Pre school?

[brendenseth]

My daughter is 3 and a half right now, she is supposed to start pre school in the fall. We are going to be homeschooling so it would just be for fun. My question is about the teacher. There is a waiting list for over a year because she is really good, but I was friends on Facebook with her and she is a supporter of gay marriage. Also she’s not Catholic. This is mostly to just get her playing with other children. I just wondered what everyone’s thoughts were on this? Thank you.

 

[Isca]

Well, in life we will always be working and playing with people who don’t share our views! The teacher isn’t going to be talking about gay marriage to the little children.

 

[Deus_tecum]

If you want your wee daughter to be Holy, send her to schools run by Holy people. If you want her indoctrinated into the ways of the world, send her to schools run by worldly people. The idea that a liberal won’t promote their agenda to little children is incorrect. There are already childrens’ picture books featuring 2 daddies or 2 mommies as being part of a “regular family”. Long before gay “marriage” was legal anywhere in the US, a 4th grade public school student told me his male teacher had a male visitor to the class, and that teacher introduced that man as his “husband”.

 

[Used2beSherryG]

Skip the pre school Take your child to the park where the young one can see other children and begin to learn how to interact. Being with you in social settings allows you the opportunity to monitor and see for yourself what is happening. This great social push to get children away from the family and begin to indoctrinate them in the secular ways benefits the child in no meaningful way. A three year old needs to be in the bosom of the family. Home schooling allows for ways to have your child socialize with other home schoolers. Just because your child will at some time in the future have to interact with the secular world doesn’t mean it has to begin in the most formative years.

 

[Deus_tecum]

Skip the pre school Take your child to the park where the young one can see other children and begin to learn how to interact. Being with you in social settings allows you the opportunity to monitor and see for yourself what is happening. This great social push to get children away from the family and begin to indoctrinate them in the secular ways benefits the child in no meaningful way. A three year old needs to be in the bosom of the family. Home schooling allows for ways to have your child socialize with other home schoolers. Just because your child will at some time in the future have to interact with the secular world doesn’t mean it has to begin in the most formative years.

:

 

[pensmama87]

If your interest in preschool is primarily about playing with other kids, I’d suggest regular play dates or similar (bonus: no tuition!) Or you could do a specific structured activity like gymnastics, music, etc. There are even preschool catechesis programs like Catechesis of the Good Shepherd.

I agree with Isca that politics are unlikely to enter the equation at all, but from what you’ve posted I know preschool wouldn’t be what I was looking for.

(My oldest son is starting preschool at our parish school soon, but we are not planning on homeschooling and I was specifically looking for that kind of stucture for him. We already do lots of playdates and his social skills have really blossomed just from that. I do like him regularly seeing some of the same kids because he can establish friendships with them. But I think preschool is really different from that - for me it’s providing a low-pressure structure similar to school, where a teacher can focus on him and do activities that aren’t in my forte that he will still thrive by doing.)

 

[Allegra]

I think it is highly unlikely that a pre-school teacher is going to be talking to the kids about homosexual marriage and you could always discuss the issue with the teacher before signing your daughter up. However, if you don’t feel the need to send your child to pre-school for academic reasons, I don’t know that I agree that it’s the best place for kids to socialize. It may depend on the pre-school, but many of the kids may be there for academic reasons, early intervention, learning reading skills, etc. Free play will likely be a component, but much of the time will be spent in more structured activities. If this isn’t what you want, pre-school most likely isn’t what you are looking for.

 

[Xantippe]

Skip the pre school Take your child to the park where the young one can see other children and begin to learn how to interact. Being with you in social settings allows you the opportunity to monitor and see for yourself what is happening. This great social push to get children away from the family and begin to indoctrinate them in the secular ways benefits the child in no meaningful way. A three year old needs to be in the bosom of the family. Home schooling allows for ways to have your child socialize with other home schoolers. Just because your child will at some time in the future have to interact with the secular world doesn’t mean it has to begin in the most formative years.

1. In some parts of the country, pretty much all of the children of the appropriate age are in preschool. (I had that happen to me in DC–there were almost no moms at the parks, just nannies, and then at some point there weren’t any bigger kids there during school hours.)
2. I know some people manage to make friends at the park, but I never could. Our social life as a family first really bloomed when our oldest went to preschool co-op and I was able to get to know other families in depth.
3. Preschool co-ops are great! (But tricky when you have other children.) They can be very inexpensive and they offer the opportunity to get to know everybody really well.
4. 3-year-olds can be very demanding for novelty and very demanding in general. By that age, they may have exhausted their legal options at home. Meanwhile at preschool, they’ve got drawer after drawer of fun things.
5. A child that spends a morning with friends and new-to-them toys is often easier to deal with at home afterward.
6. A mom that doesn’t deal with a toddler for 12 hours at a time can be sweeter and more imaginative.
7. Preschool can be very helpful in providing the structure for encouraging the balky potty-trainee.

So, there are many pluses. (I think the big minus is the possibility of the child bringing home germs from preschool.)

If you have a rich existing social life and inexhaustible home resources and a docile child, you can probably get by without preschool. However, if you don’t, preschool can be amazing.

 

[katsm644]

Check your local resources first.

Is there a homeschooling support group in your area? A home school co-op? This will get you in touch with those resources for the coming years now. And they will likely have things for the kids to do. The co-ops will have stuff for children in your daughter’s age group. Both put you in touch with families with children of similar age. Try MeetUp.com to locate interest groups in your area. I lived in a very rural community for a couple years and was surprised to find a homeschooling group nearby.

Do you live in an area with a hands-on science museum? Do you have a local zoo? Start looking into the learning resources and you will find that your daughter will naturally be socializing within those environments. There are many free to low cost options available.

Do not assume that just because your daughter is 3 and young that she will not be exposed to ideas and influences objectionable to you. Nothing is guaranteed.

Also, don’t place your daughter in preschool just for socialization. One of the questions you will face commonly as a homeschool family is regarding the false myth of socialization. Homeschoolers are better socialized than their public and private peers. Why? Because they interact with all ages not just those within the same school year as themselves. Having friends of the same age is fine but not necessary.

 

[pianistclare]

Agreed. My eldest daughter only went to preschool because I felt pressure form the Catholic Mothers group to send her there. Best thing I ever did fro her.
We made such great lifelong (yes, lifelong) friends. She learned how to spell everyone’s name in the class, she learned to take turns without crying, she learned to share (as an only child at the time that was huge) she learned not to wiggle on the bus during field trips, she learned to raise her hand, she learned about Italy and other countries and cultures, various types of music, various kinds for games, compassion for friends who were hurt and disappointed, that other kids had grandparents who were Native Americans, the list goes on and on…
And her little sister loved it as well. She loved that the teachers recognized her name and felt like she would be just as fun as her big sister. A big deal for a very little girl with an eyepatch.
Preschool is great.
If one starts thinking the world is a bad evil place at such an early age, that’s a really sad childhood, IMHO.
Don’t panic until you have problems. Don’t read problems into every person you meet that is different for you. Part of our job as parents is to teach children how to handle themselves.
Many will disagree, but my girls are very well adjusted. And I let them play with all kinds of kids. And yes, they are still very Catholic in their thinking. They’ve seen other ways, and stayed with what I have taught them about faith and morals. Because it works.

Good luck!

 

[z_0101]

hmmm… being friends on facebook isn’t the same as being friends IRL.

• Playgrounds… often empty. Parents are too scared, and with good reason, to take their children out to the playground least they be turned in to the police for allowing their children to run and scream and have fun outside. Often what children are at the playground, their language, :bigyikes: even on the playground at our parish after school hours we open the area up to the public, as I work for the parish I often am around that area and I’ve had to ask parents to talk with their children about that language… and I’ve even asked several to leave!
• Even in the Catholic preschool that I send my children to, the topic of family structure comes up. Children pretend to have families and cook etc… this is a well know developmental stage and the teachers have to deal with this concept. How will this teacher deal with the concept? What resources will she be using?

If you are Home Schooling (HS) then please look around and find the other families that are also HS and find out what resources are available. What I am hearing is that more and more HS families are doing what I call group schooling (my term ) where multiple families share specializations or topics much the same as one finds in traditional schools. You might have such a group in your area.

If that isn’t available, almost any parochial school (“High-Church” and preferably Catholic) would, IMHO, be a better choice. More likely to deal with homosexual family structures with respect and yet denote that such isn’t considered by our faith to be the normal structure.

I assure you, this topic will come up and is already being established in the public schools as soon as they can do so, the following is an excerpt from a professional that the NYC public school districts have used in the past:
Psychology Today:Teaching Your Young Child about Homosexuality and Transgenderism Teach about sexual orientation and gender diversity very early on
Post published by Fred Kaeser Ed.D. on Dec 14, 2011 in What Your Child Needs To Know About Sex (And When):

One thing that strikes me as all too common when I address older elementary school and middle school children is their discomfort with homosexuality and their overall lack of awareness of people who are transgender.
(,)
And at what age did you start your conversations? Did you begin early? Say at age 5 or 6? Or did you wait until much later? Say 14 or 15 and beyond? Or again, have you not even started as yet?

My belief is it is never too late to begin your conversations with your child. But it can certainly be far better to start early. **I advise parents that the age of 5 is **a wonderful time to lay a foundation for what homosexuality is and to instill in your young child a sense of tolerance and acceptance for being lesbian or gay.
(,)​

Don’t get me wrong, tolerance and proper, human, treatment of people is proper in so much as we are all God’s Children. Even the CCC mentions those with same-sex issues and clearly states that these individuals deserve proper and human respect…

I think I’ll let that drop there as I see quicksand ahead :

One final thing…
It is thru the Catholic-pre-school, that my wife met the wonderful people that became my family’s sponsors, my oldest God-Parents (well one of them is anyway we split between two famlies), lead me to RCIA (OK, kicking and screaming the whole way ) by the example of their family and their life, and eventually in to the Catholic Faith.

You never know, you might meet a family, such as mine, that is sending their kids to the pre-school for whatever reason, and they need just that one example of what a good, holy, Catholic-Christian, family is (or can be ) to lead them to (or back to) the faith.

Bless you and yours

 

[Bonnie]

Preschool doesn’t have to be tightly structured. When my kids were that age, some moms at our parish got together and started a co-op preschool. IIRC, it was only one day a week and we took turns “teaching,” aka as riding herd on the kids.

It was fun and not too stressful for anyone.

 

[pianistclare]

Preschool doesn’t have to be tightly structured. When my kids were that age, some moms at our parish got together and started a co-op preschool. IIRC, it was only one day a week and we took turns “teaching,” aka as riding herd on the kids.

It was fun and not too stressful for anyone.

Yes. And don’t automatically discount the other preschools.
My girls went to a Methodist preschool and it was wonderful.

 

[captainrick]

I had a preschool teacher, as did my children. I have absolutely no idea what their religion was, nor whether they supported gay marriage.

I don’t care, as long as they did not try to influence the children in religious or sexual matters (which, of course, they did not).

 

[Xantippe]

I had a preschool teacher, as did my children. I have absolutely no idea what their religion was, nor whether they supported gay marriage.

I don’t care, as long as they did not try to influence the children in religious or sexual matters (which, of course, they did not).

Yes. Bear in mind that we know way more about random acquaintances’ politics, diet, and quirks because of social media than we learn from day to day interactions. Lots of people have Facebook courage that wouldn’t say boo in person.

 

[Sunbreak]

I don’t think there’s anything to be concerned about. As others have said, the teacher is not going to be teaching about gay marriage to a group so young. Your daughter will benefit greatly by learning how to interact with other children.

 

[pensmama87]

1. 3-year-olds can be very demanding for novelty and very demanding in general. By that age, they may have exhausted their legal options at home. Meanwhile at preschool, they’ve got drawer after drawer of fun things.
2. A child that spends a morning with friends and new-to-them toys is often easier to deal with at home afterward.
3. A mom that doesn’t deal with a toddler for 12 hours at a time can be sweeter and more imaginative.

So, we did VBS as a kind of “trial run” for my 4 year old for preschool.

I learned all three of these. The first couple of days DS was shyer than usual because I wasn’t with him, but he knew a couple of the other teachers (because they are moms of kids he knows) and he quickly learned that I would come and get him at lunch time. By the end of the week he was begging to start preschool the following week - we still have two weeks to go.

I was shocked at how much better we got along the days he was there, and how much more patient I was with him the rest of the day. It was also so nice to do more one-on-one with my younger child in the mornings, and he was also excited to have big brother come home and play with him (plus, of course, older brother made sure to teach him all the songs he learned).

(Also, older son went back to NAPPING in the afternoons!!! Turns out that environment can tire him out way better than a tired pregnant lady and one younger brother can. All around, sleep situation is way better.)

I was pretty firmly convinced that while I could probably homeschool if I absolutely had to, school is going to be a really good fit for us. But I don’t have any teacher or curriculum concerns at present.

 

[Xantippe]

So, we did VBS as a kind of “trial run” for my 4 year old for preschool.

I learned all three of these. The first couple of days DS was shyer than usual because I wasn’t with him, but he knew a couple of the other teachers (because they are moms of kids he knows) and he quickly learned that I would come and get him at lunch time. By the end of the week he was begging to start preschool the following week - we still have two weeks to go.

Very good!

I was shocked at how much better we got along the days he was there, and how much more patient I was with him the rest of the day. It was also so nice to do more one-on-one with my younger child in the mornings, and he was also excited to have big brother come home and play with him (plus, of course, older brother made sure to teach him all the songs he learned).

**Very nice!

Absence does make the heart grow fonder! (At least it does when you’re 4.)**

(Also, older son went back to NAPPING in the afternoons!!! Turns out that environment can tire him out way better than a tired pregnant lady and one younger brother can. All around, sleep situation is way better.)

I was pretty firmly convinced that while I could probably homeschool if I absolutely had to, school is going to be a really good fit for us. But I don’t have any teacher or curriculum concerns at present.

That’s fantastic!

 

[Xantippe]

That said, I have to mention that with full-day school, the day’s worst behavior often emerges between school pickup and dinner time, which can be unpleasant.

 

[Giggly_Giraffe]

Does your parish/near parish offer Caticisis of the Good Shepard? It offers Monasori schooling in our faith. Shorter time away from parents, but a great way to introduce social structure.