Praying together for Marriages

[mariam1976]

hi mariam, i am also praying for you and your marriage. i can relate so much to you, a few months back i too was at a point where i was crying a lot, i couldn’t eat, everything that i did took so much effort. thank God that only lasted for a few months, i began to pray differently, i began to rely on what God was wanting me to do. i has been a very painful journey for me, unfortunately i was the one who hurt my wife so much that she asked me to leave. at that point i was blaming everyone except myself, i am now in therapy and praying more than ever. i feel that God is really molding me into the kind of man that i was supposed to be. i have since expressed sincere regret for my actions.

since i have began to pray and asked religous orders to pray for me and my marriage i have seen what seemed like an impossible task turn into something that will indeed be hard, but seems doable. i have changed my life around, i am really starting to live my faith and learn more about it. i thank God for this trial, i thank my wife for not putting up with me. now i pray that she can show me some mercy and allow me to be the husband that God wants me to be.

thank you peter46. I am sorry to hear that you are going through the same difficult circumstance that I am going through right now. I dont know what else to do right now, but I feel like I have my answer be what it may. I was listening to a tape on marriage counselling although dh is not here to do it with me and trying to make sense of what I did wrong in the marriage. I hope this will help me in some form.
I will pray for you too… and God Bless~

 

[nana3]

I have a couple that needs immediate attention and prayers. I know this woman at church and she has never talked about her marriage except to say that it is her second marriage. I was with my sister who is newly divorced and she did not advice remarriage to my sister until her children were much older. She stated how she wished she would have stayed single again even though she has a beautiful 6 year old. She told us that her husband and her sleep in separate bedrooms and really don’t have a marriage. She told us that she is to afraid to get a divorce for he is in the Italian mofia. I didn’t know what to tell her for her husband is a murderer and God only knows what else. She said that if she left him, he would have her killed and keep their daughter. She said she rather stay married and alive to enjoy her daughter. Her poor daughter is afraid of her father. I saw him in Mass on Sunday and he went up to receive Communion with a most irreverent posture. He walked as if he was “cool” before and after Communion. It was quite sad to see him receive Our Lord with all his crimes.

Anyway, her name is Jo and I don’t know her husband’s name. Their marriage needs a miraculour conversion on the part of the husband. Please pray for her and her child. Thanks.

 

[mommyof4]

I have a couple that needs immediate attention and prayers. I know this woman at church and she has never talked about her marriage except to say that it is her second marriage. I was with my sister who is newly divorced and she did not advice remarriage to my sister until her children were much older. She stated how she wished she would have stayed single again even though she has a beautiful 6 year old. She told us that her husband and her sleep in separate bedrooms and really don’t have a marriage. She told us that she is to afraid to get a divorce for he is in the Italian mofia. I didn’t know what to tell her for her husband is a murderer and God only knows what else. She said that if she left him, he would have her killed and keep their daughter. She said she rather stay married and alive to enjoy her daughter. Her poor daughter is afraid of her father. I saw him in Mass on Sunday and he went up to receive Communion with a most irreverent posture. He walked as if he was “cool” before and after Communion. It was quite sad to see him receive Our Lord with all his crimes.

Anyway, her name is Jo and I don’t know her husband’s name. Their marriage needs a miraculour conversion on the part of the husband. Please pray for her and her child. Thanks.

You’ve got it, nana3.

 

[jules11]

This is a great thread. Some of you know that I am separated but it has been a necessary separation.
I have begun to see where I am to blame in things although my husband has responsibility as well.
We get along well living apart, but I’m worried about things being the way they were if we ever get back together…
I could do with prayers and I will pray for your marriages as well.
God bless you all!

 

[nana3]

You have our prayers Jules.

I thought we could concentrate on forgiveness in the marriage these next few days. Maybe, you need to forgive your spouse for something that you are having trouble with. Let us all full together and pray that we all forgive each other in our marriage. For those who have the touch job of forgiving adultery or pornography, let us pray for strength that comes from the Holy Spirit.

Let us pray for forgiving within the marriage. If you have having a tough time with something in particular, bring it up, we have people here with great love and advice.

 

[katy]

What about long term marriages where one partner has lost interest? I think I could disappear and no one would notice until something wasn’t done. Suggestions are taken as wanting him to " follow orders" from me. A (regettable) part of me wishes that marriages were just considered over when the last child leaves home and one partner is no longer interested. Not violent, just cold and distant. The idea of retirement scares me. I love the prayer given earlier. Thank you for sharing it.

 

[ktp]

I am also (once again) requesting prayers. When I read about some other marriages, I am almost ashamed of what I consider problems. My husband makes me omelettes, with the works, every morning, brings me tea, helps around the house, is great with the kids, my family loves him, etc.

But in the past 2 years, I have also discovered a great deal of emotional (hopefully only emotional) infidelity, secrets, lies; shutting me out of his life, family, work, and friends; and talking me down to everyone he knows. We went to Retrouvaille, which was great as long as I only voiced Stepford Wife Feelings. We’re now going to counseling.

He has given me many reasons to hope and see a brighter future, in the past months, but given how much deception and lying I have discovered has run throughout our entire marriage (17.5 years), I pretty much feel that to trust him would be to be a fool.

Thank you for any and all prayers.

(If anyone else is dealing with emotional infidelity, there is a forum for it. PT me for the address.)

 

[LovedForever]

What about long term marriages where one partner has lost interest? I think I could disappear and no one would notice until something wasn’t done. Suggestions are taken as wanting him to " follow orders" from me. A (regettable) part of me wishes that marriages were just considered over when the last child leaves home and one partner is no longer interested. Not violent, just cold and distant. The idea of retirement scares me. I love the prayer given earlier. Thank you for sharing it.

My heart goes out to you. (And all those suffering here in their marriages.)

I know from personal experience that God CAN and DOES perform miracles today in marriage. If your first thought is, “Yeah, maybe someone else’s but not MINE!” you are wrong. I once thought that way too. And now, after more than two decades of marriage, much of what was distant and cold - God has restored us to how we were and how we felt about each other back when we 'fell in love!"
It has been a miracle!
One thing that helps is to avoid the world’s notion that love is just a “feeling” and that if we do not “feel” loving toward our spouse then we are not required or obligated to act that way toward them.
This is the wrong perspective to have. Loving “feelings” come and go.
Instead, adopt the true perspective that “Love is a DECISION.”

Example: My husband is rude and cold toward me. No way do I “feel” like going up and wrapping my arms around him and kissing him. No way do I “feel” like walking over and rubbing his tired feet. No way do I “feel” like telling him I appreciate him and the work he does. No way do I “feel” like telling him I love him.
Do it anyway!
These are “acts” of love - not motivated by how affectionate** we feel toward him (or her) - but rather motivated by real love - which is self-less. No expectation for yourself - just the good of another. (Christ on the cross is the “perfect” example)

Don’t give up. If you do not get a positive repsponse - continue to “decide to love.” Put the other first.
In time - you WILL see a change. If you pray and ask God to fill in the gaps of those places that need filling in. (Grace!)

He is faithful. In His time.
You are in my prayers.

 

[Mperea75]

I am engaged to wonderful woman dn I belive prayer in for married couples is important. However the concecrated life (i.e. priesthood, brotherhood, sisterhood, and the single life) should not be neglegted in with a husband and a wife. God Bless you

 

[nana3]

My heart goes out to you. (And all those suffering here in their marriages.)

I know from personal experience that God CAN and DOES perform miracles today in marriage. If your first thought is, “Yeah, maybe someone else’s but not MINE!” you are wrong. I once thought that way too. And now, after more than two decades of marriage, much of what was distant and cold - God has restored us to how we were and how we felt about each other back when we 'fell in love!"
It has been a miracle!
One thing that helps is to avoid the world’s notion that love is just a “feeling” and that if we do not “feel” loving toward our spouse then we are not required or obligated to act that way toward them.
This is the wrong perspective to have. Loving “feelings” come and go.
Instead, adopt the true perspective that “Love is a DECISION.”

Example: My husband is rude and cold toward me. No way do I “feel” like going up and wrapping my arms around him and kissing him. No way do I “feel” like walking over and rubbing his tired feet. No way do I “feel” like telling him I appreciate him and the work he does. No way do I “feel” like telling him I love him.
Do it anyway!
These are “acts” of love - not motivated by how affectionate** we feel toward him (or her) - but rather motivated by real love - which is self-less. No expectation for yourself - just the good of another. (Christ on the cross is the “perfect” example)

Don’t give up. If you do not get a positive repsponse - continue to “decide to love.” Put the other first.
In time - you WILL see a change. If you pray and ask God to fill in the gaps of those places that need filling in. (Grace!)

He is faithful. In His time.
You are in my prayers.

Thank you so much for your wisdom in what has worked for you, but also that it is the correct thing to do and that is to be Christ-like in all we do and not go by feelings only. Thanks for reminding me. I think all of us that are married could benefit from the wisdom of those married for so long.

Thanks again.

 

[nana3]

I am engaged to wonderful woman dn I belive prayer in for married couples is important. However the concecrated life (i.e. priesthood, brotherhood, sisterhood, and the single life) should not be neglegted in with a husband and a wife. God Bless you

I don’t know about anyone else, but this thread is not at all to ignore the consecrated life. I for one have always kept them in prayer and the reason I started this thread is because most churches on a daily basis pray for priest, religious and increase in these vocations, but marriages get left out or forgotten. At a church I just attended daily Mass for an example, encourages people to say outloud their prayer intention and vocations are always included, as well as the priesthood.

I love our priest and religious and believe we should all pray for them daily and not criticize them. If everyone prayed for them, we would not have so many priest go astray, but we do need to pray for marriages. Marriages are in trouble. Look at the many threads written her by both men and women who are struggling in their marriage or who are separated or getting a divorce. It breaks my heart. The children are the one in the middle of mom and dad’s divorce and suffer so much. I know this first hand with one of my sisters divorce. I prayed so much for their marriage, but her husband wanted out. We need to pray for marriages! I know my marriage needs it.

 

[nana3]

I hope that all of us are still praying for marriages. I know that some of you suffer and others do not and are very happily married. I would also like us to include happily married couples. All marriages need our prayers, especially hurting ones, but the happily married couples also need our prayers. Let us not forget them in our marriage prayers.

I would like to pray especially this week for those who are married and suffer from loneliness. If you suffer from that include us in so that we could specifically pray for you and your spouse.

 

[mariam1976]

could u pray for me and my husband? I know we r going through a divorce… but i would still like ur prayers as I am lonely even though i am married.

 

[farmer2]

Please pray for me and my wife. Although we are still together I feel extremely lonely. My wife has lost all interest in our relationship. She avoids spending time with me, talking to me and being intimite with me. I fear this may end in divorce.

In Christ,
Jim

 

[mariam1976]

Please pray for me and my wife. Although we are still together I feel extremely lonely. My wife has lost all interest in our relationship. She avoids spending time with me, talking to me and being intimite with me. I fear this may end in divorce.

In Christ,
Jim

If you feel this is an issue, please get some counselling. I am not saying neglect the power of prayer but the reason for divorce is primarily communication and you guys seem to be lacking it. Counselling will help you repair that

 

[twiggymoo]

Please pray for me and my wife. Although we are still together I feel extremely lonely. My wife has lost all interest in our relationship. She avoids spending time with me, talking to me and being intimite with me. I fear this may end in divorce.

In Christ,
Jim

Jim,
I know what you are feeling. After 37 years of marriage, I can say that I have had those the feelings of being shut out. She would read the Bible every morning and I would say to myself -“she reads the Bible but disobeys it”. After our 20th year together, she told me she couldn’t take it anymore - well then, I woke up and started doing things around the house, dishes, ironing and anything to please her - even cut down on the beer. I still do these things today. For many years I fought tempations to cheat and almost succumbed many times. It took her a while to trust me because in our early years, I was unfaithful. I think a woman never really forgets, because she would remind me of it through the years. Now as we are past our 35th year together, she is changing and seems to respect me more. Perhaps I am still “the fool” in her mind, I don’t know. I do know that Satan is attacking families and our country/society is becoming more anti-child and anti-family as time passes on. How marriages today really need prayer! It is a fight that can only be won on our knees. I will pray for you and your wife.

 

[nana3]

Let us pray then for Jim, Mariam and all who suffer loneliness. May the Lord Jesus heal their marriages and heal each person suffering. May trust be placed where trust was lost. May broken hearts be touched by the Holy Spirit. May loneliness be defeated by perseverance in prayer and committment to the marriage. May communication be restored by intercessions of Our Blessed Mother and St. Joseph.

Yes, I agree so much with twiggymoo that our society today is anti-child and anti-family. It is under attack from the world and Satan. Everywhere you turn someone is getting a divorce or preventing having any children or just one or two. It is very sad and we do need to pray so much for marriages.

Thanks to all who responded for prayers for loneliness. Let us keep these people and all who have not responded who suffer from loneliness.

 

[jules11]

Please pray for me. Things have been really good between my husband and I lately but just a week ago they turned really, really bad. And I don’t even know why… Please, I need your prayers desperately as I’m so stressed, I’m finding it hard to pray.

 

[Gertabelle]

Please pray for me. Things have been really good between my husband and I lately but just a week ago they turned really, really bad. And I don’t even know why… Please, I need your prayers desperately as I’m so stressed, I’m finding it hard to pray.

You are in my prayers. When you say really bad, are you talking abusive? If so, then get help immediately. I will bring the two of you to the altar at Mass. I can’t think of a better prayer.

God bless you.

Gert

 

[mommyof4]

Please pray for me. Things have been really good between my husband and I lately but just a week ago they turned really, really bad. And I don’t even know why… Please, I need your prayers desperately as I’m so stressed, I’m finding it hard to pray.

Yes, I’ll certainly pray for you.