with a fertilized egg. Collecting semen can be sinful, but I believe there are ways that adhere to the rules of the Church that can be used to collect semen for testing.

 

[cathdoki]

Not all fertility treatments are against the Catholic Church’s rules. I’m not sure what all is allowed or not allowed, but IVF is against the rules of the Church, from what I understand, because it is not “natural” and does not include the “unitive” property that is required, and that is achieved, via the marital embrace. Freezing embryos is not allowed by the Catholic Church because it’s “tampering” with a fertilized egg. Collecting semen can be sinful, but I believe there are ways that adhere to the rules of the Church that can be used to collect semen for testing.

I agree with you on all that, but I didn’t realize that that would be considered fertility treatment. I’ve always thought of fertility treatment as treatment to help a women become pregnant through natural ways. Oh well, I certainly appreciate your (name removed by moderator)ut.

 

[mflorence]

I usually get irritated (used to) when i hear of a Catholic who wants to leave the Church. I think to myself: How could that person leave the Mass? the Sacraments? the Real Presence?

Of course a lot of them aren’t catechized & have never spent much time in the Real Presence…

but that being said, i often (nowadays) do not get so irritated. I can understand why people leave… rude, apathetic priests, unorthodox homilies, hypocricy… etc… Well, i can understand them wanting to leave, but i still have a problem with them actually leaving.

I have never heard a story of someone wanting to leave, talking to the priest about it and being talked out of it… I’m sure it happens… but it almost seems like a lot of priests don’t really care… (?)

hmmm…

Hi - I did it, but I’m not clear on what the specific question was. What would you like to know?

 

[kozlosap]

Wow…I’ve never seen anything like that here. Most of the friends I’ve made are women. And that goes beyond the friendship list that I have here.

It is sad on the Traditional Catholic Forum. I’ve been involved on a thread in that forum that is so sad it almost hurts. I truly don’t believe that most members on CAF have the same views of women that some do on the "Alter Girls … thread. I’ve met many wonderful people here of all different religions!

 

[ceraali1]

If he had spent his whole life in the church and didn’t know that was available to him in a Catholic church, can anybody blame him for leaving?
alcohol treatment centers virginia

 

[twopekinguys]

not me… they are better off sitting in the pews being a “hypocrite”… because it is ALWAYS better to be in the Presence of Christ than NOT to be… and some time in the future they will find the answers they need… "Seek and you will find"

.
.

So, you would rather have someone sitting in the pew, that doesn’t believe in the true presence receiving Holy Communion?

You would rather have someone that openly supports abortion sitting in the pew, receiving Holy Communion?

Do you see where this is going?

I’m sorry, but I would rather not have someone who doesn’t have respect for Holy Communion going through the motions in order to fill the pews.

I agree with “Seek and Ye Shall Find”, but…we need to let them go seek the truth in order for them to come back to it.

I believe Christ is present in many many places, and I don’t believe he leads people on wild goose chases. However, I do believe he is on their journey with them, guiding them back home.

 

[twopekinguys]

Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR has said many many times on his program Sunday Night Live with Fr. Benedict Groeschel on EWTN: “I prefer a good Protestant, a good Jew, a good Moslem, a good atheist, to a bad Catholic.”

I would have to agree with Fr. Benedict.

I wish I would have read your post before I responded.

You and he are right on target!!

 

[twopekinguys]

I’m a little confused on your position with this.

In one post, you understand them wanting to leave because of hypocrisy, but then in your other post, you condone them being a hypocrite themselves by staying.

Care to clarify?

I can understand why people leave… rude, apathetic priests, unorthodox homilies, hypocricy… etc… Well, i can understand them wanting to leave, but i still have a problem with them actually leaving.

not me… they are better off sitting in the pews being a “hypocrite”… because it is ALWAYS better to be in the Presence of Christ than NOT to be… and some time in the future they will find the answers they need… "Seek and you will find"

 

[Annabelle_Marie]

so how do you deal w/ that? how can you be friends w/ people like that? who think that kind of thing about your religion??

whn i came back… and studied the Faith fairly in-depth… i lost a lot of friends/family members… they weren’t very good friends anyhow or that wouldn’t have happened… but… i can’t imagine being friends w/ someone now who didn’t understand or want to u/stand my faith… the bible says not to be unequally yoked w/ unbelivers… I think that goes for those who claim to believe… but don’t ever investigate the First (only) Church… just my thoughts…

Well…they aren’t close friends. Some of them I’m just trying to clarify all the misconceptions that they have. I know I had them about the Church. So, it’s my chance to educate. And one of them had to admit that our priest was doing some good things for Jesus…reluctently… He wouldn’t call him Father… But he told me to be cautious…and I said the time for that is over. So, you know…it is what it is.

The other good friend I have from the other side…well she is happy that we have a church home. That our attendance is way up…every Sunday vs. once or twice every 6 months. And that we are happy. So…she doesn’t judge me…well at least not to my face.

To the other person who said Catholics would tell me I’m going to hell if it was reversed…well it was…when I converted to being a protestant a long time ago…not one of my Catholic friends or family told me that. But I think secretly they were praying for me and it worked!

 

[StevenFrancis]

John 6:50
I am the living bread that came down from heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh."

52 The Jews then disputed among themselves, saying, “How can this man give us his flesh to eat?” 53 So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. 54Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. 55For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. 56Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. 57As the living Father sent me, and I live because of the Father, so whoever feeds on me, he also will live because of me. 58 This is the bread that came down from heaven, not like the bread the fathers ate and died. Whoever feeds on this bread will live forever.” 59 Jesus said these things in the synagogue, as he taught at Capernaum.

60 ***When many of his disciples heard it, they said, “This is a hard saying; who can listen to it?” ***61But Jesus, knowing in himself that his disciples were grumbling about this, said to them, “Do you take offense at this? 62Then what if you were to see the Son of Man ascending to where he was before? 63 It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. 64 But there are some of you who do not believe.” (For Jesus knew from the beginning who those were who did not believe, and who it was who would betray him.) 65 And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”
66 After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him. 67 So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” 68 Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, 69 and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God."

 

[uglygal]

I voted yes, I can understand why they leave.

They leave for one of two reasons.

Either the teachings of the Church are viewed by them as being too hard to live with or they leave because of pride, in that they think they know better than the Church.

My understanding this does not mean that I think it is right, they are wrong to leave, it is an escape for them to do as they wish rather than doing what they should do.

I am a person who left.
This attitude is a reason why I left.

People who leave catholicism do so for many reasons. Why do you assume its for reasons that imply bad character? Why do you assume that person is full of pride, or doesn’t want to live by the churches rules?

In my own experience I left the church because of the abuse of love I experienced within it. And I didn’t leave because of pride or because I think I know better. I didn’t leave the church in triumph or glory but rather humiliated, despised and accused of all sorts of falsehoods. I didn’t leave because I have “hip thrusting” problems (as one catholic kindly put it), or because I want to fornicate, take the pill, do drugs etc.