You weren’t the person he raped. Did you ask her opinion?
Imagine for a moment, that you are a child whose father told that you were an accident. That your father said he wished you were dead. That he was ashamed you did not inherit his language skills. That he beat you when you did anything wrong or if he was having a bad day. That him and his new wife cared for the children she born for him, other than myself and my sister. That my sister and I were given a box of cereal, and that was our lunches throughout the weekend.
And imagine, one night, when your father pulls you off the couch and begins tormenting you physically. He pins you down so you can’t move. He slaps you across the face multiple times, roaring at you while you’re hysterically crying because that is a sign of weakness.
And imagine that wife, sitting on a chair. Not doing a damn thing to stop any of this from happening. She sits there with an impassive look on her face, not moving an inch, not saying a word. She did not see me in my room after, she did not check up on me.
During the child abuse trial, my father lied on the witness stand, under oath. This should come as no surprise, he’s obviously a psychopath since he abuses children and is a sexual predator. What also happened is that woman who sat there and did nothing, she too committed perjury during the child abuse trial - she lied after swearing on the Good Book that nothing happened that night, or any night. She did so to protect that man.
Eventually that came to bite her in the ***; he sexually assaulted her. I’m also not stupid, there’s such a thing as systematic behavior. My mom will never say what happened in their marriage, but it’s not hard to extrapolate that she was raped too (she did a non-confirmation confirmation. Understandably, she didn’t want to talk about it, especially to her son. I’m an adult, but still her son), meaning that I could have been brought about by rape.
Which brings my father’s scoreboard to:
- My mother, his second wife, sexually assaulted.
- Myself, physically abused.
- My sister, abused.
- His third ex-wife, sexually assaulted.
- His fourth wife, allegedly cheated on her with her sister, or so I heard through the grapevine.
My father is a psychopath, he sows destruction wherever he goes. So yes, I am in a position to say I’d rather him not be put to death. Partially because I know what happened to him in prison (people found out why he was there, and what he did to his children in the past, plus he has a big mouth). Both my mother and I feel that him being in prison was sufficient. Would we have liked him locked up longer? Hell yes! Do we want him dead? No, we don’t.
Not that I didn’t want him dead for years, mind you. Rage against him
consumed me for years before my reversion back to Catholicism. At some point, I realized that the deliberate effort myself to want him dead is simple revenge. It’s nothing more than the State being an extension of my will at that point.
I want him alive. He’ll never have remorse, I accept that. Short of a miracle on the level of Saul becoming Paul, he’ll never change, and I accept that. I still want him alive. Because people like my father, psychopaths, have a long memory. They recall things as if it happened yesterday. And now, for the rest of his Earthly life, my father will replay what happened to him within the walls of that prison. To me, that is sufficient justice.
Mind you, all of this begs the question; what crimes are worthy of being put to death? Could one not say that what he did to me was sufficient, thereby making it not just rape and murder?
