Pray for me

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Kevin12

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I have been having a particularly awful week, at least once to the extent that I thought about ending my life. I would never do so because I am afraid of going to Hell and it would hurt my family, but I felt several times this week that if there were a way to die without either of these things happening, I would welcome it.

The other day I rear ended someone by accident (there was not damage to the other persons car, and my car only got a flat tire and the airbags going off and cracking the windshield) I didn’t get a ticket for the accident, I got one because I didn’t realize my plate sticker was expired. And then afterward, because I was trying to rush back to make a class I teach, I accidentally ran through a stop sign, got pulled over and ticketed again, for a grand total of 280 dollars. My car is currently out of comission since I found out it didn’t have a spare tire (I bought it from an auction) and it will cost me quite a bit to get a new tire, windshield and airbags. Then today I found out the person I hit filed a claim with my insurance agency for the very minor scratches to her fender, which cost just enough to raise my father’s rates - he pays for my insurance because I am a grad student and barely make enough to live on my own. He is constantly having to support me financially because of my many stupid mistakes, including a time when I had to live at home for a year after losing my first job out of college. I feel that I am a huge burden on him even though he is very forgiving and compassionate. I feel very ashamed that even though I am 28 I still have to depend on him, particularly when my younger brother and sister are completely financially independent.

Earlier this week, I had a situation with the Composition class I teach as a grad student. A student had previously complained that I was too distant to my superior, and on Wednesday they reported a student had made an anonymous complaint about my grading. I used to be a middle school teacher, and that was a very negative experience - it was the job I lost, as I mentioned. I would rather not get into why, but I was asked to resign for what I felt was an unfair reason, and after that I developed the feeling that any criticism I received was a sure sign that I was going to lose my position. I have been told I am overreacting, but it is hard for me to accept this subconsciously.

I also do not know what I am going to do for money in the summer, because my stipend ends in June. Given the fact that I was already in a financially precarious position, the fact that I am going to have to pay hundred of dollars in fines and repairs has left a knot in my stomach. The fact that my stupidity is probably going to get my dad’s insurance costs raised has made it even worse. I have gotten some counseling help, but at the end of the day no councilor can take away all my money problems. And the worst thing is that, whenever I try to talk to anybody about it, they say its just money and it doesn’t matter. I feel like people who say this are usually people who have enough money to get by without depending on others - their intentions are good I’m sure, but they come of as people talking from a position of privelege.

Anyway, I just ask that people pray for me - if not for my situation to improve, than at least for this knot in my stomach to ease up a bit.
 
I will be short and to the point. Go to Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament and ask God to give you strength to handle all of your crosses. Then, tell Him that you place all of your troubles at his feet and ask Him to be with you. If you really believe, your life will become easier.

God Bless:blessyou:
 
Kevin12 said:
I have been having a particularly awful week, at least once to the extent that I thought about ending my life. I would never do so because I am afraid of going to Hell and it would hurt my family, but I felt several times this week that if there were a way to die without either of these things happening, I would welcome it.

The other day I rear ended someone by accident (there was not damage to the other persons car, and my car only got a flat tire and the airbags going off and cracking the windshield) I didn’t get a ticket for the accident, I got one because I didn’t realize my plate sticker was expired. And then afterward, because I was trying to rush back to make a class I teach, I accidentally ran through a stop sign, got pulled over and ticketed again, for a grand total of 280 dollars. My car is currently out of comission since I found out it didn’t have a spare tire (I bought it from an auction) and it will cost me quite a bit to get a new tire, windshield and airbags. Then today I found out the person I hit filed a claim with my insurance agency for the very minor scratches to her fender, which cost just enough to raise my father’s rates - he pays for my insurance because I am a grad student and barely make enough to live on my own. He is constantly having to support me financially because of my many stupid mistakes, including a time when I had to live at home for a year after losing my first job out of college. I feel that I am a huge burden on him even though he is very forgiving and compassionate. I feel very ashamed that even though I am 28 I still have to depend on him, particularly when my younger brother and sister are completely financially independent.

Earlier this week, I had a situation with the Composition class I teach as a grad student. A student had previously complained that I was too distant to my superior, and on Wednesday they reported a student had made an anonymous complaint about my grading. I used to be a middle school teacher, and that was a very negative experience - it was the job I lost, as I mentioned. I would rather not get into why, but I was asked to resign for what I felt was an unfair reason, and after that I developed the feeling that any criticism I received was a sure sign that I was going to lose my position. I have been told I am overreacting, but it is hard for me to accept this subconsciously.

I also do not know what I am going to do for money in the summer, because my stipend ends in June. Given the fact that I was already in a financially precarious position, the fact that I am going to have to pay hundred of dollars in fines and repairs has left a knot in my stomach. The fact that my stupidity is probably going to get my dad’s insurance costs raised has made it even worse. I have gotten some counseling help, but at the end of the day no councilor can take away all my money problems. And the worst thing is that, whenever I try to talk to anybody about it, they say its just money and it doesn’t matter. I feel like people who say this are usually people who have enough money to get by without depending on others - their intentions are good I’m sure, but they come of as people talking from a position of privelege.

Anyway, I just ask that people pray for me - if not for my situation to improve, than at least for this knot in my stomach to ease up a bit.
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hello Kevin,
All things are possible with God and remember He loved you enough to get up on the Cross for you and all mankind. Go to Him. I will remember your request during Mass and Communion on Easter Sunday. Please don’t despair. Padre Pio says " Pray, Hope and don’t Worry. "

pax et bonum:console:
 
You posted on Good Friday! Use that fact to help you remember that Christ knows what it is like to have “everything go wrong”. Offer your troubles to Him and trust in Him. Even just trying to trust in Him (and praying to trust in Him) will help you. Be humble about the mistakes you make in your life. God allows you to make them, which should help you accept them.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is
the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners
now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
CatholicsRule said:
I will be short and to the point. Go to Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament and ask God to give you strength to handle all of your crosses. Then, tell Him that you place all of your troubles at his feet and ask Him to be with you. If you really believe, your life will become easier.

God Bless:blessyou:
Click to expand...
Thank you for your thoughts. The one things that makes it hard to do this is that Christ was obviously blameless - but my misfortunes are just as often caused by my own stupidity or carelessness or lack of foresight. Furthermore, every time I think I’ve overcome my issues (I’ll just say, this isn’t the first time I’ve been in a minor accident and had to pay for the damages) I repeat the mistakes I’ve made in the past. But again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen.
 
Kevin, I am sorry to read that you have not had a good week.

I am also a university teacher, and it is distressing when there is a reflection on professionalism. But I am sure that you do a great job, and I am confident that others recognise your contribution to their learning.

I think you are right in what you say about some dismissing money worries being in a position of privilege themselves. As you say, that doesn’t go to their intention, but there does need to be compassion and empathy for your particular situation. Often people make financial sacrifices to go to grad school, and perhaps it would help to think about it that way. The poor and insecure remuneration for scholars is not your fault. You have made a good choice for you and for others.

I am sure your dad understands that.

I think, if you have had thoughts of ending your life, that is a typical sign of depression and it may be good for you to see a medical doctor as well as a counsellor. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are a good person endowed with God by many gifts, and precious in His sight. I am praying for you now.

In Christ,
Mark

Hi Kevin, I am Mark’s partner and we read with concern from Australia your deeply-expressed concerns. Firstly, our suggestions should not take the place of a professional counsellor and if you are having suicidal thoughts you should take those immediately to discuss with a professional. As a layperson, my thoughts are that you are obviously a sensitive, professional person who is well-educated and trying to do right by yourself and others in the world. Accidents, job losses and other unfortunate incidents are troubling for everyone concerned and can lead to a sense of helplessness and victimisation - trust me, I have been there. But I would strongly take some time to work towards consciously valuing yourself as a person and a professional and a son and recognising your undoubted contribution to everything you do and are as a person. You give service to others, you operate with integrity, you feel strongly which means you are connected to society and care how you contribute to it, you take responsibility for things that come along such as the accident as you may be required to and you show concern for your father. I would suggest valuing these things economically as well: your education, your value as an employee and a teacher, which is a terrific skill to have, and work to think joyously and consciously about having a positive relationship with money, ie “I am skilled in this area and give service and can earn a great income. I am completely in control of my finances and money comes to me easily when I need it,” this type of thing. A summer job etc working sideways into the camp counselling-type area (at an advanced level) may help with summer expenses. I am not a Catholic personally so I cannot offer much other than to say we strangers from afar wish you confidence, a change in your fortunes and many blessings.
 
*.

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)

Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.

Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful.

O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy hear and answer me

Amen*

God bless you.
 
Kevin12 said:
Thank you for your thoughts. The one things that makes it hard to do this is that Christ was obviously blameless - but my misfortunes are just as often caused by my own stupidity or carelessness or lack of foresight. Furthermore, every time I think I’ve overcome my issues (I’ll just say, this isn’t the first time I’ve been in a minor accident and had to pay for the damages) I repeat the mistakes I’ve made in the past. But again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.
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I will be praying for you daily. May God give you the grace and courage you need. Lord, hear our prayers.:signofcross: Amen
 
Kevin12, I’ll be praying for you. My mother is a university professor too; she works three jobs to keep our family going. In the end, she always believes that God provides despite her meager salary. Please believe that God will provide! Ease your worries and believe 🙂 Keep your head held high too. Suicide thoughts sprout from intense negativity; look at Judas – he betrayed the Son of God and, without being able to forgive himself and strive for the better, killed himself in sorrow.
FloridaJoan said:
All things are possible with God and remember He loved you enough to get up on the Cross for you and all mankind. Go to Him. I will remember your request during Mass and Communion on Easter Sunday. Please don’t despair. Padre Pio says "Pray, Hope and don’t Worry."

pax et bonum:console:
Click to expand...
^Awesome advice 🙂 Stay strong! :gopray2:
 
Soul of Christ, Sanctify Me!

Make a saint of me. Show me how to rid myself
of traits of character that annoy others; that
make the lives of those about me miserable.
Help me to break the hardened shell within which
selfishness hides, and which renders me insensible
to the needs of others.
May I become great enough to be the servant of
both rich and poor.
May I grow strong in virtue, so as to sustain
the weak and encourage the weary.
May my heart increase its power to love, so
as to be able to minister kindness to the timid
and mercy to the wayward.
May I have the honor to bring cheer to all my
fellow men on the long and sometimes rugged
road of life.

Kevin, though times are tough in many ways right now,
there is no one who can help you as much as the Lord can.
He loves you…YES YOU!!! 🙂

:blessyou:

:gopray: :bible1:
 
Mark_Bahnisch said:
Kevin, I am sorry to read that you have not had a good week.

I am also a university teacher, and it is distressing when there is a reflection on professionalism. But I am sure that you do a great job, and I am confident that others recognise your contribution to their learning.

I think you are right in what you say about some dismissing money worries being in a position of privilege themselves. As you say, that doesn’t go to their intention, but there does need to be compassion and empathy for your particular situation. Often people make financial sacrifices to go to grad school, and perhaps it would help to think about it that way. The poor and insecure remuneration for scholars is not your fault. You have made a good choice for you and for others.

I am sure your dad understands that.

I think, if you have had thoughts of ending your life, that is a typical sign of depression and it may be good for you to see a medical doctor as well as a counsellor. Don’t lose sight of the fact that you are a good person endowed with God by many gifts, and precious in His sight. I am praying for you now.

In Christ,
Mark

Hi Kevin, I am Mark’s partner and we read with concern from Australia your deeply-expressed concerns. Firstly, our suggestions should not take the place of a professional counsellor and if you are having suicidal thoughts you should take those immediately to discuss with a professional. As a layperson, my thoughts are that you are obviously a sensitive, professional person who is well-educated and trying to do right by yourself and others in the world. Accidents, job losses and other unfortunate incidents are troubling for everyone concerned and can lead to a sense of helplessness and victimisation - trust me, I have been there. But I would strongly take some time to work towards consciously valuing yourself as a person and a professional and a son and recognising your undoubted contribution to everything you do and are as a person. You give service to others, you operate with integrity, you feel strongly which means you are connected to society and care how you contribute to it, you take responsibility for things that come along such as the accident as you may be required to and you show concern for your father. I would suggest valuing these things economically as well: your education, your value as an employee and a teacher, which is a terrific skill to have, and work to think joyously and consciously about having a positive relationship with money, ie “I am skilled in this area and give service and can earn a great income. I am completely in control of my finances and money comes to me easily when I need it,” this type of thing. A summer job etc working sideways into the camp counselling-type area (at an advanced level) may help with summer expenses. I am not a Catholic personally so I cannot offer much other than to say we strangers from afar wish you confidence, a change in your fortunes and many blessings.
Click to expand...
Yes, I saw a councilor on the day I had these issues. The problem is that summer jobs are very scarce at the moment because of the economy. And I also have to pay my rent because of my lease, so I don’t know if being Camp Counciler would really be a great idea, since I’d need to be paying for an apartment I wasn’t using.

Also, I take anti-depressants, which help with my day-to-day depression, but when things go really wrong my natural melancholy starts to rear its head.

Also, while I thank everyone for their kind words, I can’t really call myself a “scholar” since I am getting my Master of Fine Arts in Poetry. Though I think the matter of poverty applies there as well.
 
Lord please bless and help Kevin in every aspect of his life Amen

Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
I can sympathize with some of what you are feeling. Working in the education field, losing my job, careless mistakes, these which caused financial hardships. One of the difference is that I have a family to help support. I had felt like a failure through all this. It is hard to put all your faith and trust in the Lord and give him your problems and let him work them out for you, but once I was able to do that life was a little easier to handle with him by my side. I pray almost everyday with a friend of mine who is not even Catholic but she has opened my eyes to so many marvels of the Lord and has also helped me work things out because she has dealt and continues to deal with financial struggles. This financial experience that I face has brought my husband & I closer and stronger. I know people may have already told you…Everything happens for a reason you may just not know it yet, but it does. These experiences have also strengthen my faith and I believe I was meant to go through these situations, even though difficult at times, Our Lord Jesus Christ, has been right with me. I will always remember that my problems were created overnight so the resolution will not be either.

I will say a rosary for you, for Our Blessed Virgin Mary and her son, Jesus to help and guide you through your troubles and life with a clear mind and thoughts.

================================================================

St Jude, apostle and faithful servant of Jesus, intercede for me in this time of need. I pray to you as an advocate for those most in need of God’s mercy. When situations are difficult & at times may even seem hopeless, you invite us to realize God’s Divine presence. Come to the assistance of all those who call on you in faith. In your name I praise Father, Son and Holy Spirit, with all the angels and saints, for God’s gifts of faith, hope, & love.
 
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name:
Thy kingdom come: Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread: and forgive us our trespasses as
we forgive those who trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation: but deliver us from evil.
Amen

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee:
blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen

Guardian Angel, watch over those whose names you can read in my heart. Guard over them with every care and make their way easy and their labours fruitful. Dry their tears if they weep; sanctify their joys; raise their courage if they weaken; restore their hope if they lose heart, their health if they be ill, truth if they err, repentance if they fail.
Amen

 
Hail Mary,
full of grace,
the Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb,
Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
Memorare (Prayer to Our Lady)
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence, I fly unto you, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you do I come, before you I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kevin, do not stress over these things at all! There are adults in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s broke with or without Children, Single or Married and many of them given support by either Family Members, Friends, Colleagues and their Communities at some stage during their lives or continuously!

Your Father would not be assisting financially if he did not love you, respect you and proud of you! Most parents love to assist their Children of any age! My Father recently paid my insurance (against my protestations) as he had not done much financially in my life previously before turning 80 Years of age.

The most important thing for me to do as his Child was to be genuinely grateful, loving and humble along with thanking God, The Holy Spirit, Jesus and Mother Mary who deserve the full credit working through Dad. Every Gift given to you through Life is from God, The Holy Spirit and Jesus. Thank Jesus when thanking your Father. Then, undertake some community kindnesses of your own, giving to others in your spare time as a way of thanking Jesus for His Gifts through your Dad.

In relation to your Teaching; we all learn daily until we die; including School Principals, Lecturers, Professors, The Pope, Bishops, Priests et all! Nothing is as important in This World other than our relationships with Jesus, God and The Holy Spirit and Mother Mary.

Nothing! Therefore, never allow financial woes and day to day obstacles to ever overcome you during life. Keep your sense of humour and enjoy other activities in your life involving family and friends (work is work and can always be there).

Pray The Holy Rosary daily or as regularly as possible asking for Jesus’ Divine Holy Love and Wisdom and Mother Mary for your Teaching career and/or future career and vocations.

Love and best wishes.
 
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