Pray for my family (divorce)

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Husband, thank you for you kind thoughts and prayers for my youngest son’s marriage on my post.
We’ll just keep praying for you and your wife too. It’s one day at a time or one goes crazy doesn’t one, so may God help you both through this.
It was hard in my marriage. My husband left when my youngest of three was 18 months. The next time was for six months and I thought it was the end. The next time was for a week, and the last was ten months. I thought that was really the end. But he came back and doesn’t even talk about leaving any more. He’s become a gentler, kinder person.
Prayer can carry it all through, and I pray it does for you.
Trishie:)
 
Thank you very much Trishie. I all appreciate your support & the support of everyone here so very much.🙂
I prayed this morning for all of you also. Last night was ok for me. For some reason I felt ok. I slept on the couch & really didn’t think of sleeping in my bedroom. We had very little conversation yesterday, it was kind of nice. Although I wish we were back to normal, but I realize that isn’t going to happen for a while or it may just never happen again. I felt good this morning, but now here at work I feel a little alone, I guess unloved. Well at least my children love me :love:.
I tell you if it wasn’t for them I would have gone insane already. Pray for me that my day goes well today & to restore the love my wife once had for me. You all are great!
 
Dear Lord Jesus Christ,

Please be with this husband as he tries to hold together his family. We know it is not easy and that sometimes we are tempted to just let it go. You know him Lord Jesus, please give him the strength and stamina to see this storm through.

Please bless him Lord.

In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
 
Husband. Not only just your children love you. God loves you more than anything. Place Him first in your life and let him work through you. I’m praying very hard that you will find peace and freedom from so much stress and situation in such a difficult situation. Please keep us posted. We’re here for you.
 
Hello Friends - Well my children & I made it to mass today. It was nice, but I missed my wife being with us. Especially when you see other happy families. My 9 yr. old son over heard my wife talking about the divorce the other night & questioned me about it. I couldn’t lie & told him it was a possibility. He has no understanding that the divorce has already been filed. He cried, we both cried. I felt like a horrible person, it isn’t fair for him. He didn’t ask for this. I almost hate my wife for all of this or is it just anger & dissapointment? The more I type the more upset I become. I am frusterated with all of this! Will The Lord ever here me?

Husband
 
Continued prayers for you!

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of our death.
Amen

May Pope John Paul II heal your family through his intercession.
 
Husband, I have no words of wisdom for you right now, but please know that you and your family are in my prayers!
 
Dear Husband, I was a little stunned that divorce has already been filed. Your wife isn’t giving you any false hope. I think in your situation a person tends to live in a kind of on-going shock. And you wake up after you do manage to get some sleep and something feels terribly wrong, and then you remember what it is. It’s a kind of living nightmare, isn’t it.

I thank God you have a close relationship with your children. Please God help this good man and his children through this ordeal. Help them through the peaks and the troughs.
Please help them to rebuild their live to happiness and peace.

Love, Trishie
 
Husband,
God does hear you! He hears every word! Stop and take a minute so that you can hear him. He is speaking to you, even if it isn’t what you want to hear.

Father, I beg of you to send down
showers of blessings upon this man
and his children. Grant them peace and
understanding as they struggle with this trial.
Open their ears so that they will hear you Lord.
Give this man the strength to speak with
his children, be open and honest with them.
Give this man the wisdom to answer the
questions that his children may have without
passing on his human anger toward his wife.
We ask this in the name of Jesus.
AMEN
 
I’ll pray for you. I know how it feels what your wife had said. I also got that feeling in my wife. But never loose hope and faith to God, for God is a Loving Father that helps those who call Him.

Oh God, please guide the path of husband and her wife. Enlighten their way so that they may continue to cherish a happy family. May you be the center of the family. We ask this in Jesus name. Amen:gopray:
 
Good Morning All - Thank you for your prayers. I am trying so hard to be strong. This is a nightmare! I hardly sleep & I function very minimal at work. I feel as if everyone knows that something is wrong with me. At the house I see the stress on the children, deep in their eyes I see it. Mind you all we try & be civil at home, no fighting or arguing. But the children & I are on our own. I’m trying to give them a normal life as much as possible, but they know its not. It kills me to look into my precious little boy’s eyes & see that pain, I know its there. My daughter has been a rock for me to date so far. She is a very mature 12 year old. She is building anamosity towards her mom, I see it. But at the same time I know she misses her.
Life is not fair…

Husband
 
Trishie said:
Dear Husband, I was a little stunned that divorce has already been filed. Your wife isn’t giving you any false hope. I think in your situation a person tends to live in a kind of on-going shock. And you wake up after you do manage to get some sleep and something feels terribly wrong, and then you remember what it is. It’s a kind of living nightmare, isn’t it.

I thank God you have a close relationship with your children. Please God help this good man and his children through this ordeal. Help them through the peaks and the troughs.
Please help them to rebuild their live to happiness and peace.

Love, Trishie
Click to expand...
Hi Trishie - Yes, she filed on May 5th. I have yet to respond to her filing. California is an awful state for divorces. Its a “no fault” state. The state is usually tough on husbands & fathers.
You’re so right about the nightmare. At times I’d rather not wake up. I got maybe 3 hours of sleep last night & I feel like a zombie here at work. I need to go see a priest from my church as I feel like breaking down.
Just so you know your words & thoughts are encouraging. At this point as I stated before I don’t know wether to ask God to make me strong & let her go or keep praying to Him to heal & save our marriage…

Husband
 
It doesn’t sound like she’s giving you a choice, but I’d be the same as you, driving myself nuts trying to discern which I should do. Maybe you can just say often "Thy will be done’. A priest once wrote to me, “Free will is a two-edged sword pointed directly at the heart of God.” …and your heart, the heart of anyone who isn’t given any say in what they radically want and need. Do you have family support? I thank God you have the CAF familIt’s only day by day, though, isn’t it, because everything, grief, desperation, comes in waves. y. We will continue to pray for you. Bless you, Trishie
 
Husband, keeping your family in prayer. Please, talk to supportive family members, those in your church, etc… You need to rally your support system!
 
Husband,

I have been through a divorce. I fervently pray that you can avoid it. Although I received an annulment, I spent many years in a very dark place - and I still live with its consequences 11 years later despite having remarried and having had children since then. Divorce might feel like an easy way out when you are in a dark place in a marriage, but the stark reality is that divorce is hard - even in my case where I had extremely good cause for my divorce and annulment. (My priest told me that he hadn’t seen an annulment process so quickly).

I do not share this with you to fill you with fear, but rather as something you can tell your wife. She might want out for whatever reason, but the reality she will face afterwards has a very good chance of being worse than what she is dealing with now. Marriage counseling, with a priest or professional counselor, while very difficult, is more likely to bring about a good resolution in the long run.

Another thing - true love is more than just a feeling. I can’t cite the chapter and verse, but I think one of the letters in the new testament describes what love is - patient, kind, slow to anger, quick to forgive, etc. These things are actions, decisions, and states of beings - not just the romantic love that comes with dating. Again, I’m not sharing this to cause pain or cause you to provoke a fight with your wife - but rather to offer you something that you can use to discuss your situation with your wife. Out of love, you and she together may decide to stay together and work things out - even if very difficult.

Also, you can’t control your wife. If she decides to leave you, as my first wife left me, there is not much you can do other than offer your prayers to God and try to live as Christ wanted.

At least for me, I will say that had I known what would come after divorce, I would have worked much harder to stay married to my first wife - despite the horrible situation for me at that time. Nevertheless, you can only control what you do and say, not what she does and says.

I hope that by sharing this you can find something to work with. In the meantime I will truly pray in Christ’s name that your pain will ease and that you will find a peaceful home once again.

God Bless,
Ted
 
I just read above that your wife actually filed legal papers. That might make it very hard to get her to talk to you about staying, but you could still try.

In the meantime, I fervently pray for you and your children. As someone else posted above, find a support system. Support in the form of counseling and friends will make all the difference to you - I know from my own experience.

God Bless,
Ted
 
Thank you Ted. You seem like a very strong person. I wish I could be that strong at this time. I agree about seeking help, but she refuses so far. I wish I had an aswer to all of this mayhem. This is one storm that is taking a toll on me physically, emotionally & mentally.
I did manage to reach out to my church & spoke briefly with a father & he set me up for an appointment for tomorrow morning. I wanted to go 20 minutes ago, but that was the soonest he had. I don’t know what I should ask or should I just open up & let it all go. I think I need it spritually…

Husband
 
Husband,

I’m glad my words helped a little. I’m glad to hear you are going to talk to a priest.

I may appear strong now, and I believe I am, but know that I once went through what you are feeling now. I truly can empathize. If I am strong now it is only because I walked a very dark path for a long time and then found my way back to the path of light. Now that I am in the light again, I am better able to cope with other hardships. But I wouldn’t recommend my experiences to anyone. It’s better to stay in the light. Trust me.

I will also share with you that I did things after my divorce that I am not proud of - and for which I still must pay a temporal price even after confession. For just one, I fell away from the church, but that led to other things.

As horrible as you feel, I strongly urge you to talk with your priest and follow his advice. I reiterate my advice to seek support in the right places - certainly there are bad places (again, I know from experience). Your priest can hopefully point you to those additional, good resources.

And continue to pray. Had I done that more I would have suffered much less in the long run - but I know it’s hard to pray when you’ve been hit in the gut so hard.

I pray that you can avoid the kinds of mistakes I made. I pray that your wife will have a change of heart and that you can work things out. I also pray that both of you may find solace and peace.

God Bless,
Ted
 
Something else I recommend, this time as an attorney licensed to practice law in the State of California - seek out a good lawyer now. Unfortuantely, I cannot help you. I am not your attorney. I will only provide you with the advice that you seek legal counseling and also give some advice on how to find a good lawyer.

Your local bar association can recommend experienced attorneys - find one that has at least five years of experience in family law. Interview several of them, don’t just pick the first one you go to. It’s their job, but it’s your life. Hopefully you can find one that is a practicing Catholic, who can understand you, and who is affordable.

California does allow certified specialization in family law. Certified specialists charge more - but you get what you pay for. If you can afford it, I recommend an attorney that is a certified specialist in family law.

[Edit: I recommend against using the phone book. Use the local bar association referral system instead.]

I strongly recommend that you do not attempt to handle the legal aspect of divorce yourself. I can’t stress this advice enough. Also, do not wait. Now that your wife has filed papers, you should find a good lawyer as quickly as possible so that your lawyer will have time to prepare.

Note that getting a lawyer does not doom reconciliation with your wife. Be sure to explain to the lawyer that you still hope for reconciliation, even if you know it isn’t likely. Your lawyer is bound by the code of ethics to attempt to achieve your goals. However, your lawyer should be able to protect you from unscrupulous practices (or at least try).

Getting a lawyer does not mean that you must attempt to treat your wife unfairly. Again, you control the lawyer’s goals. However, the lawyer can advise you as to your specific situation, handle matters for you, and generally attempt to protect you from unscrupulous practices.

Hopefully, you can still avoid divorce, but don’t let yourself be trodden upon unfairly.

God Bless,
Ted
 
Ted, thank you for your advice & words. And to ALL also. I’m nervous & yet excited to speak with Father Porter from our church. I wish my wife would join me. I actually left her a memo in her car this morning & invited her, but I doubt it. It doesn’t hurt to try. Things are bad for her at work right now. She is not wanting to go to work & stated she hated her job. She told me she was written up at work, but we didn’t discuss on why. I do know she was upset & layed in bed all of yesterday when she got home from work. I had to kick in to mommy/daddy mode again.
I woke up this morning on the couch & missed my bed & wife so much that I nearly went upstairs & layed next to her. It’s hard waking up nowadays…
Please pray for us my dear friends.

Husband
 
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