Possible engagement BUT noticing something

[perez639]

If you listen to Dr. Laura, she will tell you that a friendship between a man and a woman is never strictly platonic…
There is always the underlying tension which makes it exciting instead of blah…!!!
I agree with u completely where u should stay away from situations where you are left alone with that someone-even if he is only a friend.
Even if it did remain a friendship, how would u feel about the fact that he put her in front of you as far as feelings were concerned? That was my problem with my ex. Doesnt he have any guy friends to spend his time with or is she the only one left on earth as his friend?
Take a long hard look at this guy as his priorities are not right, my dear
Always remember its supposed to be
God
Spouse
Children
Family
Friends

See how far down the priority list friends are and he obviously does not understand that!!!

Wow! I missed this post earlier, everything you mentioned is exactly how I think. I just dont understand guy and girl “friendships” when one of them is SERIOUSLY with someone. i think its rare when they are truly innocent. I could understand having these friendships whne one is casually dating, but shouldn’t it change when the two become serious?!

Peace be with you all,

Regis University Student

 

[perez639]

You don’t see dating as just something to do but that dating has a purpose which is going to be marriage. You already show him the honor and respect that you would show a husband. Not a lot of women or men at your age would make the connect to stay away from temptation or from a situation that could come off looking bad and hurt someone’s feelings. If he can’t show you the same respect and honor than maybe you need to have a serious talk about what the future holds…

Yes, my parents rasied me to only date the kind of man i would marry, so naturally I have been looking for tha tand thought I found it, but maybe not so much.

Peace be with you all,

Regis university Student

 

[Feanaro_s_Wife]

It sounds like you have already been given all of the advice that I would have shared. I think you know what to do. Sure, it’ll hurt to end the relationship…you will get lonely…you’ll have periods of regret and doubt that you did the right thing…but we are talking about the REST OF YOUR LIFE!

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If a man cannot be considerate of your feelings,epsecially when he doesn’t understand them or think they are fair, before marriage, he isn’t going to change after marriage.

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Pray for your future spouse, whoever he may be, and pray to be the best wife you can be. Who knows, maybe the harsh reality of losing you will wake him up to his inconsiderate behavior and he will change and become a good spouse one day. Or he will run off and marry his “friend”.

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Either way, you save yourself, and your future children, a lot of pain and a possible broken marriage.

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It is possible to find a good Catholic man who shares your values. My hubby often commented that he wished he lived in the 50’s too! So they do exist. Trus that God will have you cross paths when thetime is right. Until then? ENJOY your youth, lol.

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Malia

 

[JezuUfamTobie]

When they became engaged he called me tearfully to tell me he wouldn’t be able to call me or see me because his fiancee didn’t want him to have contact with me. I told him that was ok and I wished him well in his marriage. Honestly, I was really hurt but at the same time I knew that he was doing the right thing by putting his future wife first. The last thing I wanted was to be a source of friction in someone’s marriage.

God bless you for doing that!

And to the OP… whatever you do, don’t buy any lines like “If you really trusted me, you would…” Someone who really loves you will not ask you to trust blindly–he will gladly give you piles upon piles of evidence of his trustworthiness.

Trustworthy people care about what situations look like to outside viewers. They don’t do suspicious looking things and ask the world to believe they’re innocent. They don’t hide things from their spouses and they certainly don’t require private time/communication with other members of the opposite sex.

I have seen this situation time and again with people I know, and let me tell you that every single time we’ve heard the “You don’t really truuuuuust me!!!” line, the person uttering that line was later found to be a cheater (anything from porn to emotional affairs to adultery).

I’m glad you feel uncomfortable with this, OP. Stick to your guns.

 

[beckers]

I got a pretty good book for chirstmas last year. Called **What’s a Girl to Do?: While Waiting for Mr. Right by **Janet Folger.
It is all about what to do as a single women while waiting for Mr. Right. It helped me realize that i am not crazy with my thoughts about dating. It also helped me grasp the idea that it’s okay if this one isn’t Mr. Right. If i thought this guy was great then the man that God has planned for me is going to be Awesome! Just let go of the society pressure/exceptations of you have to be married by such and such age or you have to have a boy-friend to do certain things. Go out and live your life and be a light for Christ!

 

[KCT]

I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer to your question. If it bothers you, it’s an issue and you both need to deal with it.

If he blows off something you think is important, that should tell you something. --KCT