Tell that to a corporate lawyer.
As I’ve already said, it’s been pointed out and yet you’re one of the few people who have pointed out the futility and are humble enough to realize their limitations. Perhaps these people should follow their own advice and live their lives and create their own experiences.
But, Lost Wanderer, this is a site for discussion. No-one knows you (or anyone else) from Adam - everyone is an “online stranger that we don’t know”. But, the aim is to discuss. People will put an argument counter to yours if that’s how they think on an issue. You do the same thing. Neither need be an attack. If you announce to a faithful Catholic that “it doesn’t work for you”, that you’ve chucked out “much of the Church’s elaboration on the 10 commandments”, Catholicism bled you dry with guilt, etc, etc, … and this is not the experience of others, do you think this might get question, or even challenged? I reckon it might. This is not a Blog where we just make speeches that can be read, but where no contrary response is admitted.Perhaps these people should follow their own advice and live their lives and create their own experiences.
It’s a better use of time than condemning online strangers that they don’t know. Alas, such seems par for the course whenever I come here.
Yes. It’s like going on a BMW forum and talking about how German cars are overrated and too expensive to maintain–expect pushback.But, Lost Wanderer, this is a site for discussion. No-one knows you (or anyone else) from Adam - everyone is an “online stranger that we don’t know”. But, the aim is to discuss. People will put an argument counter to yours if that’s how they think on an issue. You do the same thing. Neither need be an attack. If you announce to a faithful Catholic that “it doesn’t work for you”, that you’ve chucked out “much of the Church’s elaboration on the 10 commandments”, Catholicism bled you dry with guilt, etc, etc, … and this is not the experience of others, do you think this might get question, or even challenged? I reckon it might. This is not a Blog where we just make speeches that can be read, but where no contrary response is admitted.
Sure, some people make some of their posts needlessly personal - attacking the person rather than the argument. Both I think there is less of that than you make out.
The “guilt” ploy won’t work. Attempting to use it is quite revealing, actually, in terms of how apportioning “blame” and distributing the responsibility to others for your decisions is still an active part of your psyche. Clearly, the driving force behind your decision-making is not seeking the “good” or the “truth” but, rather, merely some form of tenuous emotional response to what others say, where blaming others serves as a safety net to protect you against holding yourself accountable. Explains a great deal about why you are where you are.
So, to clarify, are you looking for dating advice in particular? Because if so that was never really very clear… also, it would probably be better to start a new thread about that as the way people respond on this thread is influenced by the fact that the point of this thread was to claim Catholic teaching on sex before marriage is wrong. So, when you post in that context agreeing that the Church’s teachings are wrong and giving lengthy explanations about why things you assumed were Church teaching are wrong it really is not at all surprising that people would assume you are attacking the Church rather than realize that you are actually looking for dating advice.Actually, yes I am. Now if only you guys could actually be helpful or be humble enough to admit that what I’m reading here is nothing new. Good God, the best I got are some new sources that led outside these boards (thanks Xantippe
I’m gonna be honest here, having a good and useful discussion online is a two-way street and very few of your replies here have been really conducive to a good discussion. So the problem isn’t just with the people you are speaking with on here, though I do agree you have received some inappropriate and unnecessarily harsh responses.I swear the day these boards become even remotely reliable is the day I am free to discuss my sexual fantasies here.
You obviously think that’s absurd. It’s nice to know CAF attracts people who want approval and suffer from immense psycho-sexual insecurities. Kind of tells me more about THEM than the faith they think is bonkers.
I would love to be able to test-use a toothbrush! I’ve thrown out plenty that turned out to be too hard, too soft, too big, have weird handles, etc. Why wouldn’t you want to test one?
eeeewwwww! You don’t mind about all the people that test used it before you and tossed it?
I can sympathize with that mindset to a good degree - there is definitely prudence to be exercised in following the advice of Christians/Catholics under any circumstances, as there are definitely customs and traditions that don’t quite hold up to modern knowledge. The important thing when unsure of an issue is just to maintain a constant state of learning. I think sexual issues are a bit too strict according to popular Church beliefs, but I also think said issues are too loosely regarded by general humanity. The major theme of Catholic moral living is moderation in everything though, and proper moderation varies from individual to individual.
Agreed there as well. Many people of faith don’t know how to live their faith in the first place. The whole concept of Christian charity is often terribly defaced by a handful of well-meaning grumpy people. In my honest opinion it’s morally imperative for us to question and even to test the legitimacy of our religion and its tenets & traditions - otherwise we have nothing other than blind faith to operate on, which I can’t imagine God would be pleased with. On this particular issue the stakes are pretty high considering it involves your future with a potential spouse, so obviously its important to be prudential when deviating from known methods with known results.
You are telling me that you’re approaching the Throne of Heaven with a “customer perspective”?Yet these very people are the ones who are saying I got Catholicism wrong, that it was but a ‘rendering’, that I needed more investment.
From a customer perspective, a business can only do this for so long without starting to sound like its making excuses. Who’s the real crazy one here?
Can you expand on this please?
I can’t link to it right now because I’m on my phone, but there’s an article I read recently which domes up a large part of the problem. Essentially, that the courtship model puts way too much pressure on relationships.
A lot of people wind up ridiculously upside down on their car loans because they trade their cars in too often. It’s a predictable route to financial misery.
Well I assume they’d put it in some kind of autoclave or something in between … or just give you a fresh one and if you didn’t like it they’d toss it and you just wouldn’t pay for it…
The analogy makes the point that there are some things, that because of the intimate nature of their purpose, are not to be shared around. The decision has to be based on the honest sharing of information (which would be on the product packaging for a toothbrush) and practicing effective use after purchasing.
How do you propose your future wife “autoclave” herself after having given free “tests” to others?
It is a “weird analogy” precisely because human beings, unlike toothbrushes, are NOT disposable commodities. To view other human being as “testable” in this sense presumes a view that human beings are, at some level, disposable commodities, which is morally abhorrent.