Pools/tv with children

[Peeps]

You are welcome to take a wild guess… I’m sure the community would benefit from the reply that you probably have for both answers

Maybe what I should ask is if you have been involved with families like the ones I described and knew personally–families who over-sheltered their children only to see those children run away and reject the family and their religion as soon as they had the opportunity.

I also know families who didn’t shelter their children, but instead, went the other direction and allowed total freedom. None of these kids ran away, but they had very little self-control.

What I advocate is a middle-of-the-road approach towards child-rearing. And along with this, it’s essential that BOTH parents (hopefully, there are two parents) agree on their child-rearing approach.

I know delightful families who have a much more “conservative” approach to child-rearing than me and my husband. Their children do not have a television in the home, and they participate with sports, arts, etc. with other children who are also “carefully” raised. So far, they have turned out well. They definitely dress with a little less “Amish” than they were raised, but they still wear modest, lovely modern clothing (dresses only for the young women). And they are well-rounded, out-going, and faith-filled. One of the young men is working towards becoming a lawyer and entering politics, and boy, we could use him!

I realize that you thought I was being judgmental towards the OP. Well, it seems to me that you are judging me. The OP asked for advice, and I gave advice from my perspective based on personal experiences with families who have gone down the path that the OP is apparently considering. But in this post, I’m making it clear that there are families who raise their children very conservatively, and everything turns out just fine.

I hope this helps clarify. If you have examples of families you’ve known who have had success with a “Amish-type” child-rearing approach, then please share them. I’m sure the OP would appreciate hearing advice from different points of view.

 

[Peeps]

I don’t have daughters, but if I did, you’d best believe that they wouldn’t be wearing something like tight leggings, short shorts and short skirts for example. This would not be to “shelter” them but to teach them preserve their dignity.

I know you are exiting the thread. But I’m going to add this comment because I want others to think about it.

Both of our daughters were ice skaters–started lessons at age 3 and age 5. In addition, my older daughter started ballet when she was 3, while my younger daughter preferred sports (volleyball) and music lessons (piano, violin, voice).

So our beautiful daughters grew up wearing leggings, short shorts, and short skirts. In the sport of synchronized ice skating, you will often see longer skirts (just above the knee), but the elements done in the program make it necessary for the skaters to wear trunks that cover their bottoms. In other words, I’m not sure that the long skirts are “modest.”

I don’t believe that Christians should avoid sports and arts that require revealing apparel. My husband and the other daddies thought nothing of seeing girls of all ages wearing skating dresses, or ballet costumes.

Both of our daughters and our entire family benefited greatly from ice skating. BOTH daughters are still involved with the sport. Next week, my husband and I will fly to a national competition where both girls will be competing–one as an athlete, and one as a coach.

Both girls still love to skate, and my older daughter often says, “It’s as close as human beings will get to flying.” (Yes, I know, that guy flew over Dubai, but he was wearing a mini-plane on his back! Ice skaters fly with just a pair of skates and a skimpy skating costume!)

And my older daughter is grateful for her ten years of ballet. In her career, she often works with dancers (she’s in the entertainment industry), and one of the best compliments she ever received was when she was helping out a dancer, and one of the pros said, “Hey, you dance as well as the pros!”

Most ice skaters that our kids grew up with turned out well–college, married with children, good jobs. They didn’t grow up to be “street girls”. And those who were raised in Christian homes are still practicing Christians–no one gave up their faith because of wearing a tiny dress.

 

[TheLittleLady]

I was homeschooled back before that was even a word. I’ve seen the cloistered children grow into adults who are now grandparent age. Not one of them has a healthy relationship with Christianity, because as soon as they could get out of the home, they did. Girls actively tried to get pregnant, boys who lost themselves in drugs, brilliant kids with off the chart IQ/Standardized Testing Scores who go off to college on full scholarship only to flunk out because they never learned how to navigate the real world.

I think no television can be a good choice for families, not as a “hiding from evil” stance but as a “let’s spend time doing fun, interesting things with each other” lifestyle choice.

No swimming, well, we consider swim lessons essential for safety reasons. Our son, at age 9, saved a toddler from drowning because he had been well trained by his swim lessons.