Practical discussion of sex?

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VeritasLuxMea

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Does anyone know if there’s a website with a practical discussion of sex, but from a Catholic perspective? Again, I’m talking about the practical aspects of sex, not the moral ones (but with a perspective that is still Catholic.)

“The Marriage Bed Forum” is a good example of the type of discussion I’m looking for, but that is a very Protestant place, supporting ABC and other un-Catholic behaviors.

So is there a Catholic alternative?
 
Castello said:
Steve Ray’s website has a message board with discussions that are men only/women only and one for couples who use NFP. Give it a try!

www.catholic-convert.com
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Thank you so much. I see a forum, but I don’t see the particular sections that you are talking about? Would you mind linking to them directly? Thanks again!
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Thank you so much. I see a forum, but I don’t see the particular sections that you are talking about? Would you mind linking to them directly? Thanks again!
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Look at the top of the page where it says “community” then choose “message board”.
 
Castello said:
Look at the top of the page where it says “community” then choose “message board”.
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Ok I’m sorry again, let me rephrase that. 😦

I see the forum, I just can’t find the specific sub-forums you’re talking about? :o

Ok, I’m not sure if I was clear in what I was asking?

The only sexually related topic I noticed on the forums was, “Premarital sex leads to suicide.” That doesn’t really seem… like practical sex talk.

I’m requesting a sub-forum more like this one at the Marriage Bed forums. Notice that it is filled with a whole bunch of conversations about sexuality from a Christian perspective. Unfortunately, it’s a Protestant perspective.

There’s just a lot of “practical” stuff that I would like to see discussed, but without the artificial birth control/other sinful practices that Protestants don’t have a problem with. I’m kinda bummed out that there isn’t a better resource for Catholics on this stuff. Best I’ve seen was Jason Evert, but that’s all just a big list of moral “thou shalt not’s”, not conversation and information about the more nitty gritty aspects. 😦

Edit: Hmmmm… Ok now I see it! I had to register first before the forum showed up. Apparently it’s not for guests. On the down side, apparently you have to request special access to it. Got to find a mod and message them to get in, I suppose.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Again, I’m talking about the practical aspects of sex, not the moral ones (but with a perspective that is still Catholic.)
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No.

Frankly, those posts are graphic and I don’t think they are appropriate topics for a public discussion forum.
 
1ke said:
No.

Frankly, those posts are graphic and I don’t think they are appropriate topics for a public discussion forum.
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Did you see the ones I linked to on the Protestant Marriage Bed Forums? You don’t think those are appropriate (apart from the ABC stuff, obviously that’s not)?

So where is a Catholic to go to get any practical information/discussion at all? What, a medical textbook? Or do they have to rely on Protestant websites? Are we the Puritans here after all?

VERY frustrated! 😦
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Did you see the ones I linked to on the Protestant Marriage Bed Forums?
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Yes, those are the ones I am talking about.
VeritasLuxMea said:
You don’t think those are appropriate
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No.
VeritasLuxMea said:
So where is a Catholic to go to get any practical information/discussion at all? What, a medical textbook?
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If they have a real concern, they should talk to their doctor.
VeritasLuxMea said:
Or do they have to rely on Protestant websites?
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No, the virtues of purity, modesty, and prudence would hopefully steer you clear of that sites.

Graphic sexual topics in the guise of “helping” people is still graphic sexual content. And, that is not appropriate for public discussion.
VeritasLuxMea said:
Are we the Puritans here after all?
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Not at all.
VeritasLuxMea said:
VERY frustrated! 😦
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Not sure why.
 
1ke said:
Yes, those are the ones I am talking about.

No.

If they have a real concern, they should talk to their doctor.
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A doctor can only provide clinical advice. There is much more to sexuality than mere biology, as you know.
No, the virtues of purity, modesty, and prudence would hopefully steer you clear of that sites.
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So Catholics cannot know anything about sexuality other than that which they obtain from a physician?

First of all, how much do you have to pay to be talking to a doctor about all of this?

Second, relies on finding a Catholic physician.

Third, physician is not qualified to speak on all manners of sexuality.
Graphic sexual topics in the guise of “helping” people is still graphic sexual content. And, that is not appropriate for public discussion.
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Not at all.
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What’s your definition of Puritanical views on sexuality then? So we’re not Puritanical, but we can just never talk about sexuality except if it’s in a Papal encyclical? I don’t get it.
Not sure why.
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  1. Because I have questions about sexuality and want to know more, but,
  2. Am only allowed to learn anything if I’m Protestant. There is information out there, but as a Catholic, I’m denied it? Doesn’t seem fair. This is NOT about ABC’s, abortion, etc. So why should we be denied it?
  3. Because in my Catholic upbringing, I learned jack squat about it
  4. Because reading the few vague topics on CAF have only made me more confused and such topics are frowned upon here. I love CAF, but it’s not a good resource for this subject at all…
  5. Because I am sick and tired of having to attach shame and confusion to my sexuality due to being Catholic!
Do you need more reasons?

If no one can point to a forum, what about a website that has essays and whatnot?
 
There’s just a lot of “practical” stuff that I would like to see discussed, but without the artificial birth control/other sinful practices that Protestants don’t have a problem with. I’m kinda bummed out that there isn’t a better resource for Catholics on this stuff. Best I’ve seen was Jason Evert, but that’s all just a big list of moral “thou shalt not’s”, not conversation and information about the more nitty gritty aspects.
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I think that it would help if you defined “practical” more clearly, such as specifically what you want to know – biology? NFP? etc.

I went through comprehensive sex education in public school. I still adhere to the Church’s teaching on sex. You may have an easier time just reading Wikipedia or whatever and then noting down any questions on morality that arise. Or just Google online sex education. Also, many forums that are not explicitly Catholic (or religious) still happily accommodate questions that ask for answers framed in a particular context – e.g. “I am interested in learning about X, but please note that I am Catholic and therefore A and B are permitted but C is not.”
 
Baelor said:
I think that it would help if you defined “practical” more clearly, such as specifically what you want to know – biology? NFP? etc.

I went through comprehensive sex education in public school. I still adhere to the Church’s teaching on sex. You may have an easier time just reading Wikipedia or whatever and then noting down any questions on morality that arise. Or just Google online sex education. Also, many forums that are not explicitly Catholic (or religious) still happily accommodate questions that ask for answers framed in a particular context – e.g. “I am interested in learning about X, but please note that I am Catholic and therefore A and B are permitted but C is not.”
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Thanks.

For example,
  1. explanation of permitted foreplay within marriage (as opposed to the impermissible lists, and also, they contradict each other at times, so we have crossed off virtually everything with foreplay until we can figure it out… really messing up our sex lives right now),
  2. explanation of permissible lubricant (is KY o.k. for a Catholic?),
  3. explanation of permissible devices (what does it mean to be an “artificial” device?)
  4. how to add excitement/variety to bedroom WITHOUT violating Church doctrine,
  5. permissible sexual positions?
  6. improving communication within bedroom?
etc. 👍
 
There is one (or more) Catholic resources. In order to preserve modesty, they are private. Not for children or those of the opposite sex to just view for fun.

If you have real questions, register for a private Catholic message board (I assume you are a man) and request permission to the men’s only discussions.

You can also schedule an appointment to speak with your Priest or a Deacon about these things.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Thanks.

For example,
  1. explanation of permitted foreplay within marriage (as opposed to the impermissible lists, and also, they contradict each other at times, so we have crossed off virtually everything with foreplay until we can figure it out… really messing up our sex lives right now),
  2. explanation of permissible lubricant (is KY o.k. for a Catholic?),
  3. explanation of permissible devices (what does it mean to be an “artificial” device?)
  4. how to add excitement/variety to bedroom WITHOUT violating Church doctrine,
  5. permissible sexual positions?
  6. improving communication within bedroom?
etc. 👍
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Holy Sex, the book by Greg Popcak is very good. He has a radio show people call in for advice…I’ve only heard it once or twice, maybe that would be helpful.

I guess you are looking for something “Dr. Ruth like, but with Catholic perspective.”? I do agree with you, it is hard to find.

I also have an older book written in the 60’s that is very helpful (very), but it hasn’t been in print for a very long time. My copy is used, from a Catholic library somewhere.

It’s called Contemporary Moral Theology, Marriage Questions. By John C. Ford SJ and Gerald Kelly SJ. See if an older priest has a copy, you never know.
 
Castello said:
There is one (or more) Catholic resources. In order to preserve modesty, they are private. Not for children or those of the opposite sex to just view for fun.

If you have real questions, register for a private Catholic message board (I assume you are a man) and request permission to the men’s only discussions.

You can also schedule an appointment to speak with your Priest or a Deacon about these things.
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I think it would be rather uncharitable to openly discuss with a celibate person sexual positions and methods of spicing up the sex life.

I agree with OP that a forum would be quite helpful but, another suggestion would be to doit through the PM system on here.
I suppose any of us who would like to help the OP out can PM him/her.
I would recommend this kind of “sex talk” only between members of the same sex.
 
I feel fortunate for the situation I am in.

Good Catholic, Pro-Life doctors are hard to find, but when you find one, they deserve all the free advertising you can give.

Tepeyac Family Center

Dr. John Bruchalski received his MD degree from the University of South Alabama College of Medicine in Mobile, AL, in 1987. He completed his residency in obstetrics and gynecology at Eastern Virginia Medical Center and the Jones Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Norfolk, Virginia in 1991. He received board certification in 1993.

He founded the Tepeyac Family Center in Fairfax, VA in 1994, with the mission of establishing an obstetrical and gynecological facility that combines the best of modern medicine with the healing presence of Jesus Christ—providing affordable healthcare to women, in particular, those with crisis pregnancies. In 2000, he founded Divine Mercy Care, a non-profit organization performing spiritual and corporal works of mercy in Northern Virginia, Maryland, and the District of Columbia and is currently the Chairman of its Board of Directors. In 2005, Tepeyac Family Center became a part of Divine Mercy Care and currently operates as the first Catholic health care facility in the Diocese of Arlington.

Dr. Bruchalski’s affiliations with the Couple to Couple League and the Family of the Americas make him one of the foremost medical experts on Natural Family Planning (NFP) in the country. He has spoken on various topics concerning the renaissance of Catholic medicine here in the United States, in Canada, and in Europe. He has been a part of numerous videos concerning pro-life issues, natural family planning items and those covering the story of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Feel free to Google his name. He used to perform abortions. Then he returned to his Catholic faith. Now, Dr. John Bruchalski’s mission is to help spread the message of Divine Mercy through his medical practice. 👍

Spread the word, and if you live in Northern Virginia, consider making a visit. He has been wonderful for our family and has referred us to other Pro-Life doctors who practice nearby so that all of our needs are covered, including Dr. Joseph C. Evers, author of With Stethoscope and Scapular, who is now our pediatrician. 👍
 
I second the ‘Holy Sex’ book by Dr. Popcak! It’s amazing, amazing, amazing. My husband and I got it for an early wedding gift, and then took it with us on our honeymoon. We read all of the theology/spiritual stuff before we got married, and then the practical things afterwards. It is very specific: what’s allow, what’s not, and even has some slight how-to stuff.

Try to find a good Catholic friend around your age too that you think would at least be open to discussing these things. I have a couple friends from my women’s group with whom I can discuss intimate questions, discreetly and quietly. Many couples face similar questions and so long as you respect your spouse’s privacy and try to be as non-graphic as possible, it is not (IMHO) wrong to discuss these things with a trusted friend.

Also, feel free to DM me if you want. In my theological studies, I focused on human sexuality and could give you more (good, Catholic) books or resources!
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
Does anyone know if there’s a website with a practical discussion of sex, but from a Catholic perspective? Again, I’m talking about the practical aspects of sex, not the moral ones (but with a perspective that is still Catholic.)

“The Marriage Bed Forum” is a good example of the type of discussion I’m looking for, but that is a very Protestant place, supporting ABC and other un-Catholic behaviors.

So is there a Catholic alternative?
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TheMarriageBed is not a good site to be looking at. Someone advised to go to this site in one of these forums as an example of a ‘good guide’. Well it is decidedly NOT CATHOLIC and I think referring to such a site as this should be banned. it encourages & promotes what catholics consider MORTAL SIN, and therefore I cannot see how it has any right to be advertised or referred to on this site in any way at all. :mad:
 
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