Pope tells bishops to have compassion on those with failed marriages [CNA]

[Minion_w_a_drum]

Allright. Let’s start from the beginning.

The sacrament of marriage is crucial. Married people don’t live in sin. Unmarried people live in sin. The church is bending over backwards to help people live moral lives, amidst the culture that has fought a war on morality for a long time. Since we are all to an extent products of secular confusion, a high number of Catholics don’t understand what marriage is. So we now have marriage prep. The hope is that people will learn a thing or two and have their questions answerd, and to think seriously about what they are about to do. But it is probably not working because society is against us and most Catholics follow society, not the church and have completely secular understandings of marriage. Marriage prep thus accomplishes little.

Yes, I’m a bit confused on this. Above you stated that marriage prep does not prevent people from living in sin. In this post, you seem to say that marriage prep is an attempt build healthy marriages, albeit a tough and possibly losing proposition.
My impetus for stating that maybe the church should return to only catholics marrying catholics is that it could lead to like minded individuals marrying like minded individuals. Is it extreme? Yes, most likely. But the fact is no fault divorce has dealt a killing blow to marriage. One person can have the best of intentions to marry for life and it simply matters not. the other can end the marriage at any time for no reason. It seems the catholic church is really the only church that believes marriage is for life with no divorce option. That is why I said maybe the best tactic would be for only catholics to marry catholics. After all, there is a precedent for that, no?

If/when we finally shovel the last piece of dirt onto the grave of marriage, the vast amount of blame can be placed squarely upon no fault divorce.

 

[Thomas_White]

My impetus for stating that maybe the church should return to only catholics marrying catholics is that it could lead to like minded individuals marrying like minded individuals. Is it extreme? Yes, most likely. But the fact is no fault divorce has dealt a killing blow to marriage. One person can have the best of intentions to marry for life and it simply matters not. the other can end the marriage at any time for no reason. It seems the catholic church is really the only church that believes marriage is for life with no divorce option. That is why I said maybe the best tactic would be for only catholics to marry catholics. After all, there is a precedent for that, no?

With this in mind, I can’t see how Catholic-only marriages would resolve this situation. Marriage vows are plain and clear: “…I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.”

It seems to me there is a more general problem concerning both moral values and character, in this instance the honoring of a sacred vow.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

Marriage vows made be plain and clear, but that doesn’t mean that they are understood to mean what the Church says they mean.

The idea of ‘til death or divorce do us part’ is almost ingrained in modern society.
We have become a throwaway culture, and that includes relationships- when it gets too hard, or is broken, just dump it and get a new one. Very sad.

That said,we cannot blame the Church for this. She can lead the people, but she can’t think for them. Someone made a comment about the Church not wanting to push people away, you can’t just brush that aside. It is a very real fear. In a case from my own family, the priest counseling a couple in pre-Cana suggested the couple postpone the wedding. There were some issues he was not comfortable with and thought the couple needed more time. Well, the couple was not happy and bride-to-be runs home and tells Mommy & Daddy what the mean priest said to them. Call gets made to the Pastor, who supports his priest, yet the family makes such a stink, the Pastor gives in to keep the peace. Couple gets married. 6 months later they are living apart and divorced within the year.

And this happens more often than not, with marriage, Baptism & Confirmation. I am teaching Confirmation classes right now. I have a candidate who would rather have teeth pulled than be there. He does not want to be Confirmed and is angry that his parents are making him attend classes. The parents have informed me & the Pastor that they “expect” him to be confirmed, whether he wants it or not.

And think about Baptism, how many children do you see get Baptised, then never see the family again? Unfortunately, religion in many cases has become something we "do"because we always have and not because we truly believe.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

My impetus for stating that maybe the church should return to only catholics marrying catholics is that it could lead to like minded individuals marrying like minded individuals. Is it extreme? Yes, most likely. But the fact is no fault divorce has dealt a killing blow to marriage. One person can have the best of intentions to marry for life and it simply matters not. the other can end the marriage at any time for no reason. It seems the catholic church is really the only church that believes marriage is for life with no divorce option. That is why I said maybe the best tactic would be for only catholics to marry catholics. After all, there is a precedent for that, no?
.

It was like that in the past, but today it would not be the same if we could only marry Catholics, simply because society allows all sorts of things. My concousion is that people follow society, not the church. I know several couples - who were practicing Catholics when they married and ended up divorced. There is just no guarantee. Catholics will dovorce as much as other people simply because there is no stigma to it anymore. I honestly believe most people are quite superficial and don’t take the faith seriously. I hate being so jaded, but this has been my experience.

 

[Thomas_White]

Marriage vows made be plain and clear, but that doesn’t mean that they are understood to mean what the Church says they mean.

The issue isn’t what the Church might say the vows mean. The meaning is in clear, plain and commonly understood language. Is it really thought this is not understood by the marriage partners?

Oneofthewomen:

The idea of ‘til death or divorce do us part’ is almost ingrained in modern society.

Should marriage vows then be amended accordingly?

Oneofthewomen:

We have become a throwaway culture, and that includes relationships- when it gets too hard, or is broken, just dump it and get a new one. Very sad.

I agree and it is certainly not the fault of the Church, which is one of the few remaining defenders of the true faith. What is occurring in our era is (like most serious problems) very complex, and modern society struggles with many such problems. I would suggest that at the core of it is the (philosophical) belief that there is no Absolute Truth. In this respect ‘gray’ is confusion and chaos and ultimately anarchy.

Suffice it to say, we live in perilous times.