Potential breakup

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AllSeasons

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So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime? We had made plans for something in a few weeks, and she’s deciding whether she still wants to go through it. So hopefully she will let me know one way or the other. But I’m just feeling kinda miserable right now, and can’t stop thinking about it, nor can I focus on anything else all too well. Any suggestions on how I can better deal with this? Thank you in advance.
 
I think you should spend some time examining your relationship. It may be that this relationship has run it’s course. If she has things to think about, did she give you no clue what that is? Was this out of the blue or did you know there were problems? I am not asking for you to answer them here, just that you think about them.

I don’t know how long she will make you wait to talk to you. I think a few days of not speaking–maybe it is time you tried to initiate some discussion. If she says no to that, she may be giving you a message in that.

Pray to learn God’s will for YOU. Not for you and her, but for you. It is only when you get that straight with God that you have something to offer someone else. May God bless you and guide you.
 
AllSeasons said:
So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime? We had made plans for something in a few weeks, and she’s deciding whether she still wants to go through it. So hopefully she will let me know one way or the other. But I’m just feeling kinda miserable right now, and can’t stop thinking about it, nor can I focus on anything else all too well. Any suggestions on how I can better deal with this? Thank you in advance.
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I’m sorry that’s happening to you. On the other hand I need to tell you it’s a normal part of human experience. Sooner or later we all go through something like that. I’ve been through those things too. It doesn’t look optimistic, but then it’s always better to find out at an earlier stage that your girlfriend is not the girl for you than several years into the marriage. Don’t let that bring you down. It is likely that both of you will sooner or later be happy with someone else. Spend time with friends and family, make sure you have company and something to do at all times, this is the best thing to keep your mind off the girl.
 
Take all those thoughts and turn them towards prayer. Pray a rosary or something. After all, if something is going to occupy your mind you might as well bring God into the loop and see if He can offer some guidance. I think we’ve all been there at some point in our lives. You can’t turn it off like a light switch but you gain some persepective and strength through a little prayer.
 
AllSeasons said:
So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime?
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Grab a cup of coffee with friends, dive into a good book, get lost in a video game, go to the movies. An afternoon of diversion will help you think more clearly about the situation tomorrow.

Luna
 
Thank you for the responses so far. I definitely get what you’re saying, but I can’t help but still hold out hope that she’ll come around. The radio silence is mutual, since I want to give her the time she needs to sort things out. I suppose the “good” thing is that now is a very busy time for me, so I need to focus on work, but it’s hard to work without getting distracted thinking about it. I think I will know in about a week, when I give her a call next weekend to see if she still wants to go through the activity we had planned together. Next week is going to be tough.
 
AllSeasons said:
So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime? We had made plans for something in a few weeks, and she’s deciding whether she still wants to go through it. So hopefully she will let me know one way or the other. But I’m just feeling kinda miserable right now, and can’t stop thinking about it, nor can I focus on anything else all too well. Any suggestions on how I can better deal with this? Thank you in advance.
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You love her, so it hurts, so you cannot stop thinking on that. That is like a wound. That is life…
 
I’m sorry to hear about your problems. I’ve gone through some pretty tough relationships in the past and I know how painful it is to be left hanging…

I think the key is to let God be in control of your vocation. If you are truly being called to marriage then God has chosen your spouse before you were even born. As long as you are following the path that He’s laid out for you and are being a good, honerable man then you can rest assured that if you are being called to marriage that He will guide you to your future spouse (whether that’s through helping you patch up this relationship or helping you to meet the right woman possibly in the very near future).

I think the reason why so many relationships have issues these days is because people have this need to “control” of what should be left to God. God decides our vocation, not us!

My prayers are with you!
 
She is exhibiting of her free will the fundamental signs that a long term relationship will not work. Thank your Lord and Savior you are discovering this before marriage and children. Most people find out later and proceed to leave a pile of human spiritual wreckage in their wake. Their lives are a disaster. I see it a lot these days.

Run like the wind and smile! You are free.
 
AllSeasons said:
So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime? We had made plans for something in a few weeks, and she’s deciding whether she still wants to go through it. So hopefully she will let me know one way or the other. But I’m just feeling kinda miserable right now, and can’t stop thinking about it, nor can I focus on anything else all too well. Any suggestions on how I can better deal with this? Thank you in advance.
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I just texted her a little over an hour ago after a week of radio silence. No response from her yet. I hope she’s not ignoring me. Sigh.
 
AllSeasons said:
I just texted her a little over an hour ago after a week of radio silence. No response from her yet. I hope she’s not ignoring me. Sigh.
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Don’t obsess. Half an hour is nothing. A person can be busy for a whole day without checking the phone, depending on the nature of work. And if she does play ignore games with you, she’s not really ready for a serious relationship. Your self-esteem can’t depend on whether a girl replies to your message! (Somebody should’ve told me when I was your age.)
 
AllSeasons said:
So my girlfriend said that she needs to do some thinking and let me know. I don’t feel too optimistic. There’s been radio silence for a few days now, since we last talked. I don’t want to go into too many details, but I guess my question is how do I not think about this in the meantime? We had made plans for something in a few weeks, and she’s deciding whether she still wants to go through it. So hopefully she will let me know one way or the other. But I’m just feeling kinda miserable right now, and can’t stop thinking about it, nor can I focus on anything else all too well. Any suggestions on how I can better deal with this? Thank you in advance.
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It’s hard not to think about these things. You just have to live your life the way you do everyday and push through. I think I remember your prior posts–this is the long distance relationship, right?
 
when they say, i need time to think, it’s over.

in my experience they wanna see someone else and don’t want to hurt you by saying that.

i know its hard to believe right now but you will be happy again.

just go about your regular life tasks and time will take care of it.
 
AllSeasons, I’m sorry that you’re going through this, but don’t lose hope. Keep praying, and in the meantime, you can use the time to try to renew your own spirit. The times we live in are so very fast that we hardly have time to find a sense of peace.:gopray2:

I hope you enjoy reading Catholic books, biographies of the Saints always being so inspirational. And I find the Gospels so awe inspiring, seeing the world from the times Christ walked the earth, how can that fail to make us realize how beloved each of us is to our Heavenly Father?

When we realize what those in the early Church went through, when we read of Christ’s time on earth with His disciples, we can see that God will also help us through our own trials. Please come back to the forum to keep us posted. You are in our prayers!
Kathryn Ann:heaven::hug1:
 
She did tell me a few times that she’s the kind of person who needs time to sort through her thoughts, and if prodded, she’s only going to withdraw deeper into a corner. Perhaps this is one of those times, but I’m probably overthinking this as it is. I’m going to give her a call this weekend to see if she still wants to go through with the planned activity next weekend. I will need to either cancel or keep the hotel reservations depending on her answer. Hopefully I’ll hear from her then.
 
AllSeasons said:
She did tell me a few times that she’s the kind of person who needs time to sort through her thoughts, and if prodded, she’s only going to withdraw deeper into a corner. Perhaps this is one of those times, but I’m probably overthinking this as it is. I’m going to give her a call this weekend to see if she still wants to go through with the planned activity next weekend. I will need to either cancel or keep the hotel reservations depending on her answer. Hopefully I’ll hear from her then.
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If you were my son and you asked me what to do, I would tell you to cancel the reservations. Regardless of whether you two stay together, your recent “estrangement” would not seem to make for a very comfortable trip.

But if you were my son, I would tell you that honestly, this girl is not treating you kindly. If she truly still cared for you, she would not take this long to “decide” what she wants to do. It would seem she wants to end your relationship without having to actually end it. Perhaps she is waiting for you to have enough and end it. And it appears that you are willing to just sit by and allow her to decide how your life goes. Please do not think that you have no say in the matter. You need to talk to her sooner, not later. You have put all the control in her hands. That is not a relationship, that is a dictatorship.

Pray about it, to know what is best for you. May God bless you and guide you.
 
Irishmom2 said:
If you were my son and you asked me what to do, I would tell you to cancel the reservations. Regardless of whether you two stay together, your recent “estrangement” would not seem to make for a very comfortable trip.

But if you were my son, I would tell you that honestly, this girl is not treating you kindly. If she truly still cared for you, she would not take this long to “decide” what she wants to do. It would seem she wants to end your relationship without having to actually end it. Perhaps she is waiting for you to have enough and end it. And it appears that you are willing to just sit by and allow her to decide how your life goes. Please do not think that you have no say in the matter. You need to talk to her sooner, not later. You have put all the control in her hands. That is not a relationship, that is a dictatorship.

Pray about it, to know what is best for you. May God bless you and guide you.
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I agree with this–she shouldn’t be waiting this long, especially with reservations on the line.
 
OK, I got my answer. It’s over. Sigh. It’s kinda expected, but it still sucks, big time.
 
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