Pools/tv with children

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They are people who have experience with others who have tried to “shelter” their children from the real world.
We are called to live in the real world, to be salt, and light to the world.
We cannot do that if we don’t know what the real world is.
 
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From my experience, the people that grew up with the most sheltered lifestyle at home usually became the biggest sinners as soon as they left home. The goal shouldn’t be to isolate your kids from anything that might be scandalous. It should be to raise them to live a moral life while also living in a sinful world, because like it or not they eventually will have to live in it.
 
ThomasMT said:
Because there is nothing “artificial” about the “real world.” :roll_eyes: Who is JMMJ and you, that the OP should absolutely listen to? I’m sure we can all appreciate each others opinions, your judgments serve little purpose.
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I am old and have a lot of life experience. Some would even say wisdom, where this topic is concerned. I share it when I think it makes sense to do so. Nobody has to follow it.
 
I meant you no disrespect JMMJ, I mentioned you only because you were cited by someone whose tone seems inconsiderate, in my opinion.
 
Respectfully, you are welcome to raise your own children accordingly… as is the OP. The OP will answer for his/her own methods. We can certainly present our own opinions without the judgement.
 
How do you read someone’s “tone” on an internet post.
@Peeps is a long time member, who has a lot of very good insights.
 
Ok, not tone… attitude, such as the implication that children are being “imprisoned.”
 
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@Peeps was speaking from her experience. I have also worked with people who were sheltered because of “religious beliefs”- most of them describe their lives as a prison. Of how religion and spirituality were used to manipulate and control, not instill love of God & neighbor.

OP posted on an open internet forum, if she did not want opinions contrary to her own, why ask?
 
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There is a difference between opinions and judgments. I’ll admit that the line between the two can blur. There is a difference between sharing testimony of other people, and projecting that testimony on the person seeking the opinion. We have no idea if the OP is simply being very discerning, or “manipulative and controlling.” To imply the latter, without considering the former isn’t, in my opinion, helpful. And quite frankly, in this day and age, I’m inclined to give the OP benefit of doubt. In my opinion, it’s better to raise children along the lines of the Amish, for example, than those of the more “liberated” end of pop culture.
 
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LumineDiei said:
who themselves have decades of parenting and grandparenting experience, we tend see things differently than those who are just starting their parenting journey.
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No doubt about it, and such considerations shouldn’t be dismissed. I have little doubt that more conservative, like-minded communities such as the Amish, have their own decades of experience to offer. I disagree about them being “extreme,” although it is easy to see how they could be regarded as such, given today’s prevailing values and attitudes.

Sticking to Catholicism, parents hold final say and bear ultimate responsibility for their children, that seems in accordance with what Jesus and the Bible would command. To elevate group-think above that isn’t particularly responsible, in my opinion.
LumineDiei said:
…when they are called to go forth and be a light in that world…
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When they are young, vulnerable, and impressionable, they are called to be obedient. The parents are called to stoke that light, protect it from the dark, and render it to shine bright when their time does come.
 
In all fairness, the grownup women notice the baseball players, football players, etc. It cuts both ways… just saying.
 
JMMJ said:
Responsible parents should teach their kids how to live in this world.
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I have to agree 100% with this. I knew of a young lady while growing up whose parents tried to raise her in a proper Catholic home. The problem was they sheltered her so much she was never allowed on dates, never allowed to go to dances, to the movies, etc. When she did go away to college, she didn’t know what to do and ended up sleeping with all kinds of different people, and eventually became an exotic dancer. Thankfully, from what I heard, she did find a good man who respected her and brought her back to God, but sometimes sheltering kids too much is not the right thing to do. You need to give structure, but allow them to make mistakes while they are still young and can be fixed.

We all want what is best for our kids, but sometimes it is hard to see the big picture.
 
Yea, and if she had gone down that path because her parents were more “open,” then what? At least with your example, the daughter alone was responsible for her own sins, especially since she was taught better. The idea that we need to condition our children to darkness, to better protect them from it, seems a bit wrong. Anomalous, anecdotal examples do little to lend it support. They simply stoke fear and doubt on the parents’ part. Finally, as far as preparing children for the world… the bible warns about “wordly” concerns. A greater concern, in my opinion, would be of spiritual matters. Best of all worlds would be to live in a community where similar ideals are shared.
Memento mori!
 
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The concept you are all looking for here is a vaccine. Throw your kids directly into sin and they fall now. Shelter them so they never build up an immunity and they fall the moment you can’t protect them. Carefully let them see some of it while you have the opportunity to help them put it into perspective and you strengthen them for when they have to do it on their own.
 
Kids know very well how to sin without additional inspiration 😉 But yes, I get and respect where you are comming from. Although, I would apply the analogy of “vaccine” to the Sacraments.
 
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I forget their name, but I believe that there is a Catholic version of Amish communities. And yes, I am around them as well, and no, no community is perfect. And yes, I would defer to parents to pray and decide on what is “extreme,” for themselves… while (of course) considering the guidance of their elders.
 
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ThomasMT said:
Yea, and if she had gone down that path because her parents were more “open,” then what? At least with your example, the daughter alone was responsible for her own sins, especially since she was taught better. The idea that we need to condition our children to darkness, to better protect them from it, seems a bit wrong. Anomalous, anecdotal examples do little to lend it support. They simply stoke fear and doubt on the parents’ part. Finally, as far as preparing children for the world… the bible warns about “wordly” concerns. A greater concern, in my opinion, would be of spiritual matters. Best of all worlds would be to live in a community where similar ideals are shared.
Memento mori!
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Are you a parent?
 
My worry is not the sexuality displayed by popular culture so much as it is the violence.
 
@returningcath
  1. young kids to public pool - - yes
  2. TV for young kids - - I ‘think’ there is evidence that “too much” screen time of any sort is bad for kids; we haven’t had cable for like 15 years but pretty regularly watched tapes/DVDs/videos and/or streaming services, more as a ‘treat’ than an everyday thing
  3. older . . . definitely not be OK - - I am going against the grain here, and it may be a prudent decision, IMO, depending on each kid, whether or not the public pool is reasonable for a teenager. We have had ours take swimming lessons at a public pool, and being able to swim is a great benefit. Looking back, probably would have done that much earlier (to avoid the modesty issues). That being said, the state of swimsuits today is such that it really may be unreasonable to take younger teens; again, I think it depends on the kid and the ongoing conversations you are having with them about modesty, dating, the purposes of courtship, etc.
Fuller disclosure - - my boys wear swim shirts, and the girls wear swim skirts.

It is unrealistic, I think, to deny that there are modesty concerns in the typical public pool or beach.
 
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