Prayer is a communication. We can pray to many; a study of the English language, among others, shows that the word historically is understood as “to ask” (ex. Shakespeare’s ‘prithee’ which is a contraction for ‘pray thee’, and meaning, "I ask you’.). We can pray with our family and friends. We can pray ‘to’ our family and friends (I pray you, good friend, to assist me). We communicate.
So praying to Mary is a communication which is traditional, historical, and Biblical. Now, in praying to Mary, our ultimate aim in communication with her is not to ‘stop’ there. Mary’s assistance to us is always by leading us to Jesus. Mary does not act in lieu of Jesus, but Jesus can and does act through Mary. He came to us through being born of Mary. He assures us in Scripture that, through Him, we can do great deeds. Any deeds which Mary does (indeed, which any person in heaven can do) can only be done through Jesus. For all in heaven are ultimately in union with Jesus. While they possess their own ‘soul’, that soul has become perfect in obedience and will and thus conforms to Jesus’ will perfectly, as Jesus’ will conforms perfectly to His Father. Yet Jesus, while being One with the Father, is also ‘separate’ in His humanity. Jesus could have chosen ‘differently’ from the Father, yet freely He chose to conform His will to the Father.
All of us, in seeking to follow Jesus, are seeking to do so perfectly and to conform ourselves to Jesus, to be one with Him.
That is what Mary shows us. Conformed most perfectly to His will, she is an example to us (fellow humans) yet above all, that example is to conform ourselves to HIM, just as she did.
